


you told me I was like the dead sea (I never sink when you are with me)

by clarkeofthebikru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-19 04:27:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 50,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3596313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarkeofthebikru/pseuds/clarkeofthebikru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Lexa wanted was a peaceful summer by the lake and instead she's living next door to party animal Clarke Griffin who throws a different party every night, and happens to think that maybe Lexa needs a little help unwinding.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if you want, you can follow me @ clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com for any update info, or whatever. hope you enjoy!
> 
> warnings: drugs & alcohol

Chapter 1

* * *

 

Trying to get anywhere during the daylight in New York City is one of the most arduous experiences ever, which is why Lexa lets out a long sigh of exasperation as she lets up on the breaks for all of 5 seconds before being forced to slow to a stop again. At this point, she’s seriously questioning her decision to leave earlier so she could drive in daylight, because she thinks at this rate, it probably won’t make a difference that she left early with the traffic the way it is.

Living in New York had never been quite what Lexa had expected. She isn’t all too happy with the city itself, but at the time she moved, she’d really had no choice. It’s not like there’s a lot of reasonable real estate out there where she could have started a bookstore, and when a spot in the city opened up, she took it.

The city is, quite frankly, a little gross for Lexa’s taste. It’s dirty, crowded, and often smells like a terrible combination of urine and rotting garbage. She grew up in New England, where everything was much less crowded (save for the bigger cities) and the air smelled like pine trees, and you could actually see the stars at night, so living in the city was pretty different from what she was used to.

It was a tough transition for her, but it was also something she’d been working towards all her life, and certainly not the worst challenge she’d faced by far, so she made it through without too much of a struggle. Thankfully she’d had many people to help her from the start, and one who she trusts enough to leave the store in the hands of for an entire summer while she takes a much needed vacation. She’s sure it’s a little unethical to leave her store in the hands of someone else for the majority of the summer while she does nothing but relaxes, and she still wonders if the fact that she can afford it is something she’s entirely comfortable with.

Truth be told, Lexa can’t even remember the last real vacation she took. Which is probably why she needs this summer more than anything. She can’t help but feel guilty for leaving the store all summer. It is her bookstore, after all, and she is responsible for it. But there’s a reason she hired people to work for her, so she supposes it’s really not anything to be too concerned about.

She’s looking forward to spending time by the lake and getting some time to herself to actually relax and unwind, though she thinks over two months may be a bit excessive. However, Anya had insisted she take that much time, especially after the stress her last few months had caused her. She was grateful to have her, and trusted her judgement enough to know she must be right.

It’s just a little hard to relax when she’s been sitting in traffic for almost two hours and still has somewhere around six hours of travel to do once she actually gets out of the city. It doesn’t help that she has her overexcited dog, Heda, in the back seat, moving from window to window trying to gauge her surroundings, letting out a bark every now and then at passing dogs on the sidewalk, and her phone jack for the stereo isn’t working so she can’t even listen to something that she enjoys to try and drown that out. Only two hours in and she’s almost more stressed than she was before she left. What a way to kick off the summer…

 

* * *

 

**  
** _ Mom: Hey Clarke. Hate to do this but the hospital needs someone to cover some extra shifts tomorrow, so I don’t think I can come to your gallery opening. So sorry, but I’ll come see it another day. Love you. _

 

* * *

 

**  
** Clarke reads the message over again to let herself fully believe it. She frowns and looks over at her roommate. “Hey, Raven,” Clarke starts, putting her phone down in her lap and poking the girl at her feet with her toe, “How much alcohol do we have in this place?”

“Dunno, a couple bottles, why?” She asks, but they both know why. Clarke is notoriously known as the life of the party and takes any chance she can to prove it.

“We’re having a party. Tomorrow. After my gallery opening. Anyone who wants to come can come. Octavia, Bellamy, Monty, Jasper, the whole crew.” Clarke tells her, getting up as she does. Raven doesn’t have to know that part of the reason she wants to have this party is so that she can ignore the fact that her mother is letting her down again. “Come on, let’s go out and get everything we need to throw a killer party for a shit ton of people”.

“Alright, princess, whatever you say.” Raven says, getting up herself. Clarke tenses a little at the nickname. Hearing it still doesn’t feel right. It’s too soon, the implications too raw. She shakes the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach and moves to grab the keys anyways and make her way through their living room to the door.

Opening it and stepping outside, she’s reminded of how much she loves the feel of the lake after a storm. Everything smells like fresh pine needles and rain and she loves it. Things that were once dirty are now clean, and everything is revitalized and fresh. Plus, it means she doesn’t have to water her plants the next day or so, which is a nice bonus.

It’s fairly dark out, but as she’s walking towards the car, Clarke notices another girl, probably her own age, walking into the house next door with the big, muscular guy from down the road, and stops to look at her as she takes the bag he was carrying (maybe even struggling with, a little) out of his hands with ease. From what she sees of her before she opens the door and goes inside, she’s pretty breathtaking; short, with her long brown hair in a perfect braid, walking almost regally towards her door. From how heavy her bag looks, Clarke guesses she’s definitely fit, but somehow she still looks delicate and small. She’s definitely not gonna hate having a girl that attractive living next door to her and Raven all summer.

“Hey, Griffin, let’s go. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to stare at the hot neighbor all summer.” Raven teases, and Clarke narrows her eyes at her, then starts to walk towards the car again.

“Fuck off Raven. I’m not staring, just seeing who our new neighbor is.” Clarke says, getting into the car as she does, but blushing nonetheless

“Whatever you say, Clarke.” Raven says with a smirk, getting in the passenger side of the car. “But it looks like she’s friends with that quiet guy from down the road so my guess is she’s not gonna be joining us for jell-o shots anytime soon.” Raven says, and Clarke quirks an eyebrow.

“Hm, well, we’ll see about that. But I do like what you’re thinking. Jell-o shots are always a crowd pleaser. Definitely putting that on our list. Along with a nice bottle of tequila and some limes, and OF COURSE, your favorite, jäger!” Clarke teases, and Raven’s eyes widen.

“Oh don’t even joke about it, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to drink that stuff again, not after last time.” They both laugh at the memory of Raven walking around behind the dunes of some beach, insisting that they were on the moon and that she was the first person to walk on it without a spacesuit and then proceeding to vomit and claiming it’s her body’s way of adjusting to the moon. Clarke pulls out of the driveway with a smile on her face and drives off and down the road towards the town center and the liquor store.

Clarke knows that now that she’s seen her, she won’t rest until hot neighbor girl makes at least one appearance at one of her parties, if not only so she can prove Raven wrong.

(She hopes that she’ll get to do much more than jell-o shots with her, too).

 

* * *

 

**  
** “Lincoln, there was no need for you to help me set up. I’m perfectly capable of bringing my things in on my own.” Lexa tells her friend, as he unpacks the food she brought with her and stores them in the cupboards for her.

“It was no trouble. What kind of friend would I be if I just sat in my home and watched you bring all of your bags in?” He replies, smiling at her as he grabs a glass and fills it with water for himself.

“Fine. But you certainly didn’t have to help me unpack everything.” Lexa says, moving to get a glass of water for herself. After filling her own cup, she moves to fill a bowl with water for Heda, who was probably just as thirsty as the other two. The dog laps greedily at the water and Lexa walks back over to help Lincoln unpack everything.

“I’m just trying to be helpful, that’s all. Things have been very quiet around here. It will be nice to have a friend next door. And you’re too short to reach these higher cupboards anyways.” Lincoln says with a smirk, walking over and squatting to pet Heda as she now licks lazily water. Lexa puts her hands on her hips in defiance and looks up at the cupboards.

“Lincoln, I am not that short.” She pauses to glare at him, and he tries to hide his smile as she does. Lexa softens again, before saying “But, it will be nice to have a friendly face here. Have you met any of the others in the area?” Lexa asks, taking a seat at one of the kitchen’s four stools. Lincoln moves to join her.

“Not yet, I have seen them, but only in passing.” He says, sitting down as he does. She nods, almost imperceivably.

“I take it that the lake has been relatively quiet these past few days, then?” She asks him, noting herself how quiet everything was when she first arrived.

“Yes. Not a lot of activity, but the weather’s been less than desirable, so I don’t blame anyone for wanting to stay inside these past few days.” He tells her. She turns slightly to look out the window. She can’t see much, but she can see the moon starting to peek through the trees, and waves of grey where it’s beginning to be reflected in the lake. She can make out a few stars as well and it relaxes her a little to think of how different this place is from New York. She turns back to Lincoln and says,

“Well, it’s beautiful out now. I think I’ll go out for a short walk with Heda before it’s too late. You’re welcome to join me if you want.”

“I’ll let you go on your own, so you can take in the lake for yourself. But I’ll see you soon.” He says, standing to walk towards the door.

“Mhm” She mumbles, grabbing Heda’s leash from the counter, “Thank you for your help Lincoln. Maybe tomorrow we can go for a walk and catch up. You can tell me about the area, and I can tell you how everything is in New York?”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Lexa.” He answers.

“Alright. See you tomorrow.” Lexa says with a wave, as Lincoln walks out the door. She walks up to Heda and clips her leash to her collar and grabs a baggie before walking out the door herself, with Heda in tow. She heads down the path towards the lake and sets out on a walk.

 

* * *

 

**  
** Lexa’s not sure who stops more on their walk, Heda or herself. It is truly beautiful here, and even in the moonlight, and there’s so much to take in. She smiles as she takes a deep breath in, savoring the fresh air and lack of smoke filling her lungs. She’s been here for less than an hour and somehow she already feels so much more relaxed than she was before. It doesn’t last long, as Heda pulls on the leash, ready to keep moving, and Lexa obliges, following Heda as she pulls her toward yet another tree to pee on.

She keeps an eye out for any neighbors that might be out on their walk back, but everyone seems to already be inside, settling in.

Having quiet neighbors is definitely something Lexa can get excited about. After living in a bustling city, it’s nice to get away to somewhere quiet and picturesque.

Maybe three months away from the city is exactly what she needs.

 

* * *

 

**  
** “Are you nervous?” Raven asks Clarke from her place on the couch. Evidently, Clarke doesn’t hear her. She’s sitting at the table staring down at her glass of wine like it’s invisible, or it might be anyways if she stares hard enough. “Hellooo? Clarke?” Raven calls out, snapping to get her attention. Clarke’s head snaps up at the sound.

“Huh? Sorry, Raven, what’d you say?” Clarke asks.

“I said are you nervous? You know- for your gallery opening?” Raven asks again.

“I don’t know.” It’s true, she doesn’t. Truthfully, Clarke spent a lot of the day thinking about hot neighbor girl, and doing whatever she could to put off thinking about her gallery opening tomorrow (and the fact that her mom wouldn’t be there for it). “I guess, maybe. I mean, it’s my first big gallery opening, all my friends will be there, it’s definitely intimidating. But I’m also excited for you guys to see it. I’m pretty proud of this stuff.” she says.

“And Abby will be there, and you can finally show her how great you are!” Raven encourages.

Clarke frowns. “Well, not exactly.” she says quietly

“What do you mean?” Raven asks, her wide eyed excitement for Clarke quickly fading.

“My mom isn’t coming. She texted me earlier saying the hospital needed someone to cover shifts and she won’t be able to make it.” Clarke tells her, looking down at the glass in her hands and toying with it to distract herself again.

“Clarke… I’m so sorry. That blows. She’s gonna come see it sometime, though, right?” Raven asks, getting up to sit at the table with Clarke, giving her the same worried look she always gives her when something happens with her mom. She hates that look. It makes her upset to think anyone pities her for having a shitty mom. Especially Raven. But if anyone deserves to give her this look, it’s Raven. Raven was there for her through every rough patch with her mother and understands just how unphased Clarke is by her mom’s unsupportive nature after so many years of facing it. Still, Clarke is irritated when she sees that sympathetic look, no matter how much good is meant by it.

“Yeah. Or, she says she is anyways. But she said she’d be there tomorrow, and look how that turned out.” She says, a serious bitter edge to her tone. She isn’t be surprised, at this point, not after everything she went through with her while at art school. She definitely doesn’t let herself be sad about it anymore. Not after all the excuses and the dismissals. No, now it just fuels a fire in her that wants to prove to her mother that she doesn’t need her help, or anything from her. That she is where she is because she’s strong and impassioned.

“Hey, come on, she’ll come. She has a whole summer’s worth of time. She can’t be busy for three and a half months straight. She’ll see how great you are, I know she will.” Raven assures Clarke, grabbing her hand on the table and giving it a small squeeze before standing. “I think I’m gonna head to bed now. You really should too, Clarke. You don’t wanna be too tired to hear the hours worth of praise you’re gonna get tomorrow.”

Clarke smiles at that before saying “Don’t worry, I’m just gonna finish this glass of wine and then head to bed myself.” Clarke says, feigning a smile for Raven’s sake.

“Alright. Night, Clarke.” Raven calls over her shoulder as she walks up the stairs.

“Night. And Raven?” Clarke calls back.

“Mhm” Raven murmurs.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” She tells her.

“Course I am.” Raven confirms, and Clarke shakes her head and laughs, waiting until she hears Raven shut her door before taking another sip of her wine.

“Tomorrow is gonna be an interesting day.” she muses quietly to herself as she finishes off the glass, allowing her thoughts to drift away from her mother and the gallery opening and slowly towards the new, hot neighbor girl.

(She really needed to learn her name, and soon).

 

* * *

 

**  
** The entirety of the next day is a blur for Clarke. It’s spent in a whirlwind of getting ready, fielding phone call and texts, both from the gallery with details on how the evening would go, and her friends telling her how excited they are and that they’ll be at her place afterwards, and staring out the window hoping for another glimpse of hot neighbor girl. She’d taken to calling her by Raven’s slightly-less-than-polite nickname when she thought of her, and feels a little bad about it, but Clarke thinks that at least it’s kind of a compliment so she’s not being too rude. Plus, it’s not like she’d ever call the girl that to her face.

She goes until mid-afternoon without seeing her, until suddenly, there she is, jogging down the path by the lake. She’s with the big, muscular guy from down the way again and they’re both sweaty and look exhausted, and Clarke can’t help but be a little mesmerised by the swing of the girl’s ponytail as she runs by. Clarke watches as the girl disappears just as quickly as she came. She barely has a second to think about her before she hears Raven calling her from upstairs, and she tears her eyes away from the spot where her neighbor has long since disappeared from to go see what Raven needs.

Whatever she needs, Clarke wonders how it could _possibly_ be important enough to take her away from thinking about how she’ll stage a run in with hot neighbor girl...

 

* * *

**  
**

By the time Lexa gets back from her run with Lincoln (because they decided the both needed to run anyways, so why not run rather than walk), it’s almost sunset. She contemplates staying outside to watch the sunset but decides that her need to shower far outweighs her desire to watch the sun set. She figures there’ll be plenty of chances to watch the sunset, anyways. Besides, she’s hot and sweaty and would rather not have to worry about any of her neighbors walking by and having their first impression of her be from meeting her post workout, covered in sweat, and probably smelling as awful as she looks. She heads inside, ready to take a nice cool shower and settle in afterwards to relax for another quiet evening alone.

 

* * *

 

**  
** Clarke looks up at the clock for what she assumes is the hundredth time in the past three hours. 9:57. Still an hour and a half left of her gallery opening. Everything had gone relatively well so far. Things were pretty slow for the first hour or so, with mostly elderly couples from the area coming in and out and congratulating her, but eventually her friends started trickling in and now she’s surrounded by people she knows. So much so that she hasn’t had a minute to herself. Thankfully, she thinks the majority of people here have already talked to her, and it looks like things might be quieting down for her, so she takes this opportunity to grab a glass of the champagne the gallery provided and head over to one of the more cleared out corners of the room. She stands there and looks around the room slowly, smiling when she gets to all of her friends, standing in front of one of her favorites, a painting of one of her chrysanthemums after a rain storm. She starts to walk towards them, when from behind her she hears a quiet “Excuse me?” and turns around.

It’s a little dark haired girl, smiling up at her with wide eyes. Clarke smiles, and replies “Yes?”

“My name’s Bella and I asked my mommy and she says you painted all these pretty flowers and I wanted to tell you that I really like them and I wanna be just like you when I grow up.” The little girl tells her, and Clarke’s smile widens.

“That’s very sweet of you, I’m so glad you like my paintings.” She tells her.

“My mommy says she’s gonna buy me lots of paintbrushes when we get home and I can paint all the flowers I want!” Bella tells her, looking over her shoulder to smile at a tall, dark haired woman, who smiles back at her and waves. Clarke’s chest tightens at the exchange, and her smile falters briefly, before the little girl turns back to her, smiling still, and Clarke quickly goes right back to smiling.

“Maybe some day I’ll see your flower paintings in a place like this some day.” Clarke tells her, and the girls eyes widen. She can’t help but hope this little girl never loses her reason to smile.

“Do you really think I could?” Bella asks her, almost bouncing with excitement. Clarke squats down, to be level with Bella, before saying,

“Of course I do! I was your age when I started and here I am now. You just gotta keep painting.” Clarke tells her.

“Wow, I can’t wait to have paintings in a big room like this.” Bella says, and before Clarke can stand up she grabs her for a hug. Clarke briefly hugs the girl back before standing up. “Thank you very much for talking to me. I’m gonna go home and paint a hundred flowers now!” Bella says, and Clarke laughs.

“Well good luck, Bella. I’m Clarke by the way. Tell your mom that if you ever have paintings in a place like this that I’d love to come see them.” Clarke says.

“Really?! This is awesome! MOMMY-” Bella yells, before running off to her mother. Clarke watches as Bella’s mother smiles, and Clarke assumes the little girl tells her mom all about what Clarke has told her. Bella grabs her mothers hand and Bella practically drags the woman over to Clarke.  

“Mommy this is Clarke. Clarke, this is my mommy.” Bella says, looking proudly back and forth between the two women.

Bella’s mother extends her hand, smiling and says, “I’m Amy Pearson, nice to meet the artist behind all these paintings my daughter has been raving about.”

Clarke shakes her hand and says, “Clarke Griffin. I’m glad she likes my paintings. I just told her I hope to see her in a gallery of her own some day.” With that she smiles down at Bella who grins widely back at her.

“I’m gonna paint lotsa flowers, mommy. Just like Clarke does!” Bella tells her, and her mother’s smiles down at her as well.

“I know you are, sweetie.” She tells Bella, before looking back to Clarke and saying, “Thank you so much for talking to her, you have no idea how much it means to her”.

“It was no problem at all. Always glad to talk to a budding artist.” Clarke says.

“Well, your gallery is lovely, I’m glad we came to see it. It was nice meeting you.” Amy tells her and Clarke smiles.

“Great meeting you both. I look forward to seeing you at Bella’s first gallery opening soon!” Clarke says, and Amy laughs. Bella just beams at her as her mom starts to leave.

“Bye Clarke!” Bella says, waving goodbye to her as she catches up with her mom and the two walk towards the door.

Clarke lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding in and finally lets her mind drift to her own mother. Her mother, who couldn’t have let anyone else cover for her tonight so she could go to her own daughter’s gallery opening. Her mother, who leaves behind her a trail of broken promises and lonely nights. Her mother, who didn’t even come to her own graduation because she wanted so much more for her daughter and Clarke didn’t give it to her.

She hates that she’s letting this ruin her night. She’s standing in a gallery filled with her own paintings, surrounded by all of her friends, and a little girl just told her she was _inspired_ by her; yet, here she is, standing alone, feeling sorry for herself.

She looks up at the clock again. 10:23. Still an hour until she can go home, change into something that isn’t this tight, dark dress and these heels that make her feet feel like they’re on fire, and celebrate this night with all her friends.

Clarke downs the rest of her glass of champagne with ease, and scans the room for her friends. She figures it’ll be easier to pass the last hour of the gallery opening if she has them to keep her mind occupied.

Anything’s better than standing alone, thinking about her mother.

 

* * *

 

**  
** Lexa’s half asleep on her couch, her worn out copy of Slaughterhouse Five resting gently on her chest as she mindlessly pets Heda who’s lying in her lap, when she hears a door slam and a loud cheer from next door. Suddenly, the sound of a loud bass and some vaguely poppy beat floods her ears, and she wrinkles her nose. Heda’s head snaps up and she runs towards the source of the sound, while Lexa looks up at her clock.

12:13. She’s pretty sure at this point last night, everyone, including herself, was already asleep. She picks up her glass of wine and walks over to the window, where Heda’s standing on two legs, trying to get out and attack the source herself.

“Heda, down.” She tells the dog, and Heda jumps down and sits at Lexa’s feet. Lexa looks out the window. She scans the house for an open curtain, something that could indicate why all of the sudden, at 12:13, her neighbors decided to throw a goddamn party. All Lexa sees is about 10 or so cars lining her neighbor’s driveway, and a few people standing outside, laughing and smoking.

Lexa rolls her eyes in disdain and walks back to her couch. She sits down with a heavy sigh. Of course the quiet couldn’t have lasted more than one day, it had to be broken. And it couldn’t have been earlier in the evening, when any sensible person would have a party, but instead, had to start at 12 fucking 13 in the morning. It’s just Lexa’s luck that her neighbor, who she thought was another quiet, civil tennant, is actual some likely college-aged, perpetually stoned party guy who’s up here to get wasted all summer with all his friends.

_‘Whatever.’_ Lexa thinks, _‘I’m sure it wont last long, it will die out eventually.’_ She tells herself. Heda hops up on the couch and Lexa resumes petting her. She grabs her phone and earbuds and decides to try and drown out the screams and horrible music from next door until they die out. She opts for her most peaceful playlist, puts her earbuds in and presses play.

Under normal circumstances, Lexa would go over there and tell them to quiet down, but she doesn’t. She figures that if her life had gone differently, that’s the exact kind of thing she’d love to do for the summer.

But her life was ruled by her intense drive, and she’s been working nonstop since sixteen, with no time for a rebellious, party phase. Which Lexa is fine with. She has the thing she’s wanted ever since she was 12 and doesn’t like to dwell much on what her life would be like if things had gone differently.

She is where she is, and nothing could change that.

She closes her eyes and hopes that soon, she’ll stop hearing other music as an undertone to her own.

 

* * *

 

**  
** 2:54. It’s 2:54 in the morning. 2:54 in the morning and her fucking neighbor’s party is still in full swing. At this point, Lexa think’s she’s had just about enough of the cheers and the bass and whatever else is happening next door. Heda’s clearly on the same page, because she’s back at the window, trying to escape again, and this time, Lexa doesn’t even bother to tell her to get down. Maybe she should just let her go attack them, to send a message. She is part wolf, afterall.

Deciding that’s probably not the best plan, she stands and throws on a cardigan over her tank top and marches out the door.

Enough is enough, she’s gonna give her stupid, party animal neighbor a piece of her mind.

**  
** Bellamy takes another sip of his beer, leaning up against the wall and looking around the room for people he knows. Honestly, how many fucking people did Clarke invite? He’s never seen over half the people, and guesses that if he hasn’t, neither has Clarke. He spots Monty and Jasper, sitting in the corner with a bunch of people he’s never seen before and passing around a blunt. He’s not even a little surprised.

He looks for Raven, and catches a glimpse of her hair at the top of the stairs as she leads some greasy looking college kid down the hall, and quickly moves his attention somewhere else.

He notices a kind of intense looking girls standing by the door, looking a little shell-shocked, and decides to go introduce himself. As he walks towards her, he sees her eyes narrow and she walks over to him very pointedly.

“Hey!” She shouts over the music, and Bellamy wonders what he could have done to inspire this girl’s murderous death glare, “Do you live here?” She asks, eyes still narrowed, and honestly, Bellamy’s a little afraid of her, despite the fact that he has a couple inches on her.

“No.” He tells her, and she softens ever slightly. Bellamy relaxes a little too, guessing that whatever problem she has is not with him.

“Oh, well can you show me the guy who does?” She asks, scanning the room behind you, as if to try and figure that out for herself.

“Ah, that’d be Clarke and Raven, although Raven just brought some guy upstairs so I’m pretty sure she might be a little preoccupied. As for Clarke, well…” Bellamy trails off, looking around the room for Clarke. She’s nowhere to be seen, but he can hear the sounds of cheering from the other room, and knows that’s where she’ll be. “I think you’ll find Clarke in the other room, follow me.” He says, leading her into the next room over. He spots her blonde hair in the crowd and smiles “Ah, there she is.” He tells the girl, gesturing towards the brief bob of Clarke’s head over the others in the circle, and her eyes widen briefly again, before she narrows them and mumbles a quick “Thanks.” before straightening herself out, holding herself in a way that Bellamy assumes really should only belong to someone in the royal family, and walking quickly off in Clarke’s direction.

Bellamy shakes his head and laughs as he pictures this girl trying to stare Clarke down. Picking a fight with that girl is like trying to fight the sun for shining. “Good luck with that one.” he says, more to himself than the girl who’s quickly disappearing into the circle of people around Clarke, tipping his beer in her direction before taking another sip and walking back into the other room.

 

* * *

 

Lexa was surprised, to say the least, when the dark haired guy she talked to wasn’t the house owner, and even more surprised to find out that the house owners are in fact two girls. Not that she thinks girls don’t party, just, well, it just seems like such a teenage boy thing to do. Nonetheless, Lexa is still determined to tell the owner of this house that she needs to quiet down soon, or she’ll file some kind of noise complaint.

Lexa walks determinedly towards the crowd of people, and searches for the blonde hair belonging to her neighbor that seems to have disappeared.

As she gets closer, she notices that the blonde haired girl is straddling some brunette girl. She watches as the blonde, Clarke, pulls the hair our of her face, and someone pours a line of salt down the brunette’s stomach, and fills her belly button with what seems to be tequila, and the brunette puts a slice of lime between her lips, ready to be bit into after the shot. Lexa watches as her neighbor licks the salt off of the other girl’s toned stomach slowly, and does the same to the alcohol, making sure to leave no trace of it anywhere on the girl’s stomach. Once that’s done, she watches the Clarke move up to pluck the lime from the other girl’s lips and almost teasingly climb off her, greeted by the cheers of all the people watching. Clarke stands there, sucking smugly on the lime, widening her eyes and raising her eyebrows as if to challenge everyone around her, and Lexa suddenly remembers why she’s there.

She storms up to Clarke, who’s now turned back towards the brunette, and taps her on the shoulder. She whips around and Lexa’s about to speak when she pops the lime out of her mouth, smiling. Lexa’s breath hitches at how beautiful the girl looks, and she stares briefly at her lips, before looking her in the eyes, trying to pull herself back together.

“Hey! Neighbor girl!” Clarke says to her, her face lighting up with a smile, and Lexa furrows her brow in confusion.

“What?” She asks her. She’s never seen this girl before, and somehow she knows who she is? Lexa tries to think if maybe she’d seen her while out with Lincoln or something, but she’s sure she’d remember this girl.

“You’re the girl from next door. I saw you moving in yesterday with that quiet, muscley tattoo guy from down the way.” The girl slurs a little, smiling all the same. “You’re very pretty.” She tells her, her bright blue eyes practically sparkling, her gaze confident and almost challenging. Lexa’s taken aback, because there’s no way that this girl would ever say that to her unless she was very drunk. “I’m Clarke, by the way”.

“I know, your floppy haired friend told me,” Lexa tells her, then says, “I’m Lexa”.

“Mm, Lexa. Well, _Lexa_ , they all have floppy hair, so that’s not fair.” Clarke says, pouting a little. “You, however, do not have floppy hair. Unless you’re running, then I guess it flops. But it’s a pretty flop” She tells her.

“Right...” Lexa says, a little confused by what the other girl means. Clarke is definitely very drunk, or at least she would have to be to say what she’s saying to Lexa. She’s also kind of flirting with her. And very attractive. She takes a second to let her eyes scan Clarke’s figure. She’s wearing black, and a fairly low cut white shirt, and a leather jacket (despite the fact that it’s probably just a little too hot for that). Her hair has fallen back to messily frame her face from having pulled it back to take the body shot. Lexa gulps as that image flashes through her mind yet again, and she finds herself staring at Clarke’s lips a little. She realizes she realizes what she’s doing as Clarke clears her throat. Lexa feels her face flooding with heat and she’s definitely a little embarrassed. She can’t believe she just let herself be that obvious. Clarke is drunk, not blind.

“Not that I mind you staring at all, cuz I really don’t, but you seemed like you had-” But she doesn’t get a chance to finish before the two hear a loud crash and turn around to see a lamp on the ground, completely shattered. With that, Lexa remembers why she was here in the first place again, and turns back to Clarke with what she thinks is her best death glare, which Clarke is evidently unphased by. She just stands in front of her, lips pursed almost smugly and eyebrow quirked in amusement (at what, Lexa is unsure).

“Oh, right. Hey, the reason I came over here is to tell you that your party is loud. Really really loud, and it is quite late. I would kind of enjoy a few hours of sleep, and I am sure our other neighbors would appreciate the same thing. So, seeing as it’s almost 3:30, I wanted to come and tell you that you need to quiet all of this down soon. I assume that other people on the lake might work and you’re keeping them up till all hours of the night with your incessant partying.” Lexa finishes, crossing her arms and staring at her, trying to understand why Clarke still looks so amused.

“Oh, come on. We’re clearly celebrating! I just had my very own gallery opening, and all my friends are here to celebrate. Lighten up a little, not all people are chiefs of no fun like you are!” Clarke says, refusing to back down. Lexa tries to intimidate her, but this girl won’t back down.

Lexa scowls and says “Well, if you don’t quiet down soon, I’ll have to file a noise complaint, and I really don’t think you want that”.

She watches as Clarke looks around the room, eyeing the surely underaged college students, and whatever illegal things are happening in that weird circle on the couch, before looking back at Lexa and frowning. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll take care of it. You can go back to being boring and quiet next door, now.” Clarke tells her, turning to walk away, but not before saying a short “Goodbye, Lexa.” over her shoulder, and moving to whisper something in the ear of one of her friends.

Her friend frowns at first, before looking over at Lexa and nodding, then smiling again as he walks away from Clarke.

Feeling slightly irritated, Lexa makes her way towards the door to leave, but not before stealing one more look at Clarke, who’s staring right back at her, with a mischievous expression on her face. Lexa tries to maintain a glare, but her face softens when Clarke waves at her, smirking. Lexa nods slightly, the smallest of smiles tugging at the corners of her lips, before turning away and leaving, her face returning to it’s neutral resting place.

Once outside, Lexa lets the last half hour or whatever it was play out in her mind, before shaking her head in confusion, and walking to her own home. Once inside, she walks up the stairs and lays down on her bed, not bothering to change. She stares out the window at the lake, and tries to get her mind off of her neighbor, but something about her has Lexa intrigued.

As tired as Lexa is, she can’t help but smile when she thinks about the fact that she has won this small battle, and that she had at least scared her neighbor into thinking that she wasn’t afraid to call the cops on her for being loud. Serves her right for throwing a party so obscenely late, anyways. And on a Thursday, too.

Lexa listens for the sound of music and cheering, but instead is finally met with silence. She’s finally able to relax, and she closes her eyes and slowly allows herself to fall asleep.

(At least she doesn’t have to worry about leaving her neighbor with a bad first impression anymore).

 

* * *

 

It took about a half hour for everyone to clear out of her house, and once they had, Clarke looked around at how much of a mess everyone had made, before deciding that she was most definitely too drunk to even try to clean it up.

She hadn’t wanted to end the party, and wouldn’t have if her grumpy (but still hot) neighbor hadn’t threatened to call the cops.

The only bonus to having to shut the party down is that she learned the girl’s name. Lexa. She smiles to herself, remembering how flustered Lexa had been when they’d first met. Clarke feels a little bad for keeping Lexa up, but at the same time, she really needed tonight, and she barely knows the girl, so she pushes her guilt aside.

Still, Clarke thinks she should maybe find a way to apologize for keeping the girl up, just so she’s not on her bad side or anything.

Besides, Clarke still wants to prove Raven wrong and do that jell-o shot with Lexa, so she obviously has to keep talking to her somehow.

**  
** The next morning, Lexa wakes to the sound of Heda barking, and rolls over to look at her clock. 7:32. She usually wakes up about an hour earlier than this to take her for a walk. She sits up and cracks her back before getting out of bed and shuffling across the room to the hallway and walking down the stairs. She slept in her clothes last night, so she doesn’t bother to change, only running a hand briefly through her hair in the mirror to fix it before grabbing Heda’s leash and attaching it to her collar. She opens the door and goes to walk out of it before she notices a small bunch of flowers sitting on her top step. She bends over to pick them up, and notices a note attached.

She opens it and reads,

 

_ Commander Serious, _

_ Sorry for keeping you up last night. _

_ Please accept these flowers as a peace offering. _

_ Clarke _

_ P.S: You don’t have to crash the next one with the ridiculous claim of ‘calling the cops’ as your excuse. You’re more than welcome to just come and have fun. _

 

Lexa feels the tug of a smile at the corner of her lips, but sneezes before she has the chance.

She walks back inside and puts the flowers down on her table with a small smile.

She sneezes again as she walks out the door.

(She doesn’t stop sneezing for the entirety of her walk.

Thankfully, she remembered to pack her allergy medicine.)

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two, or the one where Lexa sneezes a lot and Clarke is a lady killer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feel free to follow me @ clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com for general updates and the occasional liveblogging of my writing.
> 
> also thanks to everyone who read chapter 1 and left comments and kudos and everything. I haven't stopped blushing for days. you're all amazing. I'm going to try and update this every couple of days, really as often as possible. you rock.
> 
> warnings: drugs and alcohol

Chapter 2

* * *

 

 

When Clarke gets home from her walk the next morning, she’s surprised to find Raven, awake and sitting at their kitchen table. The night after a big party, she usually doesn’t get up until at least noon, and from what Clarke heard late last night, she’s surprised Raven’s even up while it’s still daylight out.

 

However, she definitely isn’t surprised that she’s sitting there with her head in her hands, groaning quietly at the sound of the door closing.

 

“Good morning!” Clarke says in her most chipper voice. She knows she’s being an asshole, because she almost never gets hangovers and Raven almost always does, but she loves teasing her.

 

“Fuck you.” Raven says, letting her head drop onto the table, and Clarke smiles triumphantly. 

 

“You were up pretty late last night, I’m surprised you’re up and walking before noon.” Clarke tells her, and Raven lifts her head up slightly, eyes narrowed, trying to gauge just what Clarke meant by that. Clarke smirks at her and Raven lets out a long sigh.

 

“Yeah, well, whatever. I’m not gonna apologize for getting laid.” Raven says, and Clarke smiles. Raven is nothing if not comfortable with herself. She does what she does and never makes excuses or apologizes for it. It’s one of the reasons they get along so well, and are such good friends. That, and the fact that they were forced to be roommates in college by her mother. Clarke’s glad for that though. She doesn’t know where she’d be without Raven. 

 

“Speaking of apologies, guess who I met last night?” Clarke says, with a mischievous smile. Raven sits up slowly and eyes Clarke.

 

“Who?” She asks, and Clarke almost feels a little cocky saying it.

 

“Hot neighbor girl. Her name’s Lexa.” She tells Raven, and her eyes widen in disbelief.

 

“No way. Did you guys do jell-o shots or what?” Raven asks her, and Clarke deflates a little.

 

“Not exactly. She actually came over to tell us to keep it down.” Clarke tells Raven, who then laughs loudly at her, but winces at the sound. 

 

“Told ya she was a killjoy.” Raven says smugly, looking at Clarke who stares back at her, refusing to indulge Raven’s ego.

 

“I dunno. It was pretty late.” Clarke says, and Raven rolls her eyes.

 

“Oh Clarke, come on! She looks like she’s our age! If she was normal, she woulda just come and joined in on the party. She’s a grade A grinch.” Raven says, and Clarke figures that Raven won’t let up, so she doesn’t bother arguing further.

 

“Whatever, I sent her some flowers and a note as an apology, inviting her to then next one, or whatever.” Clarke tells Raven, who stares at her like she’s grown a third head. Clarke moves to the fridge to grab an apple, or something to eat.

 

“You brought her flowers? You, Clarke Griffin, apologized for throwing a party? I can not believe you. You’re pining for hot neighbor girl!” Raven says, and Clarke turns over her shoulder and stares at her indignantly. 

 

“I am not, I just felt bad is all. We kept her up late, so I apologized for that. Technically I never apologized for having the party. It’s no big deal, really.” Clarke says, and Raven shakes her head. Clarke feels her face flush and goes back to looking for something to eat and grabs an apple.

 

“Whatever you say, Griffin.” She laughs, and Clarke shuts the door to the fridge loudly, the sound of bottles causing Raven to wince and Clarke turns around with an insincere “Oops.” before taking a bite of her apple and walking off towards the stairs to go take a shower.

 

She was _not_ pining for neighbor girl, Lexa, whatever. She still just wanted to prove Raven wrong, pure and simple as that.

 

Clarke Griffin was not one to back down from a challenge, and this sure as hell felt like one to her.

 

* * *

 

 

“I still don’t understand why you insist on keeping them here.” Lincoln says, as Lexa sneezes for what is possibly the hundredth time in ten minutes.

 

“It was a nice gesture, the least I can do is keep them.” Lexa says, sneezing yet again. Lincoln looks at her like he’s questioning her sanity, and Lexa holds a glare as best she can until her start to water and she has to grab a tissue to wipe the tears away.

 

“I could understand that, were you not allergic to them. At this point, they are no longer a ‘nice gesture’ and more of a burden.” He tells her, and she looks at him with her eyes still watering. 

 

“I am fine, I just need to take my allergy medicine. You worry too much, Lincoln.” She tells him, making her way towards the bathroom to grab another allergy tablet, thinking that perhaps this is one of those situations where she needs two instead of just one to make the symptoms subside.

 

“I’m not worried, just confused as to why you submit yourself to constant sneezing out of politeness.” He shouts to her. Lexa looks at herself briefly in the mirror. She looks like shit, and she knows that all of this would be solved if she just found a place outside to keep the flowers, but they’re a peace offering, of some kind, and would feel guilty just throwing them out after Clarke went through the trouble of apologizing. Even if it really was her fault in the first place, and she _should_ be apologizing. Plus, they really are pretty.

 

She sniffles, and fills a cup of water in her bathroom sink, swallowing the pill and then chasing it with water. She walks out of the room back towards where Lincoln sits on her couch, and sits next to him.

 

“It feels wrong to just toss them out. I won’t keep them for long, eventually they’ll wilt and I’ll throw them out, but the least I can do is keep them here for a few days.” Lexa says. She sneezes again, and at that, Lincoln stands up.

 

“Well, as much as I enjoyed our run, and our time together, the sneezing is getting to be incessant, so I think I will head home now.” He tells her, and she nods.

 

“Alright, same time tomorrow?” Lexa asks. 

 

“If you want, yes. Hopefully by then you will have stopped sneezing.” He tells her, and she glares a little at him.

 

“Goodbye, Lincoln.” She tells him. He smiles, and walks out the door, throwing a quick “See you tomorrow.” over his shoulder. 

 

Lexa gets up and walks over to Heda, who is eagerly waiting by the door. Lexa usually would have taken her for a walk an hour ago, but her run with Lincoln was a little longer than expected. She grabs her leash off the hook here it hangs and attaches it to her collar. She grabs a baggie as well before walking out the door. She sneezes once more, before shutting it behind her, hoping that maybe the fresh air will help with her sneezes. 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa is well into her walk, when she sees the boy from Clarke’s house and some dark haired girl standing up ahead by the lake. She briefly considers turning around before they see her, but he notices her and waves. She gives him a nod and continues to walk towards him, bracing herself for mindless small talk.

 

“Hey, you’re that girl who was looking for Clarke last night, right? Don’t believe I got your name.” He says, and Lexa wonders briefly why he wants to have a conversation with her.

 

“You didn’t, that’s right.” She tells him. Normally she wouldn’t be this rude, but she really has no interest in talking to this boy whatsoever. 

 

“Right, well I’m Bellamy, and this is my little sister, Octavia.” He says, pointing over his shoulder at the brunette girl who is making her way to stand next to him. Heda seems to take interest in the girl, as she pulls Lexa forward and sniffs at her feet, before nudging her a little, clearly looking for attention. Shelling down a little, patting Heda on the head, but makes eye contact with Lexa.

 

“Hi. You’re friends with that guy from down the way, right? I saw you both running together this morning.” She says and Lexa nods at her in acknowledgement.

 

“Lincoln, yes. He’s a good friend of mine. I’m Lexa.” She wonders briefly why she’s bothering with formalities when she really could care less, but it’s short-lived, as Bellamy clearly has more to say and continues to talk. 

 

“Did you ever get what you wanted from Clarke?” He asks her. Lexa briefly remembers her slightly less than conventional introduction to Clarke, and her early alcohol induced flirtation, and her embarrassment as Clarke called her out for staring. She can feel the heat creeping back onto her cheeks and blinks away the memory, before speaking.

 

“Yes, I asked her to keep it down. It was three in the morning and I was trying to sleep.” She tells him, and scoffs.

 

“Well someone’s a spoilsport.” He says, and Lexa glares at him. For someone she’s just meeting, he seems to be very comfortable being rude.

 

“Whatever, you might’ve been able to convince her to quiet down, but I think it’ll be a little harder to convince us to quiet down tonight. I really don’t like being told no.” The girl, Octavia, says, defiant of Lexa’s glare, and Bellamy turns to give her a look, at which the girl just shrugs and he huffs angrily in response.

 

“You’re throwing another party tonight? That seems excessive.” Lexa says, looking down at Heda, who has clearly now taken interest in getting Bellamy’s attention. He squats down and indulges, petting Heda as she wags her tail happily. She likes him.

 

That makes one of them.

 

“Of course we are, it’s summer. We’re all here to have a good time and chill out.” Octavia tells her, and Lexa sighs as she thinks of yet another sleepless night at the hands of her boisterous neighbors. 

 

“Well, I hope you have a nice night then. I should be going now, goodbye.” Lexa says. She figures she’s filled her quota for small talk, and she’s not interested in sticking around to chat. She turns around and starts on her walk back.

 

“Bye?” Octavia says, a hint of questioning in her voice, but Lexa just continues on her walk home. She wonders how late this party will go, and prepares herself for another long night.

 

On one hand, though, Clarke said she was welcome at their next gathering. Perhaps she should go, and try and get herself back in the girl’s good graces in hopes that she doesn’t permanently think she’s ‘Commander Grumpy’. It couldn’t hurt to just stop by, right?

 

On the other hand, it is in no way Lexa’s usual scene. She’d never been to a party like the one at Clarke’s home last night, and honestly preferred to sit at home alone with a book and a glass of wine, or go with Anya to the quiet cafe down their street and have a drink or two. Downing shot after shot under the guise of “having a good time” was never something Lexa had done. She was always in control, and liked it that way. 

 

Something about Clarke’s invitation has her interested, although she’s not sure what. If she does go, maybe she can bring Lincoln along so she doesn’t end up standing in the corner alone, regretting her decision.

 

She decides she’ll bring Heda home and ask Lincoln if he’d like to come with her to the neighbor’s party, not sure whether she wants him to turn down the invitation or accept it.

 

(She thinks maybe she might like to do something new for once, even at the risk of losing a little control.)

 

* * *

 

 

“Clarke! CLARKE WHERE ARE YOU?” Octavia’s voice rings out through her house.

 

“I’m on the back porch with Monty.” Clarke calls back to her, handing Monty the piece in her hand. The sound of Octavia running through the house can be heard and Clarke laughs as Octavia bursts out onto the porch, slightly out of breath. “Woah, O, what’s up? Why do you look like you just ran a marathon?” Clarke asks her, taking in her sweaty face and sweat stained shirt.

 

“Just ran from home. I have news! Also, hey Monty.” Octavia says, smiling at their friend. He smiles back, exhaling a stream of smoke.

 

“Hey Octavia. I’d hug you but you’re looking a little gross.” He says, and Octavia smacks him on the shoulder.

 

“Shut up, asshole. Do you wanna hear my news or not?” She asks and they both nod in encouragement. “I was hanging out with Bell by the lake and we ran into your intense neighbor Lexa, who, by the way, is kinda a bitch. Anyways, I asked her about the guy she’s always with and she says his name is Lincoln. So now quiet muscular guy has a name.” She says, finally taking a seat at one of the other chairs on the porch. Monty offers her the piece and she accepts, taking a long hit, before exhaling the smoke with a sigh, passing the piece to Clarke, who does the same, exhaling the smoke through her nose and passing the piece on to Monty, starting their rotation over again.

 

“A true miracle. You finally learned the name of the guy you’ve been creeping on since the minute he got here.” Clarke says, and Octavia huffs.

 

“Fuck you, I have not been creeping on him.” Octavia says, and Monty laughs, coughing ever slightly on the smoke he’s exhaling.

 

“Octavia, you literally watch him work out from your window, what part of that isn’t creepy?” He asks and Clarke watches as a very obvious blush makes it’s way on to Octavia’s cheeks. Clarke smiles at that. Octavia gets so easily flustered and it’s fun to watch.

 

“I do not. And, I know his name now, so it’s not like he’s just some stranger.” She says, and Clarke rolls her eyes.

 

“Yes, now it’s not creepy, you’re right. Now it’s stalker-like.” Clarke says and Octavia pouts.

 

“Whatever, you guys are no fun.” Octavia says, and takes another long hit, before saying, “Plus, I mentioned to Lexa we’re having a party tonight, so maybe she’ll come and bring him.”

 

“You invited the girl who tried to shut down our last party? Why would you want her there?” Monty asks. 

 

“I didn’t invite her explicitly. Plus, I doubt she’ll come, she still seemed pretty pissed about last night.” Octavia tells them,

 

“Well, I apologized, so I don’t see why she’s still pissed. It’s just a party. She’s at a lake house, people are on vacation, what does she expect?” Clarke says.

 

“Dunno but she’s definitely not your average twenty-something here for summer vacation to party it up, that’s for sure. Even if we did invite her, I’m sure she’d stand in the corner the whole time and leave early.” Octavia says, making Monty and Clarke laugh a little.

 

“Well, technically, I did invite her.” Clarke says, and Octavia stares at her.

 

“You did? When?” Monty asks.

 

“Around the same time I apologized to her. I gave her a note, and it said sorry and that she should come next time instead of being boring.” Clarke says, picking up the piece from where it was resting and lighting it again, taking a long, slow inhale and letting it out slowly, bracing herself for the less than polite opinions her friends were bound to have.

 

“Seriously? A note? What kind of person leaves a note for their neighbor?” Octavia asks, and Clarke is about to answer, when a voice from the doorway says,

 

“The kind of person who also leaves flowers for their neighbor.” The three look up to see Raven, freshly showered, looking at Clarke challengingly. Clarke feels her cheeks heat up again as the other two shift their attention to Clarke, looking for an explanation.

 

“Bitch.” Clarke says under her breath, and Raven punches her shoulder playfully, before Clarke looks around at the others who still clearly need an explanation. “It was a peace offering. I thought it would be nice.” Clarke explains sheepishly, and the others just stare at her. “Whatever, you guys, I was just trying to be the bigger person, okay?”

 

“Looks like I’m not the only creepy one, I guess.” Octavia says, and Clarke glares.

 

“I’m not being creepy, just neighborly.” She says, looking for any possible way to change the subject.

 

“Whatever you say Clarke. So, are you guys gonna invite me to join this little circle you have going, or am I just gonna have to stand here and watch as Clarke slowly turns into a tomato?” Raven says, only making Clarke’s blush spread further across her face.

 

Monty pats the seat next to him and Raven moves to sit down between him and Clarke, plucking the piece out of Clarke’s hand and lighting it for herself. Clarke wonders just why she feels so weird about the flowers, after all, it was just a neighborly gesture. For her neighbor. Her hot neighbor…

 

She shakes her head, and decides it’s time for her to deflect the conversation away from herself.

 

“Raven, are you gonna come to Octavia’s tonight, or are you too tired out from last night?” Clarke says with a smirk, and Raven laughs. It’s low hanging fruit, but Clarke knows it’ll take the focus off of herself, at least for a little bit.

 

“Since when has getting laid stopped me from going out and doing it again the next night, Clarke. Come on.” She says and they all laugh. Clarke breathes a small sigh of relief, and half-listens as Raven talks all about the guy from last night, all the while wondering if Lexa will actually accept her invitation and show up tonight.

 

(She certainly hopes she does.)

 

* * *

 

 

It’s 9:28 and Lexa’s been getting ready for a little under an hour. 

 

After returning home with Heda, she had texted Lincoln asking about the party. She was originally going to have the conversation face to face, as she’s never been a big fan of texting, but then she had sat down on her couch, and realized just how tired she was, so she opted for texting instead. They had weighed the pros and cons (though, it was mostly Lexa who came up with cons) and talked about whether or not it would be weird for them to show up (Lexa still seriously thinks people would recognize her as the girl who stormed Clarke’s party last night). Ultimately, they agreed to go, and if one felt uncomfortable, they would leave together, making up some excuse about needing sleep or Heda, or whatever else they could think of. In reality, it ended up being Lincoln who wanted to go more than Lexa. Apparently Octavia is also the girl who Lincoln had mentioned several times on their runs, so Lexa had (somewhat) reluctantly agreed to go with him, and maybe introduce them. After deciding on this, Lexa had taken a rather lengthy nap, followed by a nice shower, and made herself a salad for dinner. By the time all this was finished, Lexa figured she should start to get ready.

 

And that is why Lexa is standing in her bathroom at 9:28 PM, still not ready to go out after an hour of getting dressed. Or trying to. It turns out, Lexa isn’t really sure what to wear. She’s never been to a party like this, but she knows to dress casually. She gave up on figuring out what to wear around 9, and moved on to makeup, spending more time than she’d care to admit on it. She figures that she really needs to figure out what to wear soon. She can’t very well show up in her underwear and a robe. 

 

She’s truly starting to regret her decision to go out at this point.

 

She goes to dig through her closet again, hoping to find something that’s at least mildly interesting. She opts for a simple pair of denim shorts and loose black, v-neck t-shirt. She figures it’s very casual, even a little boring, but she’ll still look relatively nice in it. She throws on a long necklace and a simple silver bracelet, just so she looks a little less plain, before sending a text to Lincoln to let him know she’s ready.

 

It’s closer to 9:45 and she know’s the party has started by the fact that she’s consistently heard a loud baseline for the past half hour or so. 

 

She puts on a pair of socks and her black converse, and sits down, petting Heda while she quietly waits for Lincoln to come over so they can walk over to Octavia’s.

 

She tries to ignore the nerves she feels, chocking them entirely up to the fact that she’s going to be in a room full of people who are essentially strangers tonight, and she’s not really sure how she feels about that.

 

She hopes that Lincoln comes over soon, so that isn’t left alone with her thoughts much longer, and waits patiently until he does.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke turns her phone on again to check the time. It’s almost 10 o’clock and she’s yet to see Lexa. At this point, she’s honestly thinking the girl decided not to come.

 

Which Clarke understands. She realizes everyone here is pretty much a stranger to Lexa. She’d only met three of them, and those conversations hadn’t exactly been enough to start a friendship.

 

This doesn’t stop her from scanning the room again, to see if maybe Lexa had come in while she was talking to Octavia a few minutes ago.

 

Still a no-go.

 

At this point, Clarke’s thinking of giving up on waiting for her neighbor and trying to make a better impression on her. She figures that after an hour, she’s not very likely to show up.

 

Honestly, Clarke’s starting to get bored. She’s only had one drink, which isn’t like her at all. She looks around one last time for Lexa, before sighing and walking over to the table where Octavia has put out the alcohol. She grabs the bottle of tequila (her personal favorite) and pours herself three shots. She knows how to handle her liquor well, so she knows that her limit for now is three, which she notes is more than most people can handle. She cuts a wedge of lime, and sprinkles some salt on her hand. She licks it off, then takes the three shots with no pause in between, feeling them burn in her throat as she swallows. She loves tequila, but it’s definitely not gentle. Once she’s downed the third shot, she bites into the lime, and the sour flavor replaces the bitter taste the tequila left in her mouth. She can feel the alcohol warming her body and she turns around to survey the party. The music tonight is full of bass, and people are really using that to their advantage.

 

She sees a large group of people dancing close together. It’s sweaty, and everyone is dancing on everyone and it’s everything Clarke loves in a party. She sees a pretty girl with brown hair who she thinks she recognizes, and decides to go dance with her. Clarke smiles at the girl when she walks over, and the girl smiles back, her pupils already dilated from the closeness of the dancing she’s been doing. Clarke moves into the crowd, so that she’s in between this girl and someone else to whom Clarke is paying no attention whatsoever, despite their clear attempts to get her to do so.

 

She’s already set her mind to dancing with the brunette, and once she sets her mind to something, she commits.

 

Clarke shifts closer to the brunette, putting her hands on the girls hips, and she hears the girl inhale sharply. Clarke pulls the girl in closer, moving her hips in rhythm with the other girl, as the girl grabs Clarke’s hands with her own, leaning her back into Clarke’s chest. The girl leans her head back onto Clarke’s shoulder, leaving her neck exposed, and Clarke wastes no time in moving to suck gently on her pulse point, causing the girl to grip Clarke’s hands tightly and Clarke smirks. She goes back to focusing on the rhythm of her hips, moving them in time with the bass of the song playing, which she thinks is by the Weekend, but honestly she doesn’t care too much about that right now.

 

Clearly the girl isn’t fully satisfied with their current arrangement, as she turns around and wraps her arms around Clarke’s neck, pulling Clarke even closer. Clarke keeps her hands on the girl’s hips and continues to move them to the music, looking into the girl’s eyes to see her own effect on her.

 

She looks up at Clarke from under heavy lids, pupils impossibly large, and mouth open. Clarke takes this as a sign that what she’s doing is working. (It always does.) She kisses the girl and she is nothing if not enthusiastic. It’s not the worst experience Clarke has had, and she figures if she takes another shot, she’ll end up taking this girl home. Which wouldn’t be the worst decision in the world, nor would it be the best. She figures the girl is significantly more drunk than she is. She’s sloppy and slow and the thought of sleeping with her loses almost all appeal when the girl moves to kiss her neck and it’s truly like Clarke is being pecked at by a chicken. She decides that dancing with and being pecked at by this pretty girl is fine, but sleeping with is entirely another story.

 

She pulls back a bit, thinking her neck has suffered enough at the hands, or rather mouth, of this girl, and moves in to kiss her again, before going back to focus on the movement of her hips against this girl’s and distracting this girl from her neck.

 

The girl is pretty good at dancing, Clarke’ll give her that. Clarke settles for focusing on the movement of her hips again, turning the girl around to press her back up against her chest once more, figuring it’s harder for her to attack her neck this way. 

 

Clarke sighs quietly, and lets herself enjoy the movements of the girls hips, taking her thoughts as far away from her neighbor as they could possibly be.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa and Lincoln arrive at the party a little bit past 10, and it’s already in full swing.

 

Lexa notes that the atmosphere tonight is much different than the previous one. Where last night was every inch a celebration, bright and loud, tonight is dark and dirty, full of sweaty bodies pressed against each other, dancing in rhythm with the bass. It’s certainly not what she would have expected after seeing last night.

 

Clarke and Octavia are clearly very different hosts.

 

Lexa looks around the room for one of them, and sees Octavia. She turns to Lincoln, who she finds is already eyeing her from his place by the door. She nudges him and asks if he’d like her to introduce them. He nods yes, and together they walk across this room towards Octavia. She’s talking to another girl with dark hair when they walk over, but she notices them and interrupts her friend to say hello.

 

“Lexa, hey, you came!” She slurs. It’s clear the girl is a little drunk. Lexa nods and gestures to Lincoln.

 

“Yes. Octavia, this is my friend Lincoln, he lives next door to me. I hope you don’t mind that I brought him.” Lexa says, and Octavia smiles widely.

 

“Of course not. It’s nice to meet you, Lincoln.” Octavia says, smiling at him, extending a hand towards him for him to shake.

 

“It’s nice to meet you too, Octavia.” He says, shaking her hand with a smile. The two kind of just stare at each other, and Lexa sighs. The girl next to Octavia clears her throat.

 

“Hi, I’m Raven, nice to meet you.” She says, extending her hand to shake as well. Octavia blushes, and laughs nervously.

 

“Right, Lexa, this is Clarke’s roommate.” Octavia tells her, and she nods. 

 

“Ah, I see. Well, I’m sure we’ll be seeing lots of each other this summer. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get something to drink.” Lexa says, dismissing herself, knowing that Lincoln will most likely stay to talk to Octavia. Lexa walks into the next room to where she sees a table that is host to a variety of alcohols. She notes that she really only has one of three options, as far as consumption goes. Either shots, make herself some kind of mixed drink, or drink a beer. She opts for the third, as it requires the least amount of alcohol, and grabs a can of beer out of the cooler. She recognizes it as being one of the cheaper brands. Understandable since everyone here was likely in or fresh out of college. She opens the beer and begins sipping the beer, scanning the room.

 

She sees Bellamy sitting on the couch with a couple of other guys and laughing. Lexa continues to scan the room, searching for the familiar blonde hair, so maybe she can say hello or something. It takes her a while to find her but she finally spots Clarke. She’s dressed simply, jean shorts and a fairly low cut grey tank top, but she still looks very nice. However, it doesn’t take her long to notice that Clarke’s in the midst of all the bodies on the dance floor, pressed up against some brunette who seems to be determined to cut off Clarke’s oxygen supply entirely. 

 

Lexa’s stomach lurches a little at the sight. It’s a little unsettling watching her neighbor with this girl, and Lexa suddenly feels very hot. She turns away, drinking more of her beer, and walking out of the room, but not before putting her beer down on a table. Her stomach feels clenched, and she thinks that maybe this cheap beer is making it act up. She decides that maybe it’s best for her to go home. She can apologize to Clarke some other time. 

 

She walks up to Lincoln, who is still talking with Octavia, and clears her throat. They both look towards her, and she says “I think I’m going to leave. I feel a little sick, perhaps something I ate or something.” She says, and Lincoln frowns.

 

“Oh. Allow me to walk you home, Lexa.” He says, and Lexa gives him a small, sheepish smile.

 

“Don’t worry about me Lincoln. I’ll be fine. You seem to be making friends. Stay, enjoy yourself.” She says, and the worried look doesn’t leave his face, but she knows he won’t argue with her.

 

“If you insist. I hope you feel better. Let me know when you’ve arrived home safely.” He says, and she nods before turning to Octavia.

 

“Thank you for having me, although it was short lived. See you around.” She says, though she hopes maybe she won’t.

 

“Of course. See you, Lexa.” She says, and Lexa turns around, walking towards the door. She lets her face fall slightly as she walks out the door, and starts her walk home.

 

(She wonders how she’s managed to leave two parties on consecutive nights feeling very much like something was off.)

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s in the middle of dancing when she sees her. Lexa, that is.

 

She looks up to see the back of her head, (hair in a braid like the first time she saw her) discarding her beer on a table, and retreating into the other room. She watches as she walks up to her friend, Lincoln, who was talking to Octavia, briefly talking with them, then waking out the door.

 

Clarke wonders briefly if she should follow her, or if it would be weird. 

 

She ignores that voice in her head telling her it is, in fact, very weird, and excuses herself, leaving the girl she was dancing with behind. She leaves out the front door, jogging a little until she sees Lexa.

 

“Hey, Lexa.” She calls out, and the girl freezes, before returning around slowly to face her. Clarke lets herself take the girl in. She looks small. She’s dressed simply, just some jean shorts and a black v-neck, but she manages to look so nice, and it make’s Clarke smile. Her braid pulls her hair off her face in a way it wasn’t last night, and Clarke stops to admire the features of her face. They’re young, but somehow Clarke can tell there’s so much knowledge behind them. It almost makes Clarke envy her. She again carries herself in such a way that make her look so regal and beautiful and it feels too practiced to be natural.

 

“Clarke, hello.” She says, and it feels as formal as her posture suggests she is.

 

“Leaving already?” Clarke asks, and Lexa nods.

 

“Yes. I’m not feeling my best, so I decided it’s for the best that I head home. Try and sleep it off, or something.” She says, and Clarke frowns, knowing the party most likely won’t end anytime soon, and Lexa probably won’t sleep for a while. She figures Lexa probably knows this too, but all the same wants to leave.

 

“Oh. That sucks. Are you walking home alone?” Clarke asks, and Lexa nods again. “Do you need someone to walk with?” Clarke says, and it almost feels a little hopeful when she does.

 

“No. I’m fine, thank you.” Lexa says, and Clarke feels her face fall the tiniest bit. She wants to say something, anything, but comes up short.

 

“Oh, alright. Stay safe. Maybe next time you can stay longer.” She says, and it’s as much of a question as it is hopeful. Clarke swears she sees a tiny smile pulling at the corners of Lexa’s lips.

 

“Maybe, Clarke.” She says, before turning around to walk away.

 

Clarke watches her walk away for a few seconds, before turning around and heading back into the party, deciding that there’s clearly more to her quiet neighbor than she thought. 

 

* * *

 

 

When Lexa gets home, she takes a long shower. 

 

She knows she took one before going to Octavia’s party, but when she gets home, she can’t help but feel a little dirty. The party was crowded, and hot, and sweaty, and Lexa thinks that if she doesn’t take a shower, she’ll feel dirty all night.

 

Plus, it’s warmer out now than when she left, so she thinks that a cool shower is just what she needs to relax before bed.

 

So she takes a long, cold shower, seeking refuge in the streams of water cascading down her back, and the sound of water hitting the floor of the shower. She thinks it’s probably the most peaceful she’s felt all day. 

 

When she gets out, she throws on a pair of pajama shorts and a t-shirt before heading downstairs to get herself some water to drink.

 

She still feels her stomach tighten, her thoughts shifting slowly back towards the party she just left and she figures that maybe she’s dehydrated. She fills up a glass of water, and leans against her counter, letting out a deep sigh. She closes her eyes and takes a few gulps of the water. It settles her a little, and she thinks that maybe it was exactly what she needed.

 

She moves to sit down on her couch, and is joined by Heda, who seems desperate for her attention. She obliges and pets the dog mindlessly, wondering how she’s going to manage to stay sane while living next to the party animals from hell. 

 

She knows it’s harsh, but they are so different from her. Where Lexa is practiced, polite and quiet, her neighbors are harsh, loud and unapologetic. 

 

That is, except for Clarke. Her neighbor who went out of her way to apologize to her for keeping her up, giving her flowers (which, Lexa notes, haven’t made her sneeze yet), and even inviting her to tonight’s party. She supposes maybe they aren’t all _awful_ , just very different than she is. 

 

But she isn’t here to make friends. She’s here to relax and get away from her busy world full of stress and worry. She’s here to forget her past a little, to let go of the things that have happened over the past few months. Anya wanted her to find peace, and relaxation, yet here she was worrying about her neighbors and why she felt so weird at the party.

 

Her stomach sinks again, and she takes another gulp of her water, trying to wash away the unsettling feeling.

 

She closes her eyes and tries to take deep breaths and clear her mind again.

 

Tries being the operative word. She gets a few breaths in before a sneeze makes it’s way out of her body, and she opens her eyes again, sighing.

 

Looks like it’s going to be a little harder to escape her thoughts than she would like.

 

* * *

 

 

When Clarke gets back to the party, she sees the brunette girl from earlier dancing with the other girl who was trying to get her attention, and she figures it’s probably for the best. She’d pretty much lost all interest in her before leaving, anyways. 

 

She walks over to grab a beer from the cooler and sees Bellamy standing in the corner by himself, drinking a beer and surveying the room, and decides to go join him.

 

“Hey broody, what’s up?” She asks, and he glares a little.

 

“Fuck off, princess.” He says, and she winces. He must notice, because his face softens and he looks at her apologetically. “Sorry, it just slipped out.” He says, and Clarke nods in understanding.

 

“No, I know. It just still feels weird, ya know?” She says, and he nods sincerely. There’s a bit of an awkward silence, and Clarke looks around the room, noticing Octavia dancing with Lexa’s friend Lincoln, and smirking.

 

“Looks like Octavia’s having a good night.” She says, and Bellamy mimes gagging, making Clarke laugh.

 

“She’s not the only one. I saw you made a friend on earlier tonight.” He says.

 

“Something like that. I got bored though, there’s only so much chicken pecking a girl can take.” She says, and he raises an eyebrow, and she can tell he won’t ask for more details.

 

“Not up to your standards, then?” He says, and she shrugs.

 

“Not what I needed tonight.” She says, and Bellamy seems to understand. She drinks some more of her beer before asking, “So, you gonna tell me why you’re just standing in this corner alone?”

 

“Just observing.” He says, and Clarke raises an eyebrow now, too, but doesn’t probe further. That’s the nice thing about their friendship, Clarke thinks. They’ve always had a mutual understanding of when to ask questions, or when to just accept the other’s answer. They’ve both been through shit, there’s no questioning it, but they both know how to deal with it, and they understand that some issues are better solved alone.

 

They stand in silence and observe the party, taking in every movement of the crowd, and the hazy atmosphere induced almost entirely by the music and alcohol, letting their thoughts drift to whatever else may be on their minds.

 

(Clarke, though, tries her best to keep hers on the party, and far away from her brief run-in with Lexa.)

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa wakes up early the next morning to take Heda for a walk. It’s 6:30 in the morning, early enough that she figures her chances of running into any neighbors are slim. 

 

She sets out on the now familiar path by the lake, Heda still stopping every 30 seconds or so to pee on a tree, or sniff some patch of grass. She looks at the lake. It’s calm, with only early morning fishing boats sitting still on the surface. It’s quiet, too. The chirp of birds is the only sound she hears, and she revels in the peace of the morning. She closes her eyes and allows herself to breathe in the fresh air momentarily, before Heda tugs on the leash and she reluctantly follows the dog to the next tree on their path. 

 

Lexa has truly missed this. She had always loved New Hampshire. Countless lakes resting gently between the peaks of mountains. More trees than people, and houses so spread apart that privacy was easy. The feel of sand on her feet as she walks the path. The deep blue of the lake, only interrupted by the reflection of the sun’s rays on it’s vast surface. It’s almost magical, and Lexa smiles at how serene it is in this moment. 

 

She walks for what she assumes is somewhere around a half mile, before turning around and heading back.

 

She’s meeting Lincoln for a run around 8, and doesn’t want to be late.

 

She’s almost home when she sees someone, standing quietly at the lake’s edge. She knows who it is almost immediately.

 

Clarke.

 

Before she knows it, Lexa’s being pulled violently down the path by Heda, who has decided that she must investigate the girl standing by the lake.

 

Clarke hears them coming and turns around. When she sees Lexa, she smiles, then her smile widens as she notices Heda pulling her along. Heda wastes no time before rubbing her head against Clarke’s legs, and Clarke bends down to pet her.

 

“Hello, Clarke.” Lexa says, and Clarke looks up from Heda, who she’s petting very enthusiastically, much to Heda’s pleasure.

 

“Hey, you’re out early.” She says, and Lexa looks at Heda, who is now sitting next to Clarke, eyes closed and panting. Clearly she’s enjoying Clarke’s attention, and Lexa really can’t blame her.

 

“Heda needed a walk. I could say the same for you. I am surprised to see you up so early, the party seemed to go pretty late last night.” Lexa says, and Clarke stands up.

 

“I left around midnight, it got pretty boring after a while, and there’s only so much cheap beer a girl can drink before she starts to hate herself.” Clarke says, with a smile, and Lexa lets herself do the same.

 

“The beer was pretty awful.” Lexa says, and Clarke laughs.

 

“So, I take it you’re feeling better? You were really in a hurry to leave last night.” She says, and Lexa feels her stomach tighten again. She ignores the feeling, and nods, focusing instead on the look of sheer joy in Heda’s eyes.

 

“Dehydration, I think. I am feeling better now though.” She says, and it’s not a lie. She does. Clarke smiles gently, moving her focus back to Heda, who is still so happy to have it.

 

“That’s good.” She says, and for a second, Lexa thinks she’ll say something else, but she doesn’t. 

 

“Well, I should be going. I’m meeting Lincoln for a run soon, and I shouldn’t keep him waiting.” Lexa says, and Clarke nods.

 

“Right, of course.” Clarke says, standing up with one last ruffle of Heda’s fur, and a mumbled goodbye to the dog, and Lexa smiles at her.

 

“See you soon, Clarke.” She says, and Clarke gives her a little wave, and Lex turns around to walk away. She gets a few steps before turning around again. “Oh, and Clarke?” She asks.

 

“Yeah?” Clarke responds.

 

“Thank you. For the flowers.” Lexa says, and Clarke smiles again, and Lexa swears she can see her eyes sparkle.

 

“You’re welcome, Lexa.” She says, and Lexa smiles back at her before turning around again and walking home.

 

(So much for avoiding her neighbors, huh?)

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 or the one where Heda is a pain in the ass, Clarke has to buy more flowers, and Lexa hates dill pickles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, thank you ALL for all your kind words and reading this fic. you're all amazing. feel free to follow me on tumblr @ clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com for any updates & general liveblogging of my writing process, or feel free to direct any feelings you have to my ask there. 
> 
> you're all amazing!
> 
> warnings: drugs and alcohol

Chapter 3

 

* * *

 

 

It had been almost a week, and Lexa had managed to avoid seeing Clarke almost entirely. Lexa figures she did her part in thanking Clarke for the flowers, and since there hadn’t been any absurdly loud festivities since that night at Octavia’s, she’d had no reason to talk to Clarke again. 

 

She isn’t necessarily trying to avoid her, but she most certainly isn’t actively seeking her out, either. 

 

Over the past week, she’s spent a decent amount of time with Lincoln, who apparently has been getting along quite well with Octavia. It makes Lexa happy to see him enjoying himself here. She wasn’t sure how he’d be doing when she came up here. He had left the city years ago after losing his job at the local hospital, and moved here to work at a private practice facility. He seemed happier here, more able to manage his own time and clientele. 

 

Lincoln tells her that Octavia sometimes asks how she is, and says that some day Lexa should come to dinner with them. Lexa politely declines, though, not wanting to intrude on their time together. The summer is short, and she wants Lincoln to enjoy his happiness as much as possible. 

 

This morning, however, Lincoln told her he had to go into work for the earlier part of the day, meaning he couldn’t go on their usual morning run. Lexa decides that, rather than go on the run alone, she’ll go for a quick swim in the lake. She hasn’t actually done so yet, and it just happens that this Thursday morning is probably the warmest morning she’s been here for yet, making it perfect for a mid-miring swim. She thinks that maybe Heda will benefit from a nice swim as well, and decides to bring her along. 

 

When she gets to the lake, there’s a surprising lack of people there, and Lexa’s excited to have a nice peaceful swim. She ties Heda up while she takes off her t-shirt and shorts, then picks up the ball she brought with her to keep the dog entertained while they swim. She holds Heda’s attention with the ball, while she unclips the leash. She then throws the ball as far as she can into the water, watching as Heda races off towards the water, follwing quickly behind her. She laughs quietly at the sight of her big wolf of a dog reduced to a tiny head and front paws bobbing above the water. 

 

She wades in the water up to her knees, enjoying the almost silky feel of the water against her legs. It’s in no way warm, but Lexa prefers cold water to warm water, which often feels like swimming through urine to her. Heda swims up to her, splashing Lexa’s stomach with water as she does and Lexa shivers briefly at the cold. Heda drops the ball at her feet, and Lexa picks it up and throws it again. She walks a few steps further before diving in herself. 

 

She feels instantly more relaxed, the tension in her body being released through her submersion in the cold water. She swims for a bit, feeling the water get even colder as she swims further out and the water gets deeper. She comes up for air and treads water as she looks around the lake. She can’t see much, the lake is wide and her eyes can only make things out clearly until about the halfway point before they start blurring together. She sees several sail boats out on the water, as well as what she thinks are a few fishing boats, trying to make use of what little relative quiet is left. 

 

Lexa hears splashing behind her and looks over to see Heda swimming towards her. She swims back a bit, moving to meet the dog who is clearly still enjoying their little game. She takes the ball from her mouth and throws it sideways, watching as Heda paddles off in it’s direction before turning around to scope out the rest of the lake. 

 

She notes that the other houses near her, including Lincoln’s and Clarke and Raven’s, are all void of any signs of life, and she wonders how it’s possible for them to sleep this late when there’s so much to enjoy this early. She let’s herself swim some more, enjoying the feeling of water rippling around her as she swims. She swims in a little, assuming Heda will want her to throw the ball for her some more, but when she stands up and looks around, Heda is nowhere to be seen in the water. She looks towards the shore, figuring maybe she got bored and went to go lie in the sun, but again she sees no trace of her. She gets out of the water, and then she spots her. 

 

Heda is racing up the hill, no doubt in pursuit of a squirrel, and Lexa panics.

 

She grabs Heda’s leash, forgetting her clothes and running off in pursuit of her dog. She races up the hill, and mentally thanks herself for keeping up with her running, all while trying to keep an eye on Heda’s retreating figure. She sees her head off in the direction of Clarke and Raven’s house and follows down the path as quickly as possible, mumbling all the while angrily to herself for picking the dog that is part wolf and loves to hunt, and part husky, the breed meant to run for hours on end in the Iditarod. 

 

She follows behind Heda at a considerable distance still and watches as she (of course) heads down the path to Clarke’s house. She watches with horror as Heda jumps over a fence, in Clarke’s yard, which she assumes is meant to keep animals out, and pushes herself to run even faster, so she can stop Heda before she does any damage to whatever may be in there. 

 

When Lexa gets to the fence, she stops briefly. Behind the fence is a beautiful flower garden, and Lexa now understands where the flowers came from.

 

She sighs before jumping over the fence, doing her best to avoid the flowers, hoping that she can reign Heda in before she ends up trampling all the beautiful flowers.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s sitting at the kitchen table with Raven, arguing about what their plans for the weekend should be, when Clarke sees a big animal hurdle over the fence to her garden.

 

“Raven, did you see that!” Clarke asks, getting up to see better, before walking towards the door to go investigate.

 

“See what?” Raven asks her, looking out the window to try and figure out what Clarke is talking about.

 

“I don’t know! I just saw some big furry creature jump over the fence and into the garden! I have to go see!” She says, before opening the door and running outside, not bothering to wait for Raven’s response. She follows the path, before deciding that maybe she should get something to protect herself and running to the tool shed to grab a shovel. She makes her way cautiously down the path when she hears a growl. She tightens her grip on the shovel and moves closer, walking around the garden to the door. 

 

She opens it and walks in, and is very surprised by what she finds.

 

It’s Lexa. Wearing a bikini (which she assumes wasn’t always brown) and covered in mud, one arm around her equally dirty dog and while she clearly struggles to clip the leash onto her collar.

 

“Oh.” Clarke says, and Lexa startles a little, but manages to clip the leash on her dog before standing up. Lexa eyes the shovel in Clarke hands, and realizing she’s holding it pretty defensively, she puts it down. “Hi Lexa.” She says, but Lexa is clearly a bit uncomfortable with the situation, so she moves to stare at her dog, rather than Clarke herself, and Clarke lets her eyes wander over Lexa’s body a little.

 

She’s definitely fit. That’s for sure. She doesn’t let herself look for long, just long enough to take in fully the image of Lexa, covered in mud, wearing a bikini, and clearly very embarrassed to be found in Clarke’s garden wrestling her own dog. She likely realizes exactly what state she’s in because she crosses her arms over her stomach as if to try and cover up a little bit. Clarke looks up to her face, which is also covered in mud, and Clarke thinks it looks a little bit like a raccoon, and she resists the urge to chuckle.

 

“Clarke, hi, I’m so sorry, I was going for a swim in the lake with Heda and she must’ve seen a squirrel or something and next thing I knew she was running off and then she was in your garden and I feel terrible, and I just-“ Lexa rambles, and Clarke decides to stop her before she gives herself an ulcer.

 

“Lexa, Lexa slow down it’s ok. They’re just flowers, it’s no big deal.” Seeing that Lexa is clearly still distressed, she adds, “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” She says, and Lexa seems to relax a little bit, and collect herself.

 

“I still feel awful. Let me make it up to you somehow? I could buy you more flowers, to replace the ones Heda ruined.” Lexa says, and Clarke smiles. Truthfully, there’s not much she needs, but spending time with Lexa can’t be a _bad_ thing, so she considers the offer. She figures she’ll have to replace some of the flowers anyways, so she might as well let Lexa help with that.

 

“Well, I _am_ probably going to want to replace some of these, so maybe you can come with me to the nursery to buy the replacements.” Clarke says, and Lexa smiles in relief.

 

“Of course, when do you want to go?” Lexa says, and Clarke debates a little before deciding tho tease Lexa a little.

 

“Let’s hop in my car right now and go over, come on!” Clarke says, and she watches as Lexa blushes and looks down at herself. “I’m kidding Lexa, jeez. Lighten up. Why don’t you go home and shower and whatever else you need, then come over here when you’re done. That way I can tell Raven it actually wasn’t a bear invading the garden, but actually just your wolf of a dog.” Lexa smiles gratefully, and Clarke smiles back, and despite herself, leans down to pat Heda’s muddy head, to which she responds by licking Clarke’s hand, no doubt ingesting some of the mud herself. Clarke wonders how Lexa could possibly think she would even consider making her go out in public covered in mud. 

 

“Thanks, Clarke, I’ll be back over soon. I’m sorry again.” She says, and makes her way out of the garden. 

 

“Seriously, Lexa, don’t worry about it. See you soon.” Clarke says, following her out of the garden, shutting the fence behind herself. She can’t help but watch as Lexa walks away. She truly looks great, despite being covered in mud. Clarke decides to use the door on the porch, rather than follow Lexa at this weird distance up the path to her front door. 

 

Once inside, she looks around for Raven, who she finds sitting at the kitchen table, frowning slightly at her phone.

 

“Hey Clarke. How was your mud wrestling match with hot neighbor girl.” She says without looking up from her phone. Clarke feels herself start to blush knowing that Raven had most definitely seen everything that just went down in the garden.

 

“ _Raven_.” Clarke says. It’s clearly exasperated, and she sees Raven smirk.

 

“Oh come on Clarke, tell me you didn’t enjoy that.” Raven says, finally looking up at Clarke, and she knows that even if she were to lie, Raven would see right through it. She shrugs and Raven smiles triumphantly. Not wanting to let Raven be too smug, she decides to explain.

 

“Her dog trampled my flowers.” Clarke says, and she knows it’s reaching, but she wants to change the subject.

 

“Have you filled out an incident report yet? Sounds like a clear cut crime of passion to me. The dog is just jealous you gave flowers to Lexa and not her.” Raven says, and Clarke just glares at her.

 

“Seriously Raven?” She asks, and Raven smiles.

 

“Oh come on, you go to the nursery like once a week. They know you by name now. Just go over buy more to replace the ones that Lexa’s dog attacked.” She tells Clarke. 

 

“I am. Well, kind of.” Clarke says, sheepishly, and Raven looks at her, the question clear in her eyes. “Lexa said she’d come with me to buy me replacements.”

 

Raven gives her an incredulous look, and Clarke frowns. “Is she taking you out to dinner afterwards or what? I know she hasn’t asked me anything about a ring yet, so clearly it’s not _that_ serious, but just give me a little warning before you move her stuff into our place.” Raven says, sarcastically, and Clarke feels her blush deepen. 

 

“Stop it, Raven. Come on, she’s just trying to apologize.” Clarke says and Raven rolls her eyes. Clarke can feel herself getting a little annoyed, this is an apology, simple as that, not whatever Raven’s trying to insinuate.

 

“You have to admit she’s a little weird. One minute she’s yelling at you for having a good time and the next she’s practically tripping over herself to make sure your feelings aren’t hurt. Usually it takes girls more than 6 days to fall head over heels for you. I know you’re hot, but you’re not _that_ hot.” Raven says, and Clarke huffs. “Plus, there’s only so much flower exchanging you guys can do before Georgia O’Keefe stages an intervention.”

 

Clarke rubs her temples in frustration. She knows she’s in for a lot more teasing from Raven, and braces herself.

 

(Hopefully Lexa gets ready fast.)

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Lexa does when she gets home is hose down her dog. 

 

Her stupid dog who just _had_ to chase a squirrel in to Clarke’s garden.

 

Her flower garden full of beautiful flowers which Clarke had no doubt spent painstaking hours taking care of.

 

Her flower garden which Heda had managed to trample.

 

Obviously, Lexa had offered to buy Clarke new flowers, which Clarke accepted. (Why wouldn’t she?) 

 

After hosing down and drying off Heda, she lets her in the house, only to put her in her crate so she can’t cause any more trouble. 

 

Once in her house, Lexa lets out the sneeze she’s been holding in since the moment she jumped into Clarke’s garden. Then she realizes that she just offered to take Clarke to the nursery. Full of flowers. To which Lexa is very allergic. 

 

Which means Clarke is bound to find out she’s allergic to flowers, and it will be horribly embarrassing. 

 

Lexa grabs a towel and heads towards the bathroom to shower. She makes a mental note to take two allergy pills before she leaves.

 

She’s determined to try as hard as she can to keep Clarke from finding out about her allergy.

 

She sneezes again, and Lexa knows that’s going to be a very hard thing to accomplish.

 

* * *

 

 

After going to the nursery, and spending the trip in relative silence, aside from Lexa’s occasional sneezing and her mumbled confusion as to how one bunch of flowers could really be all that different from another of the exact same kind, Clarke suggested that they go to lunch. She was starving and she figured she could make Lexa talk a little more easily if they were sitting in the same booth at the diner.

 

She’s just realizing now how wrong she is.

 

She’s made several attempts at conversation, which are all met with short answers or casual dismissals. Lexa is frustratingly unreceptive to her attempts at conversation. But, she continues to press on, figuring that eventually, Lexa will get sick of Clarke talking and speak herself, if only to ensure Clarke doesn’t. 

 

“Lexa, come on, we’re gonna be neighbors all summer, at least pretend you’re interested in getting to know me. At this point, all you know is that I have art in a gallery here, I like flowers, and that I’m really good with alcohol, and all I know about you is you have a dog that’s part wolf, part husky who likes to eat flowers, that you run, and you love to ruin parties. Also, you’re almost definitely allergic to flowers.” Clarke says, and Lexa looks up from her food and swallows it, only to glare at Clarke, but that doesn’t hide the slight blush Clarke notices creeping it’s way onto Lexa’s cheeks. 

 

“I do not love to ruin parties, Clarke, and Heda doesn’t eat flowers.” She corrects, closing to ignore her allergy comment, and Clarke smiles a little. She’ll definitely be coming back to that one later.

 

“See, I know more about you already.” Clarke says, laughing a little and she swears she sees Lexa roll her eyes. “Oh, come on Lexa, tell me about yourself. Why are you here, what’s your favorite color, and most importantly, how the fuck can you possibly prefer bread and butter pickles to dill pickles? These are the kind of questions I need answered.”

 

“Clarke, I really don’t understand how being neighbors necessitates us getting to know each other.” Lexa says.

 

“I just want to make sure I’m not living next to a crazy person, and honestly, your pickle choice does not have you off to a good start.” Clarke says, and she watches as a tiny smile tugs at the corners of Lexa’s mouth. 

 

“Fine. I’m here for the summer on vacation because my employees think I need time off, my favorite color is blue, and my foster parents always made roast beef sandwiches with dill pickles and potato salad on Sundays, and I got so sick of it that now I can’t eat any of those three ever again, but I still like pickles so I eat the bread and butter ones.” Lexa says, and Clarke cocks her head to the side a little, debating whether or not it’s too nosy to ask more questions. Lexa clearly realizes this and continues a little. “I lived with a foster family until I was 16 and was able to save enough money to live on my own.”

 

“Holy shit, 16? At 16 I hadn’t even had my first job.” Clarke says, and Lexa shrugs. Clarke decides not to press further, and changes the subject. “Where do you work?” She asks.

 

“I own a book store in New York City.” She says casually. Clarke’s eyes widen. Lexa’s a year older than her (they’d established that when they first got here), and already owns her own business. Clarke almost envies her. 

 

“New York City? What made you decide to come here, then?” Clarke asks, and Lexa smiles wistfully.

 

“I grew up in New England, spent a lot of my summers here, so I decided what better place for a quiet vacation than here. Although, clearly I was mistaken.” She says, and it’s a little bitter, and Clarke frowns a little. She feels a little bad about last week still. 

 

“Yeah, sorry about that. Having us as neighbors probably sucks. But my offer still stands, you’re welcome to come whenever you want.” Clarke says, and she busies herself by eating more food. Lexa smiles. It’s small, and hesitant. But it’s a smile, and it makes Clarke feel less like she has something to worry about.

 

“Thank you, but I was never really the partying kind, so it’s really not my scene anyways.” Lexa says, and Clarke nods in understanding. She supposes that partying makes it harder to start your own business when you’re in your twenties. “I also really don’t know anyone.” She says, and it’s shy. Something she wouldn’t have expected from Lexa.

 

“Sure you do. You know me, and Octavia, and Bellamy, and even Raven. Plus, Lincoln is always welcome too. You should really come. There’s a party Saturday at my house. You should come, and bring Lincoln, and let me show you the party through my eyes. There’s more to it than meets the eyes.”Clarke says, and she meets Lexa’s eyes and smiles reassuringly, but Lexa still looks unsure. “Just come for a little bit, and if it sucks or you hate it, or get sick of me, you can leave, and never come to another one again, and I’ll even throw in a free coffee for your hangover the next morning.” Clarke says, and Lexa sighs resignedly, and Clarke knows she’s won. 

 

“Fine, I’ll come. But for the record, I have never been hungover in my life.” Lexa says, and Clarke laughs.

 

“You’ve probably never had jell-o shots either, and the two definitely aren’t mutually exclusive.” Clarke says, still laughing. Lexa’s eyes widen a little in response.

 

“I’m already starting to regret agreeing to come, and it hasn’t even been a minute.” She says, and Clarke’s laughter only increases.

 

“Oh, Lexa, that’s not the least of it. I can already tell this is going to be so fun.” Clarke says, and Lexa looks more nervous than she’s seen her yet.

 

Clarke spends the rest of their lunch asking Lexa if she’s tried certain things, alcohols, drinking games, whatever she can think of, and making a mental list of all the things to teach Lexa, who’s definitely letting her nervousness show. 

 

She only hopes she’ll have more than one night, because there is a lot of shit to cover. 

 

* * *

 

 

It was two days later, which meant that soon, Clarke would text her to come over to her house for her party (they had exchanged numbers in the diner for this exact purpose). Clarke had offered for her to come get ready, but Lexa abstained from that, deciding that she’d rather have time to mentally prepare herself for whatever she had gotten herself into by agreeing to go to this party. Plus, she’d already spent a lot of time with Clarke this week (she stopped by yesterday to visit Heda and ask Lexa some seemingly pointless questions about the party) and was about to spend more time with her and all her friends, so some quiet would do her good. 

 

Lexa spent much less time getting ready for this party than the last one. She decided that she’d just wear something simple, black shorts and a dark green shirt. Once she was dressed, she put on a very small amount of makeup, then went to sit with Heda for a bit while waiting for Clarke’s text. 

 

She’d gone for a walk with Lincoln earlier, who told her he’d be at the party as well., and Lexa was relieved that if the party was awful, at least she could talk with Lincoln, even if he did spend most of the evening with Octavia. Lincoln’s presence is probably the only thing keeping her from being too worried about the party, because she knows Lincoln cares about her and will make sure nothing too bad happens to her tonight.

 

Not that she thinks anything bad will happen, but she knows Clarke has a lot of energy, which she knows she can match, but better safe than sorry.

 

Not long after she sits down, Lexa gets the text from Clarke telling her to come over. 

 

She walks over, and barely knocks on the door before it’s opened and she’s pulled inside violently by Clarke (Lexa wonders how much harder she’d have to pull to actually remove her arm), who shuts the door behind them.

 

“Lexa, hey, come on.” Clarke says, and, well, it’s not like Lexa has a choice. Clarke is still gripping her wrist and dragging her off through the house. There’s music playing, but it’s still relatively quiet. She follows as Clarke leads her into the kitchen, where Raven is standing at their counter holding a bottle of vodka. Lexa looks around and notices three shot glasses set out, and her eyes widen.

 

“Hey, Lexa. Are you ready to have your first pre-game?” Raven asks her, pouring the vodka in the three shot glasses. Clarke seems to notice that Lexa’s a little uncomfortable and squeezes her wrist a little before letting it go. 

 

“Don’t worry, Lexa, it’s just one shot, not like we’re getting blasted before everyone else comes.” She says, and Lexa relaxes a little. She can handle one shot. But she hears Raven scoff.

 

“Speak for yourself, Griffin, I plan on doing at least three.” She says, and Clarke rolls her eyes. 

 

“So much for being responsible hosts.” She says, and Lexa laughs a little.

 

“Since when are we ever responsible hosts, Clarke, come on. Just cuz Lexa’s here doesn’t mean you have to pretend to suddenly be good at being an adult.” Raven says, picking her shot glass up and holding it out towards Clarke to challenge her before downing the shot, not without making a sour face and hissing. Clarke’s eyes narrow in a glare. 

 

“Fine, I’ll match your three shots. Lexa, feel free to do whatever you’re comfortable with.” She says moving towards the counter and picking it up to take her shot, doing so with much more grace than Raven, making it look almost easy. Lexa moves forward, but is much more cautious than them. She’s only done this a handful of times, and hated every time she did. She eyes the shot before picking it up and downing it. It tastes awful, and she coughs at the taste after swallowing. She knows she’s making a disgusted face, and Clarke nudges her arm, and hands her a soda, likely so Lexa can chase the taste. Lexa smiles before taking a sip. The taste goes away relatively quickly, and Lexa’s grateful. She decides not to match Clarke and Raven’s three shots, watching as they each knock back two more shots with relative ease. Lexa hears the door open, and before anyone can say anything, she hears a loud voice sounding from the front hall.

 

“Hey assholes, turn up the music, people are getting here and I’m already bored out of my fucking mind!” Octavia’s voice rings out, and Clarke laughs. 

 

“Get the fuck over yourself, Octavia, just because you’re here doesn’t mean the party’s in full swing.” Raven says, and Octavia walks into sight, carrying a bag that Lexa assumes is full of alcohol. Octavia is closely followed by Bellamy who’s carrying a case of beer, and two other black haired guys who Lexa thinks she vaguely recognizes from the other night.

 

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a party without me, so I’d beg to differ.” Octavia says, moving towards the stereo to turn up the music, and Lexa winces a little at the adjustment, and then towards the counter to put her bags down. She notices Lexa and smiles. “Hey Lexa. Didn’t know you’d be here this early. Lincoln said you were coming, but I just assumed you guys would come over later.” She says to her, she’s about to answer, when Clarke speaks.

 

“Lexa’s never pre-gamed before, and I told her I’d give her the full party experience, so here she is.” Clarke says, and Octavia raises an eyebrow in surprise.

 

“You’ve never pre-gamed before? Jeez, have you been living under a rock?” She asks.

 

“No, I’ve just never been the party type. I’m more of a drinks and dinner kind of person than anything.” Lexa replies, and everyone seems to accept that and move on. 

 

“Hey, Lexa,” She hears Bellamy’s voice and turns towards the sound. “This is Monty and Jasper, they live next to me and Octavia.” And Lexa nods hello to them, assuming that her name’s been said enough in the last few minutes that she really doesn’t need to repeat it and introduce herself.

 

Lexa watches as everyone in the kitchen moves around to get everything ready for the party, some taking shots as they go, pulling food out to put in bowls and grabbing countless things out of the fridge to serve with drinks. It’s so well rehearsed, and Lexa wonders just how many times they’ve done something like this. She quietly asks Clarke if they need any help but Clarke tells her they’re almost done, so she just leans back against the wall and waits silently for them to finish. 

 

Though all her friends are clearly strong personalities, it’s also easy for Lexa to note that Clarke is clearly the most dominant personality in the room. She admires the way that Clarke commands attention, and gives out orders to her friends. 

 

As they finish setting things up, more people start to arrive, some coming in to the kitchen to grab drinks or drop things off, and whatnot, and it starts to get pretty crowded. Lexa quietly hopes that Clarke finishes soon or that Lincoln arrives, so she’s not left standing off to the side for much longer.

 

Her hopes are met when Clarke looks up and sees her, says something to Raven, who nods, and makes her way towards Lexa. 

 

“Sorry that took a while, party prep’s a little harder than it looks.” Clarke says, and it’s definitely a little smug. Lexa has to give her credit, though, it was impressive.

 

“I will admit, a lot more went into getting ready than I expected.” She says.

 

“Have you had anything else besides that one shot?” Clarke asks, and Lexa shakes her head no. “Oh well come on, let’s get you something to drink.” She says, walking towards the counter with the drinks, motioning for Lexa to follow. Lexa scans the table. There’s certainly a large variety, and Lexa doesn’t know where to start. Clarke, on the other hand seems to have taken it into her own hands to help Lexa out. She mixes some vodka with some kind of juice and Lexa watches. She also grabs two jell-o shots, handing one to Lexa. “Before you get your drink, you’re having your first vodka shot, okay?” She says, and Lexa takes the shot out of her hand.

 

“How do I do this?” Lexa asks.

 

“Just kinda swallow it whole. Here, watch.” She says, and she takes the shot, disconnecting it from the walls of it’s container with her tongue, before shooting it back and swallowing it whole. “Alright, your turn.” She says. Lexa downs the her own shot with relative ease, but there’s still a nice chunk left, which she goes back for. It’s not nearly as awful as the first shot, but she can still taste the alcohol pretty strongly, despite the jell-o’s attempt to mask it. “Good work, there you go, your first jell-o shot. How do you feel?” Clarke asks, and it’s entirely mocking of Lexa’s hesitancy to do so.

 

“No different than I did before. Can I have my drink now?” Lexa asks, and Clarke obliges, handing her the drink. Lexa takes a large gulp, figuring it’s only 9, and if she’s gonna make it much further in the night, she’ll need a little more alcohol to go on. 

 

The drink is **strong.** It tastes strongly of the vodka Clarke put in it and the flavor from whatever fruit juice was mixed with it is hardly there. Lexa pulls a face and Clarke laughs. 

 

“Did I make it too strong? Sorry, I’m really good with my liquor.” She says, and Lexa can’t help but feel a little ridiculous. She’s 23 years old, and yet she can barely handle a drink that most college students could knock back in less than ten minutes. She feels the alcohol start to warm her body, and decides to just suck it up. She takes another large gulp in defiance, and Clarke’s eyes widen a little. “I guess not.” She says, and Lexa still sputters after she swallows, but this time, Clarke doesn’t comment on it. She moves to make her own, and Lexa watches her. She takes yet another gulp of her drink, figuring soon enough she won’t care so much about the taste. 

 

Lexa notes that along with smelling like alcohol and juice, the room now also smells like weed. She scans the room and finds Bellamy’s friends Monty and Jasper standing in a circle, passing around a pipe. Lexa has only smoked a handful of times in her life, but not since many years ago. She just hadn’t found a time or place for it in her life, and honestly, she’d never really enjoyed her experience with smoking. Too many boys she had absolutely no interest in treating her like an innocent flower being tainted by the _oh so dirty_ smoke for her taste. 

 

Lexa watches as one of them gestures in their direction, and Clarke walks towards them, taking the piece from some girl and inhaling deeply before handing it back to her, and exhaling the smoke slowly. She walks back towards Lexa, and smiles. 

 

“Do you smoke?” She asks and Lexa shrugs.

 

“Not for a while, but I have.” She says, and Clarke nods.

 

“Well, if you ever want to, let me know.” She says, and Lexa smiles in acknowledgement of the offer. Lexa hears the song change, and Clarke smiles widely, her eyes brightening as she does. 

 

“I love this song. Come on, Lexa, let’s dance. And don’t give me any ‘Oh, I don’t dance, Clarke’ bullshit. Jump up and down like middle schoolers do at a dance for all I care, but I’m not going out there alone.” Clarke tells her, and Lexa mentally chastises herself for being unable to find an argument to give this girl.

 

“Alright, fine, let’s dance.” She says, and Clarke smiles, taking Lexa’s drink and putting it on the table, and grabbing her wrist again, leading her back towards the front of the house, where Lexa assumes people will be dancing in the same place they were the first night she met Clarke. 

 

They get to the front of the house, and there’s already a large group of people dancing. Lexa doesn’t recognize the song, but clearly they do. Clarke easily fits herself in to the crowd, still pulling Lexa with her. 

 

Suddenly, Lexa is hit with the memory of Clarke with that girl the previous week, and her stomach drops a little. Lexa feels a heat in her chest, but since she’s just entered a mass of other people, she guesses she’s just getting a little hot. It’s sweaty, and she’s surrounded by strangers, but she forces herself to focus on Clarke, who’s singing along to the music, dancing as well, and Lexa briefly lets herself admire the movements of her hips, before someone next to her bumps into her, and she looks over. It’s a blonde girl, who smiles sheepishly at her, before loudly apologizing to her. Lexa nods to say it’s alright, and goes to move her focus back to Clarke, but she hears the girl’s voice again.

 

“I’m June.” The girl says, and Lexa figures she’s now going to have to talk to this girl. She feels Clarke let go of her wrist, and she looks back over at her. She smiles encouragingly at Lexa, who frowns before looking back at the girl.

 

“Lexa.” She says, and the girl smiles.

 

“Hi, Lexa, wanna dance?” She asks, and Lexa shrugs slightly in response. The girl then moves closer to Lexa, dancing closely, and Lexa feels herself flush.

 

She looks back over to Clarke, who’s dancing with a couple of her friends, watching Lexa cautiously as if to make sure she’s alright. Lexa smiles, and although she knows it looks a bit uncomfortable, Clarke seems to take it as a sign that Lexa’s all fine and moves on herself. 

 

Lexa lets herself relax and move with this girl, figuring that she might as well indulge her.

 

She came here to fully experience the party, and this seems to be a part of that.

 

She hopes Clarke doesn’t go too far. She’s not sure how whatever this is will turn out, and wants to be able to escape then she needs to.

 

There’s nothing comfortable about this situation, and Lexa thinks she’ll end it sooner rather than later.

 

(Clarke did invite her so she could show her the party through her eyes. What kind of guest would she be if she just left her for the rest of the night, anyways?)

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke picks up the bottle of vodka and pours herself another shot, knocking it back with ease.

 

Shortly after Lexa had started dancing with June, Clarke started feeling very hot, and left the crowd of people dancing in search of a drink. She gets to the kitchen to find Raven gone (probably upstairs with some guy) and Octavia leaning up against the wall talking to Lincoln. The guys are gone too, and Clarke guesses they’re somewhere outside, smoking or picking around, something like that. She can’t be bothered. 

 

She is bored, though. All her friends are gone, including Lexa, who she’d invited with the intention of getting to know and have fun with.

 

Now she’s off having fun with June and Clarke is a little annoyed. She wants to spend time with Lexa. Do jell-o shots with her, dance to Beyoncé with her, whatever. 

 

She hopes Lexa gets bored of June soon. (Honestly, who wouldn’t? She’s a dud.)

 

It’s stupid, she knows. She should be happy that Lexa’s having at least _some_ fun. I mean, that’s why Clarke invited her. But she’s _almost_ jealous that she’s not having fun with her.

 

In a much more PG-rated way, obviously. 

 

Right?

 

Well… Clarke knows Lexa’s hot, and she would never complain about hooking up with her. Far from it, actually. She’d be totally happy with that.

 

So, maybe she is jealous of June. 

 

Whatever, it’s no big deal. Lexa’s just a girl. 

 

Clarke knows that, realistically, she could probably get with the vast majority of girls there. She knows she’s hot, and pretty well known. People seem to like to hang out with her, and she’s arguably pretty fun to be around.

 

She _is_ fun, right?

 

Maybe she isn’t.

 

She takes another shot before she walks over to Octavia, deciding that being left alone with her own thoughts is terrible, and she’d rather be a third wheel.

 

“Clarke, hey, where’s Lexa?” Octavia asks when she sees her, and Clarke shrugs.

 

“She’s dancing with June. Felt weird just hanging around on the dance floor, so I came here to get something to drink. It’s hot out there.” She says, before adding, “Hi Lincoln.”

 

“Hello Clarke. Thanks for having me.” He says, and Clarke smiles.

 

“Hey, anytime. Told Lexa you both are welcome whenever you wanna come.” She says, with a smile. “How’s work?” She asks, though truthfully she doesn’t care all that much. Small talk really isn’t her thing. In fact, she almost never wastes her time with it, but she wants to waste as much time as she can so she figures she might as well go for it.

 

Truthfully, Clarke kind of zones out for his answer. It’s long-winded, and if she wanted to listen to someone talk about being a doctor she’d call her mother. Lord knows that won’t be happening anytime soon, so she just nods along when appropriate, adding in words of encouragement where they make sense to keep him going.

 

Clarke looks around the room every once in a while, hoping maybe Lexa will come back to hang out with her, or to get something to drink, or something.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Lexa actually does come in the kitchen, Octavia and Lincoln are long gone, and Clarke’s had several meaningless conversations with people here and there. It’s getting late, and Clarke’s a little more drunk than she expected, but still in control, thankfully.

 

When she sees Lexa, she’s sweaty, and clearly out of breath, and she’s followed closely by June, who’s laughing and telling Lexa some boring story. 

 

Or at least, she figures it’s boring because Lexa’s face seems to convey that she couldn’t be less interested if she tried. 

 

Lexa makes eye contact with her and her eyes widen. She mouths ‘ _Help_ ’ and Clarke chuckles, then excuses herself from the group of people she’s standing with to go help her, coming up with some story to tell as she walks over to Lexa.

 

“Lexa, hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! Lincoln said he wanted to talk to you about something. You don’t mind, do you June? I’m sure Lexa can find you afterwards.” Clarke says, and she doesn’t care that she couldn’t sound more fake if she tried.

 

“No, of course not. See you later, Lexa.” June says, and Clarke grabs Lexa’s hand and pulls her away, waiting to make sure that June is out of the room before she pulls her outside. Clarke stands there for a second, before realizing she’s still holding Lexa’s hand, and she lets it go quickly.

 

“Thank you, Clarke, honestly. If I had had to listen to her tell me any more about her boring life I probably would have put my head through a wall.” Lexa says, and Clarke laughs. She feels bad for thinking it, but she’s glad that Lexa thinks June is boring. That means she won’t hang out with her, and Clarke can actually have some fun with Lexa. 

 

“Why didn’t you just excuse yourself or something. You really don’t really strike me as the complacent listening type.” Clarke says, and Lexa just kind of shrugs. “Where’s the girl who stormed my house in the name of no fun right now?” Clarke asks, and Lexa laughs. It’s a nice sound, and it’s rare. Just like her real smile. They’re two things that, despite really not knowing her or being all that close to her, she hopes she only sees.

 

“She went to bed hours ago.” Lexa says, and it’s so deadpanned that Clarke can’t help but laugh. Clarke hears laughter from behind her and looks out on to the yard to see Monty, Harper and a few others she can’t really make out sitting in a little circle and smoking. “If you want to join them, we can.” Lexa says, and Clarke turns to her to gauge what she means. 

 

“Are you sure you want to?” Clarke asks, not wanting to do anything that could make Lexa uncomfortable, but Lexa gives her a small smile.

 

“Yes. I think that you’re better company than anyone I’ve done it with in the past. Maybe it’ll be fun. Plus, it’s part of the experience, right?” Lexa says, and Clarke notes her nervousness, but Lexa seems determined to do this, so Clarke walks down the steps of the porch and off towards the circle.

 

“Hey, guys.” She says when she walks up. “Mind if we join?” She asks, and there’s a quiet chorus of lazy sounds of general agreement as the circle widens, making room for Clarke and Lexa to sit down. When they do, Monty turns to Lexa and smiles.

 

“Lexa, right?” He asks, and she nods. “Nice. Welcome.” He says and Lexa mumbles a quiet thank you. People are talking quietly in the circle. It’s a different atmosphere than inside, calmer and lazier. Clarke almost likes this better than what’s inside sometimes. Clarke quietly turns to Lexa, realizing she should check to make sure she knows how to smoke before the piece gets to them.

 

“D’you remember how to do this?” She asks, and Lexa nods a yes. “Alright, cool.” Someone next to Clarke hands her the piece, and Clarke takes it, inhaling and passing it to Lexa. She holds her breath and watches as Lexa inhales the smoke, passing the piece to Monty immediately after she does. She lets it out quickly and coughs a little. 

 

Clarke guesses it’s been quite some time since Lexa’s done this. 

 

She finally releases her breath, letting the smoke out in a calm, even breath.

 

“You ok?” Clarke asks, and Lexa’s still coughing. “Want some water?” She asks again, and Lexa nods through her coughs. She stands, pulling Lexa up with her. “Sorry to disappoint, guys, but we’re gonna head inside. See you all soon.” It’s met with noncommittal sounds of acknowledgement, and they head inside.

 

Clarke goes to fill up a cup of water for Lexa, who takes it gratefully, drinking it until her coughs subside. 

 

Clarke knows it won’t have made any difference for her, she won’t feel any different for having smoked, but she doubts Lexa cares, either. 

 

Lexa yawns, and Clarke looks at her with concern.

 

“Tired?” She asks her.

 

“Yes, I am. Do you mind if I head home? It’s been fun, but I’m starting to crash and want to get home before I fall asleep here or something.” Lexa says, and before she really even has time to think about it, she’s saying,

 

“Want me to walk you home?”

 

Once she’s said it, she feels instantly embarrassed. Lexa lives next door. It’s not a long walk, she can definitely make it on her own. Clarke doubts she wants her company for such a short walk.

 

“If you want, sure.” Lexa says, and it’s quiet, probably due mostly to the fact that Lexa is tired.

 

“Ok, did you bring anything or is this it?” Clarke asks.

 

“This is it.” Lexa says.

 

“Alright. We can go out the side door, so we don’t have to go through the crowd of people to get out.” Clarke says, and Lexa smiles gratefully.

 

They walk in silence to the door, and Clarke debates saying something, but the silence is comfortable, so she leaves it alone. 

 

They walk quietly down the path towards Lexa’s house, the sound of the party fading ever slightly behind them. Clarke notes to herself that she should probably end the party soon. It’s late, and even she is tired. Plus, she doesn’t want to keep Lexa up (again).

 

It’s a beautiful night. Clear sky, lots of stars, moon shining through the trees. The breeze is just warm enough that it’s not unbearable to be outside this late. It’s the kind of night Clarke loves, and she hopes there are a lot more like it this summer. 

 

They get to Lexa’s door, and Lexa smiles at her. 

 

“Thanks for walking with me. I’m glad I didn’t fall asleep on the walk home.” Lexa says, and she moves to embrace Clarke. It’s not really a hug, but it’s something. It’s very unlike Lexa, or what she knows of her, so she accepts, figuring she’s probably some weird combination of drunk and tired. Clarke pulls back a little and smiles at her. She looks really pretty. The moon is shining on her face and her eyes are sparkling a little. They’re close. Very close. Clarke can feel Lexa’s warm breath on her face. Lexa looks at her like she might say something, and Clarke looks down at her lips, as if to will them to speak. She looks back to Lexa’s eyes, which are currently focused on Clarke’s lips as well. She shifts impossibly closer, and Clarke thinks, even hopes that maybe she’ll kiss her.

 

She’s about to close her eyes, when they hear a loud bark from inside, and it causes them to jump apart.

 

Of course.

 

Lexa’s dog. When wasn’t she around to cause trouble? Clarke laughs a little, and Lexa’s clearly very embarrassed. She’s turningpretty red and looking down at her feet.

 

“Well, thank you Clarke.” She says, moving to open the door, and Clarke grins. She feels smug knowing she’s part of the reason Lexa’s so flustered. 

 

“Anytime, Lexa.” Clarke tells her. Lexa gets the door open, and turns back towards her. Clarke can’t help but peek briefly inside. 

 

The first thing she sees is Heda.

 

The second is a vase of flowers sitting on her counter, wilted, but clearly the ones she gave Lexa (to which Clarke still suspects she is allergic).

 

Her grin widens, and Lexa gives her a look.

 

“Why are you smiling?” Lexa asks.

 

“No reason. Night, Lexa.” Clarke says, still grinning as she turns around to walk away.

 

As she’s walking away, she hears a quiet, “Goodnight, Clarke.” And she continues to smile for her walk home.

 

She’s found her new favorite side of Lexa. The fully-embarrassed and clearly flustered Lexa. She smiles as she thinks of how she can possibly bring that side out again. 

 

When she gets home, she walks in her front door, only to Bellamy, messy hair and clothes, clambering down the stairs.

 

She makes a note to tease Raven about that in the morning.

 

For now, she goes about cleaning up and starting to clear her house out. 

 

She also doesn’t stop smiling.

 

And, really, why would she? After all, she finally did get her jell-o shot with hot neighbor girl.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4, or the one where Lexa's an enormous sap, Clarke has a pretty shitty day, and Raven says what everyone's thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry this took me so long! My computer broke and I couldn't finish the chapter until just now, but this chapter is a little longer so hopefully you forgive me! As always, thanks so much for reading and commenting and all that. It makes me so happy :) follow me @ clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com and ask me questions or yell at me about this or whatever your heart desires, I love hearing from you there (I also liveblog writing p regularly and such there).
> 
> warnings: alcohol, death mentions, drowning mentions

Chapter 4

 

* * *

 

 

It’s been three days since Clarke’s last party, and Lexa has officially given up on trying to avoid getting to know her.

 

Where a week ago, Lexa would have tried her best to avoid any and all contact with her neighbor, now she finds herself in near-constant contact with her. It’s at the point where Lexa almost regrets giving the girl her phone number, because, sure, she likes Clarke, but she really couldn’t care less about who her roommate is sleeping with or what she has decided on for dinner. 

 

So far, neither of them has brought up what happened at Lexa’s door after the party, and Lexa’s starting to think she may have imagined it. She has to have. Clarke has her pick of beautiful girls up at the lake, and surely she’d never show any interest in her. Plus, she was pretty drunk that night, so she wouldn’t be surprised if it was all in her imagination. Also, the morning after the party, Clarke had showed up at her door with coffee (thankfully, as Lexa was experiencing her first hangover) and hadn’t said anything about it. They were together for a while that morning, so there was ample opportunity for it to be brought up, yet it wasn’t. So, Lexa is truly convinced she either imagined it or had embarrassed herself to the point where Clarke is pretending she doesn’t remember. Either way, Lexa certainly doesn’t plan on bringing it up.

 

Lexa hates texting, though. She can never discern what anything means. She tries to stay as simple as possible, not wanting anything she says to be misconstrued. Her answers are always short and to the point, where Clarke’s are full of pointless information and emojis. (Which Lexa does use, but very rarely.) 

 

She is learning more and more about Clarke through texting her, though.

 

For instance, Clarke has always been interested in art for as long as she can remember. She knows Clarke’s mother is a doctor and that she is an only child. She says she and her mother don’t have the best of relationships, and Lexa doesn’t probe further. Lexa’s told her a little about her family, too. She tells Clarke she understands not having a good relationship with her parents, since her foster parents were almost never there or supportive, and essentially pretended she didn’t exist. Clarke tells Lexa she’s jealous of her ambition, and wishes she’d been able to move out earlier to do more with her art. 

 

She also knows Clarke’s father is dead, though she hasn’t mentioned him beyond that. She figures if Clarke is going to tell her, she will. It’s not like they’re really friends, so she shouldn’t feel obligated to tell her. Lexa isn’t sure if she’s ready to tell her about Gustus or his death anytime soon. Lexa’s honestly a little shocked at how open Clarke is. 

 

She’s also learned a few more trivial things about the girl. She now knows things like the fact that her favorite color is sky blue (it was the color of her fathers eyes and it’s one of the clearest things she remembers about him), that she loves apples and peanut butter and it’s one of her favorite foods (which Lexa doesn’t quite see the appeal of), and that she’s a total sucker for Disney movies. It makes her laugh to think of her party animal neighbor curled up in bed, singing along to Beauty and the Beast (apparently her favorite). Lexa thinks it’s a little (maybe a lot) endearing, and very… Well there’s no other word for it than cute. 

 

Despite her initial goal of isolation, Lexa’s actually almost enjoying getting to know her neighbors. Well, really only Clarke for the most part. 

 

All of this just leads to Lexa, sitting with Heda in her living room with a small smile spreading on her face when she gets a text from Clarke.

 

**Clarke 4:13 PMLexa I’m booooored**

 

Lexa rolls her eyes at the text and sends her a quick reply.

 

**Lexa4:13 PMThen do something.**

 

For someone so socially active, Clarke seemed to send her a lot of “I’m bored.” texts.

 

**Clarke 4:15 PMThere’s nothing to do!!**

 

**Lexa4:15 PMGo paint. Or do something with one of your many friends.**

 

**Clarke 4:16 PMRaven’s too tired from last night (ew) and O’s with Lincoln and I don’t wanna hang with the boys**

 

**Clarke 4:16 PMCome hang out with me. I bet you’re just sitting around sneezing. Because you’re allergic to flowers. But you kept mine. :)))))**

 

Lexa wrinkles her nose at the text. Somehow Clarke had managed to get it out of her that she was allergic to flowers. She told Clarke that if she told anyone else, she’d let Heda loose on her garden and refuse to pay for any new ones. Clarke reluctantly agreed to not tell anyone else, but that hadn’t stopped her from making fun of Lexa almost constantly.

 

**Lexa4:18 PMShut up, Clarke.**

 

**Clarke 4:19 PMYou’re such a sap!!!!!!!!!!!!**

 

**Lexa4:20 PMI was just being nice. It would’ve been rude to just throw out your peace offering.**

 

She tells Clarke this every time. She refuses to believe it even now.

 

**Clarke 4:26 PMUhuh. Which is why you still have them even though they are DEAD & you are ALLERGIC to them**

 

She has a point. Lexa sits and formulates a response, but she figures she really doesn’t have one. She glares at the now very dead flowers. Thankfully, since they _are_ dead, there’s a lot less sneezing. Still the occasional singular sneeze, but nothing more. Not like her near-constant sneezes when she first brought the flowers in.

 

**Clarke 4:29 PMGot you there**

 

She wasn’t about to let Clarke win the argument.

 

**Lexa4:31 PMMaybe I’m just lazy and forgot to throw them out.**

 

It’s a lie. She knows it, and she’s sure Clarke knows it. Her house is otherwise pretty immaculate, so clearly there’s a reason she hasn’t thrown them out.

 

**Clarke 4:32 PMOr, maybe you’re a fucking sap and think the flowers are pretty and you wish you had more to look at all the time and think of your amazing neighbor??**

 

She’s not wrong. But, Lexa thinks maybe she can one up Clarke. Heda paws at her hand as she types out a response to Clarke.

 

**Lexa 4:34 PMPerhaps they remind me of our friendship and I keep them around even though they’re dead because our friendship will never die.**

 

It’s unlike her to say something like that so she hopes Clarke will know it’s a joke.

 

It takes Clarke a bit to respond and Lexa wonders if Clarke considers them friends. Lexa truthfully don’t even know if she does. She probably thinks it’s weird that they have known each other for less than a month and Lexa just said what she did. She goes to send a text to Clarke to let her know she was only joking, when a text comes in from Clarke.

 

**Clarke4:40 PMEW LEXA YOU’RE SUCH A SAP THAT WAS SO GROSS**

 

Lexa sighs in relief. Clarke, thankfully, doesn’t seem think it’s too strange that Lexa called them friends. 

 

**Clarke4:41 PMWhy are you like this??????????**

 

She smiles and puts her phone down for a minute, getting up to see what Heda, who is still pawing at her arm, could possibly want. She sees that she’s out of food, so she feeds her and fills up her water. She walks back over and picks up her phone to find two more texts from Clarke.

 

**Clarke4:47 PMLexa come backkkkk**

 

**Clarke4:47 PMI’m still BORED. HELP!!!!!!**

 

**Lexa 4:48 PMDo something.**

 

**Clarke4:48 PMI am. I’m texting you :)))))))**

 

**Lexa4:49 PM How does that solve your boredom problem, Clarke? Isn’t texting about boredom inherently boring?**

 

**Clarke4:49 PM…………..you’re inherently boring.**

 

**Clarke4:49 PMThat was lame… Sorry. Come hang out with me pleaseeeeee**

 

**Lexa 4:50 PMWhat if I’m busy?**

 

She’s not.

 

**Clarke4:51 PMI know you’re not. Come down to the lake with me and hang out. You can swim and I can draw and you can try and convince me you’re not a sap. It’ll be great fun!!!!!!**

 

She sits and contemplates Clarke’s suggestion. She figures if she goes, Clarke will stop texting her, and that’s really all Lexa wants. She truly hates texting. And Clarke is impossible to read over text. Plus, she hasn’t gone for a swim in a while, and it’s still hot despite the fact that it’s getting pretty late. What harm could a quick swim do? She relents and picks up her phone, heading upstairs to change as she types out a response to Clarke, making sure to defend herself first.

 

**Lexa 4:55 PMI’m not a sap. Shut up.**

 

**Lexa 4:55 PMBut I’ll come.**

 

**Clarke4:56 PMYES!!!!!!!!**

 

**Clarke4:58 PMDon’t bring your dumb dog. As much fun as it would be to watch you pretend you aren’t allergic as fuck to flowers again, I don’t want her “chasing another squirrel” in my garden**

 

Lexa rolls her eyes. Looks like she wasn’t gonna win this battle anytime soon.

 

**Lexa4:59 PMHeda isn’t dumb. But I’ll leave her at home. See you in a few minutes, Clarke.**

 

With that, she puts her phone down on her bed, grabs one of her more plain bathing suits out of her drawer (noting the one covered in mud stains that’s hiding towards the back and smiling softly at it) and moves to the bathroom to change.

 

Clarke is nothing if not persistent.

 

And Lexa definitely doesn’t hate it.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s waiting by the lake for all of two minutes before Lexa shows up.

 

She looks… Good.

 

Great, actually. 

 

She really is some truly unfair kind of beautiful.

 

Her hair is (unsurprisingly) braided, and she’s almost glowing, and Clarke notices now that Lexa has several tattoos, which she’s honestly shocked she hadn’t noticed before. She has one that looks like a tree on the inside of her right arm, which she can’t believe she hadn’t noticed. She also has one on the left side of her ribs that looks like the silhouette of mountains. Clarke wonders if maybe she’s spent a little too much staring at Lexa’s face to notice anything else. 

 

In her fascination with Lexa’s tattoos, Clarke almost forgets to say hello to her. 

 

She doesn’t, though.

 

“Hi Lexa.” She says, smiling at her. 

 

“Hi Clarke.” She returns, and she smiles too. It’s smaller than Clarke’s but it’s beautiful nonetheless. Clarke continues to smile, but she remembers her and Lexa’s earlier conversation and decides to tease her. 

 

“So, did you take your allergy medicine?” She asks, and Lexa narrows her eyes at her, but she doesn’t back down. She feels smug knowing she has this over Lexa’s head.

 

“Shut up, Clarke, or I’ll turn around and go home.” Lexa shoots back, and Clarke feigns hurt, and watches as Lexa sheds the towel she was wearing and walks down to the lake, starting to wade in. Clarke notices another tattoo on her left shoulder blade as she walks away. It’s a flower. Not just any flower, but a black rose with a tiny white rose next to it, which she knows could have many different meanings. She wonders whether they mean something to Lexa or if she just thinks they’re pretty. Though, Lexa doesn’t strike her as the type to get a tattoo just because it’s pretty. She follows Lexa into the water, though she’s still wearing her t-shirt over her bathing suit, only wading in up to her knees, before continuing to tease Lexa.

 

“Oh come on, Lexa, just admit it. You kept my flowers cuz you’re a fuckin’ sap and they remind you of me, your favorite neighbor of all time.” Clarke says, and Lexa huffs quietly.

 

“Nope.” She says, and Clarke refuses to accept it, since Lexa is completely evading her eyes and no person who’s telling the truth is this persistent in avoiding eye contact. 

 

“You’re a big old sap who kept a bunch of flowers you’re SUPER allergic to just so you wouldn’t offend the neighbor who you _barely_ knew. You’re a _sap_.” Clarke says, and Lexa’s clearly had enough, because she reaches down and splashes Clarke. “Oh, hell no Lexa. Don’t think that by starting a splash war with me you will change the subject, because you won’t. And I won’t fight back.”

 

“Clarke, you’re not going to get me to say I am a sap, because I am not. I am just nice.” Lexa tells her. She’s so stubborn and Clarke hates it.

 

“That’s not true and we both know it. I’m getting out of the water now. Have a nice swim, Sneezy.” Clarke says, and she leaves the water quickly, not waiting for Lexa’s response, but chuckling quietly at her own joke. She sits down on her towel, taking her shirt off to lay it in the sun to dry, and grabs her sketchbook and pencil out of her bag and sets about sketching the lake. 

 

She has about a thousand sketches of the lake from this summer and she hasn’t even been here a month. It’s both one of her favorite and least favorite things to draw. It’s so vast that there’s such a multitude of things to focus on. She usually ends up caught up in drawing the middle of the lake, littered with sailboats and canoes from the various camps and homes around the lake. She draws each one, imagining the people sitting in the boats, enjoying the gentle summer’s breeze that carries them across the lake and though the water.

 

She’s halfway through drawing the mountains rising over the tops of the trees when she sees Lexa getting out of the water.

 

She shouldn’t stare, she knows that.

 

But she does all the same.

 

Her eyes can’t help but follow the drops of water that make their way down her neck, over her collar bone and down from her shoulders over her arms. 

 

She looks up to see Lexa’s blushing ever slightly and smirks. Flustered Lexa is clearly back. 

 

“How was your swim, Lexa?” She asks. 

 

“It was nice. The water is still cool. Not like it will be in August, I’m sure. It’s still not fully warmed.” She says, and Clarke looks at her again. She can see goosebumps on her arms and legs. Whether they’re from the change in temperature or something else, Clarke has no idea. 

 

“Come sit in the sun, it’s much warmer over here than in the water.” Clarke says, dragging her eyes very purposefully over Lexa’s body, and when her blush deepens, Clarke goes right back to her drawing, waiting for Lexa to grab her towel and join her.

 

When she does, they sit in silence for a bit, Lexa lying with her eyes closed to her right, soaking up the sun and Clarke sitting and quietly drawing the lake still. The sounds of the lake make up for their lack of conversation, with the gentle scratch of Clarke’s pencil being the only sound coming from either of them. It’s nice. Clarke thinks it’s one of the more blissful moments she’s had so far this summer. She smiles lightly as she continues sketching.

 

They stay like that for some time, before she hears Lexa shift slightly to sit up, before speaking.

 

“Why didn’t you swim?” She asks, and Clarke frowns slightly. She knew this was coming. It always does. 

 

“I don’t like to. I haven’t in years.” She says, hoping that will satisfy Lexa.

 

“It’s so nice and beautiful. I don’t know how you could let it go to waste.” Lexa says, and she knows it isn’t meant to be an attack, but Clarke gets defensive anyways.

 

“Well, it’s easy, really. I think about the fact that somewhere around ten people die from unintentional drowning every day, and somewhere around 20 percent are children. There’s no lifeguard around or anything so it’s not like there’d be anyone to save us, plus, drowning is the fifth most common cause of death in the states. Water related deaths are more common than strokes, which you’d think would be more common. So I stay out of the water.” She pauses briefly to collect herself, before adding, “Sure is pretty, though.” She knows, somewhere way deep down that she’s being a little irrational. She knows she can swim, in fact she’s pretty good at it, but she still doesn’t. She’s seen firsthand how dangerous water can be, and no matter how nice the lake is, she never swims. 

 

“Oh.” Lexa says. Despite herself, she feels like she owes Lexa some kind of explanation. She did kind of just go off on her. They just became friends, or at least Clarke assumes what they are, and things like that tend to scare people off, and she definitely doesn’t want to do that. She bites her lip, taking a deep breath and tucking her pencil into the spiral of her sketchbook, putting it down before shifting a little so she’s looking at Lexa when she starts to talk.

 

“My dad drowned when I was 14.” She says, taking a deep breath to prepare herself to tell Lexa the story. “We were out sailing. Him, me and our family friends. It was on the ocean, which is obviously more dangerous because of currents and waves and whatever. Anyways, we were out sailing, and we sort of got caught up in a storm. It was bad, like, terrible. Strong winds, huge swells. It came out of nowhere. In the thick of it all, the boat, uh, it kind of capsized.” Clarke says, and she takes a breath. It’s never easy for her to tell this story. “Wells, my friend, he was struggling to stay up. We all had lifejackets, but, well, the currents and waves and the storm kind of rendered them a little useless, and Wells wasn’t as good at swimming as the rest of us. My dad cared so much about everyone, so of course, he tried to kind of help Wells float, and holy him up a little. But no 14 year old boy is light, and we were out there a _long_ time before the storm ended.” She pauses again, swallowing thickly. She can feel the tears at the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall. “He, uh, he didn’t make it. Neither of them did. He died trying to save my best friend, and I just ended up losing them both. So, you know, now I don’t really see the appeal of swimming. I stick to the shores for the most part.” She finishes, and she blinks back the tears that are so close to falling. 

 

She looks to Lexa, who is looking back at her.

 

But she’s not giving her the look she usually gets when she tells the story.

 

The sympathetic, ‘I’m so sorry, you poor innocent baby, blah blah blah’ look.

 

Instead, Lexa’s looking at her like she understands. Which scares Clarke, because she doesn’t want anyone to understand.

 

Understanding means they’ve been through something so terrible that their entire life was turned around and they can’t escape it.

 

Clarke wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone.

 

There’s a prolonged silence, and then Lexa speaks.

 

“I lost my younger brother this year. His name was Gustus. He was hit by a car. Died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. It wasn’t easy, so, I understand.” She offers up, and Clarke watches as her expression falters ever slightly, before she regains composure. 

 

Clarke doesn’t really think before she puts her hand over Lexa’s where it rests on her own towel and squeezes it gently. Lexa looks down at it, before looking up at Clarke and smiling slightly. 

 

Clarke desperately wants to shift their topic of conversation, and she almost does, but she feels like maybe telling Lexa could help. She picks her hand up off of Lexa’s to show her the tattoo on her wrist. 

 

“I got this a couple of months ago. It’s baby’s breath. His favorite flower. God only knows why, it’s such a boring one. But he loved it, so I got this to remember him by. It’s kinda dumb, but… It’s him.” She says, and Lexa reaches out and gently runs her finger down the length of the tattoo, and Clarke watches her curiously. Lexa retracts her hand and turns her arm out a little so Clarke sees the tattoo on her right arm.

 

“It’s a cypress tree.” Lexa says. “It’s a symbol of mourning or death. I got it right after Gustus died.” And Clarke nods. 

 

She wishes that this wasn’t something they could bond over. She wishes that they both hadn’t experienced such great losses. She wishes for a world where they can’t have this conversation, and they just sit here and laugh about Lexa’s allergies and Clarke joins Lexa in the water.

 

But that isn’t the case.

 

So, she decides to ask about Lexa’s other tattoos to distract herself from thinking about her past.

 

“What do the others mean?” Clarke asks, and Lexa smiles.

 

“The mountains,” She says as she gestures to the tattoo on her ribs, “Are to remind me of home. I got them when I was feeling particularly out of place in New York.” She pauses, and Clarke nods in encouragement. Lexa then continues. “The roses, on my shoulder, the black one is for love lost, and sort of a farewell to my first love, Costa. She died, too, pretty young. The white one is for innocence. They remind me that some are lost too soon.” Clarke looks to her eyes, and she smiles. It’s the same wistful smile Lexa had given her earlier, because, again, Clarke understands, though she wishes she didn’t. Lexa continues on, and Clarke realizes that she’s missed yet another of Lexa’s tattoos, as Lexa points to her ankle. “And the star on my ankle is… Well, truthfully, I just thought it was pretty.” Clarke smiles at that. 

 

“I have this bird,” She says, pointing to the little minimalist bird on her hip, “And I got it on my 18th birthday cuz I was pissed at my mom. I think it means freedom or something, but I just wanted to do something that would piss my mom off. It worked. But, then again, pissing my mom off is _not_ hard.”

 

Lexa laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound. It’s goofy and carefree and everything Lexa seems to pretend that she isn’t. 

 

“Does she support your art?” Lexa asks, and it’s shy. She’s treading lightly, which is understandable. Clarke sort of blew up at her earlier.

 

“Not really. She wanted me to be a doctor. Which was never going to happen. I’ve been painting since before I can remember, and drawing since before then. No matter how many fake stethoscopes my mom gave me, I just kept putting them on the ground and picking up a paintbrush again. It makes things hard for us. She’s full of empty promises and disappointment. I’ve learned to expect the least from her and be surprised when she does anything remotely supportive.” Clarke says, and Lexa nods along almost supportively.

 

“I understand that.” Lexa tells her, and Clarke still hates it. There are so many things in her life she wants so desperately for no other person to understand, yet Lexa seems to understand them all.

 

It both fascinates and terrifies her that they’ve shared so many similar experiences. Lost family, lost love, shitty family. 

 

“What is your favorite thing to paint, Clarke?” Lexa asks, and it dawns on Clarke that she could probably invite Lexa to the gallery at some point to show her her paintings, maybe when they’ve gotten to know each other better.

 

“Flowers. They’re so beautiful and there are so many different kinds. I just love to paint them.” She tells Lexa, who smiles like she’s never heard anything that makes more sense in her life. Understandable, Clarke’s never been subtle about her love for flowers. 

 

“Of course, I should have guessed.” She says, and Clarke smiles too.

 

“Yeah, so, you’re not the only one with an unhealthy attachment to flowers. Only, mine doesn’t reduce me to a runny-eyed sniffling mess, unlike yours.” Clarke says, and just like that, Lexa’s smile disappears almost entirely to be replaced with a very unthreatening glare. 

 

“You really are never letting this go, are you?” Lexa asks, and Clarke shrugs.

 

“Nope. I mean, I’m all for appreciating beauty, you really take it to a whole other level.” Clarke says, and Lexa shoves her gently. Clarke kicks at her leg and Lexa huffs.

 

“You’re such a child, Clarke.” She says, and Clarke smiles smugly.

 

“You’re only saying that cuz you know you can only keep up this lie so much longer before you admit that you are a huge sap with a heart of fluff that kept my flowers because they reminded you of me.” Clarke says.

 

“But then I would be lying, Clarke.” Lexa says, reclining to lie down again, covering her eyes with her arms to shield them from the sun.

 

Clarke wonders how it’s fair that Lexa looks so beautiful just lying there.

 

She stares unabashedly at Lexa, trying to memorize the way she looks lying so peacefully next to her, to take in every inch of her. 

 

“Clarke.” Lexa says, and her head snaps up to see if she’s been caught.

 

She hasn’t, thankfully.

 

“Mhm.” Clarke mumbles, shifting to lie down herself, moving her sketchbook from her towel so she can spread out.

 

“Oh, nothing. You were just quiet for more than five seconds so I assumed you had dropped dead.” Lexa says, and Clarke’s mouth falls open in shock. She’s not about to let Lexa best her though.

 

“Bitch.” She says, but she doesn’t mean it. “I was just admiring the view.” She says, and it’s unmistakably flirtatious. And not untrue. Only the view was Lexa, and there was a lot to admire. Lexa removes her arms from her face and turns her head towards Clarke, only to find her staring right back. Lexa’s blush is instantaneous.

 

She knows exactly what Clarke meant and Clarke knows that. 

 

“What are you doing tonight Lexa?” Clarke asks, and Lexa raises an eyebrow slightly.

 

“I don’t know, Clarke. Probably curling up with a glass of wine and my dog and having a quiet night in. I might read or something.” She tells Clarke, and Clarke gives her a look of mild disgust.

 

“Oh my _god_. You just bored me half to death with that. Come hang out with us tonight.” Clarke says, and Lexa looks like she’s trying to come up with a reason to say no, so Clarke reaches over to put a hand on her arm reassuringly to stop her thoughts. “It’s not another party. We’re having a little bonfire tonight on the beach. It’s just me, Raven, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, Monty, Jasper and a few others. You don’t have to worry about getting super drunk and embarrassing yourself again.” Clarke says, and Lexa stares at her incredulously, and Clarke remembers almost, _maybe,_ kissing Lexa and blushes a little. 

 

“Clarke, I did not embarrass myself.” Lexa says, and Clarke smirks as a blush quickly covers Lexa’s cheeks. Lexa is one of the most awkward people Clarke’s gotten to know, and it’s arguably pretty cute. 

 

“Tell that to the blush that’s taking over your face.” Clarke says, and Lexa moves her hands to cover her cheeks.

 

“It’s not a blush, Clarke. It’s just a sunburn.” Lexa says, and Clarke snorts quietly at how ridiculous Lexa is being. 

 

“The sun must be pretty strong if it can bring out a sunburn in less than 30 seconds, then.” Clarke says and Lexa buries her head in her hands.

 

“Shut up, Clarke.” Lexa says, though it’s muffled by her hands. Clarke’s feeling bold so she takes it as bait.

 

“Make me.” She says, looking at Lexa challengingly.

 

Lexa uncovers her eyes and looks at Clarke, who stares back, unwilling to back down. It’s silent as Lexa simply stares at her, an unreadable expression on her face.

 

“Clarke…” She finally says, and Clarke raises an eyebrow challengingly right back. 

 

“What?” Clarke returns, and she knows she’s going to win. Lexa doesn’t move. “You’re still blushing, Elmo.” Clarke tells her, and a tiny smile flickers across Lexa’s face before she turns it into her own war face.

 

“That insult was weak, Clarke.” Lexa says, and with that she sits up, definitely trying to assert some sort of dominance.

 

“The crimson color of your cheeks begs to differ.” Clarke says.

 

“Enough.” Lexa says, before shifting and covering Clarke’s mouth with her hand. Once Lexa’s hand is on her mouth, Clarke grabs her wrist to try and remove it, but Lexa _is_ strong so it’s harder than she planned. Clarke mumbles profanities into Lexa’s palm (and Lexa laughs quietly at Clarke’s feeble attempt) until she’s finally able to remove her hand after a long struggle. She then sits up quickly, holding on to Lexa’s wrist and pushing her to the side, and Lexa falls over a little, allowing Clarke a few seconds to think about what she’s gonna do next.

 

“HA! Nice try.” Clarke says, and Lexa licks her lips as her eyes meet Clarke’s in a glare. She pushes Clarke back and sits with her arms crossed on her own towel, staring down at Clarke.

 

“Do you always have to be right?” She asks, and Clarke laughs.

 

“I don’t have to be. I just am.” Clarke says, propping herself up on her elbows, and Lexa rolls her eyes.

 

“Whatever Clarke. Unless you can give me a reason I should be embarrassed about the other night, I think I will continue to stand by my original statement.” Lexa says.

 

“Glad to know that your dog interrupting us on your porch doesn’t embarrass you at all, then.” Clarke says, and it’s out there. Lexa’s blush miraculously deepens even more, and Clarke knows she’s won.

 

“Fine.” Lexa mumbles, looking down at her knees, and Clarke smirks.

 

“HA! I win and you’re a big ole sap who’s blushing like a tomato.” Clarke says, and Lexa looks over at her.

 

“Will you shut the fuck up already?” Lexa says, and Clarke’s jaw drops in shock. It’s the first time she’s heard Lexa swear and, frankly, it’s pretty hot.

 

“And also clearly a sore loser.” Clarke says, and Lexa shoots her another glare, which would scare Clarke a little if she didn’t already know Lexa was a harmless softie. “But seriously, will you come to the bonfire? Please?” She asks. Lexa steels her gaze for a few more seconds, before softening at Clarke’s hopeful smile.

 

“I’ll come. On one condition.” Lexa says. Clarke has no idea what’s coming, but she decides whatever it is should be manageable.

 

“What’s the condition?” Clarke asks, and now it’s Lexa’s turn to smile smugly.

 

“You come over some night this week and have quiet night at my place without any drinking or loud music or anything.” Lexa tells her, and Clarke laughs. A quiet night? That’s what she wants? Easy. “Why are you laughing?” She asks, and Clarke stops her laughing, sitting up to explain.

 

“I thought you were gonna make me be your personal servant or something with the look you were giving me. A quiet night? I can do that no problem.” Clarke says, extending her hand to shake Lexa’s, who takes it cautiously. Clarke shakes her hand briefly before pulling Lexa onto the ground and standing up herself in one fluid motion. She grabs her towel, sketchpad and t-shirt before starting to run off.

 

“Clarke!” Lexa yells after her, and Clarke turns around briefly to look at a very grumpy looking Lexa, covered in sand, not even trying to get up from where she’s lying down in the sand.

 

“Sorry, Lexa! I never lose!” Clarke says, and Lexa shakes her head, before slowly moving to get up. “I’ll text you about tonight in a bit. See you then!” Clarke yells to her, before turning around to walk up the path to her house.

 

She smiles to herself as she walks back, remembering how cute grumpy, flustered Lexa is.

 

She pulls out her phone to send Lexa a quick text, deciding that there’s still some teasing to be done.

 

**Clarke6:37 PMYou look cute when you’re flustered**

 

Nothing wrong with a little harmless flirting, right?

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa spends about an hour in the shower trying to get all the sand off herself and out of her hair.

 

When she gets out she has three texts from Clarke.

 

**Clarke6:37 PMYou look cute when you’re flustered**

 

**Clarke7:15 PMBonfire at 8:30. Bring anything you want to drink (we have alcohol but if you want anything else…) There’s also gonna be hot dogs & typical campfire food. See you then Elmo.**

 

**Clarke7:31 PMPS thanks for curing me of my boredom**

 

Lexa smiles despite herself. And blushes, which she really, really wishes she wasn’t, if only so that Clarke would stop calling her Elmo. It was one of the more stupid insults Lexa had ever heard. She ignores the first text, deciding only to respond to the second.

 

**Lexa7:42 PMSee you then. Stop calling me Elmo.**

 

Once she’s sends that, she goes to get dressed. She figures it’ll probably be a little chilly, so she opts for a pair of leggings that stop a little above her ankles, a loose white tank top and a flannel. She braids her hair quickly and throws on a really minimal amount of makeup, figuring it’ll be pretty dark and it’s not like she cares what anyone thinks. She grabs her phone and goes downstairs to feed Heda. 

 

She’s laying quietly by her food dish, but the minute Lexa walks in the room she gets up immediately to greet her, and follows Lexa as she goes into the cupboard by the sink to get her food out and walks over to her dish to pour it. Once she’s satisfied, she puts the food down and looks over to her clock on the wall. 8:18. Perfect.

 

She goes to her fridge and grabs a Coke out, figuring if she does end up drinking any alcohol, she’ll want something that actually tastes good to go with it. She slips on a pair of flip flops, walking over to Heda and giving her a little pat goodbye before heading out the door. She can hear laughter almost the second she’s out the door, and it makes her smile a little to think that Clarke’s friends are willing to welcome her so graciously to spend time with them (or, at least Clarke is). 

 

When she gets down to the beach, she sees Clarke and all her friends sitting around the fire on towels and blankets. Lincoln is first to see her, and he waves her over.

 

“Lexa, hey. come sit down at the fire.” Octavia says from her spot next to Lincoln. She looks around the circle, looking for a place to sit. Clarke is very much sandwiched between Octavia and some girl Lexa doesn’t know, while Raven is resting her legs comfortably on the girl’s lap, leaning against a log. Lexa settles for siting to Lincoln’s right where there is no one else.

 

“Hi Lexa. Glad you actually came. Clarke said you were coming but I was betting on you not showing after all the crazy that happened last time.” Raven says, and Lexa decides to give her a small smile in response.

 

“Ignore her.” Lexa hears Clarke say, and she looks over to her. She has a smile on her face when she waves to Lexa. Lexa notes that she’s holding a bottle of alcohol in her other hand and seems to be sharing it with the girls on either side of her. “Hi Lexa. Hungry? Bellamy, Jasper and Monty are on their way over with the hot dogs and chips and whatnot.”

 

“I am pretty hungry, yes.” Lexa says, watching as the girl she does not know grabs the bottle of what looks like vodka out of Clarke’s hand and takes a rather hefty swig of it. Lexa watches with a slight frown as Clarke grabs at the bottle, and whispers something in the girl’s ear, causing her to giggle and shove Clarke gently into Octavia.

 

“Pretty thirsty, too.” She hears raven mumble, and she blushes as she watches Clarke hit raven on her right leg and glare at her a little.

 

“Watch it, Griffin. Just cuz I can’t feel in one leg doesn’t mean you have to hit the other one twice as hard.” Raven says, and Clarke mumbles something about Raven needing to behave under her breath.

 

“Lexa, do you know Harper?” Octavia asks, and Lexa assumes she’s talking about the girl sitting between Raven and Clarke, so she shakes her head no. “Oh, well this is Harper. She lives a little further along the lake with a couple of other girls who should be coming any minute now.” Octavia explains.

 

“Nice to meet you.” Lexa says, void of any emotion, but the girl smiles.

 

“You too, Lexa.” She tells her, and it sounds sincere. Clarke has, apparently, regained control of the vodka and is now drinking it like it’s soda.

 

“Clarke, just cuz you _can_ drink alcohol like it’s water doesn’t mean you _should_.” Raven tells her, grabbing the bottle from Clarke. “Plus you haven’t offered any to Lexa. Lexa, do you want some alcohol to go with your Coke?”

 

Lexa thinks about it a little, before deciding she may as well, so she nods, and Raven passes the bottle down to Clarke who hands it to Lincoln who gives it to her. She twists the cap of her Coke off before doing the same to the vodka. She takes a small swig of the vodka and then one of the Coke to quell the burn of the alcohol in her throat and the bitter taste in her mouth. She repeats this twice before passing the bottle back down. Lincoln gives her a questioning look and Lexa looks away a little sheepishly. Lexa looks over to where Clarke is sitting and comes to find that Clarke is looking right back at her, and her stomach sinks a little. The glow of the fire makes Clarke look even more ethereal than usual, and it’s almost upsetting how attractive she is. Lexa feels her face flush as Clarke continues to maintain eye contact with her.

 

Their little moment is interrupted by the sound of cheering and music, which is quickly approaching them. They all turn around to find Bellamy, Monty, Jasper and three other girls heading their way, each with an armful of food, or, in Jasper’s case, a small set of portable speakers. 

 

“Finally, guys. Hurry up and get your asses over here, I’m _starving_.” Octavia says, and the others nod in agreement.

 

“Sorry, sorry. We were on our way over when we bumped into Monroe, Echo and Fox.” Monty says as the six of them rush over to the blankets with the food. They set up blankets around the rest of the fire, careful to avoid the space where the smoke seems to be blowing, and pass around paper plates, plastic utensils and bags of food for everyone to choose from.

 

Lexa grabs a hot dog and a long skewer to cook it on and scoots closer to the fire to roast it. Monty settles himself next to her and starts telling her about a time when he and Jasper blew up hot dogs or something of that nature.

 

Lexa really isn’t listening, though. Her attention is almost entirely focused a bit to her left where Clarke and Harper are whispering to each other and Harper giggles incessantly at everything Clarke says. The girl is sure to touch Clarke and remind her she’s there every few seconds, as if she could forget with their close proximity.

 

There’s a truly unsettling feeling in Lexa’s stomach that only increases with each glance she makes to her left. 

 

She’s not stupid. She recognizes that she’s definitely a little jealous of the attention Clarke is giving the girl. It’s not like she expects Clarke to want to pay attention to her either. She knows that Clarke is a very social person, and she recognizes that Harper is very pretty, so it makes sense that Clarke is flirting with her. 

 

It’s just that she was hoping to spend more time with Clarke tonight. In the interest of getting to know her better, that is. 

 

Clarke is, however, a source of bright, and shining energy that refuses to be ignored. Without even trying, the girl commands attention. 

 

She really is like the sun.

 

The bright sun that’s there for everyone to admire and shines at all times, and even when it’s not seen, it’s still there.

 

A sun that, if she were to get too close, would consume her with fire and burn her to a charred version of her former self.

 

So bright and beautiful.

 

Why does she have to look so beautiful?

 

Lexa feels a nudge from her left and she looks up to see Lincoln cock his head toward the fire.

 

Her hot dog burned.

 

Figures.

 

Lincoln grabs the vodka from where it rests at Octavia’s feet and offers it to her. She gives him a small smile and takes it, taking a large swig before Lincoln says, “Not that it’s any of my business, but your staring is a little obvious. Are you alright, Lexa?”

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” She answers her question with one of her own, not able to give him an answer to his question, for she truly does not know.

 

She feels the alcohol starting to take effect, and she relaxes a little. She feels more loosened up and everything is a little warmer and blurrier.

 

“I don’t know, you’re drinking vodka out of the bottle and you’re holding the remnants of a charred hot dog on the stick in your hand. Seems like something is bothering you.” He says, and Lexa looks to Clarke, who’s absorbed in some conversation with Harper and Raven, and back to Lincoln with an unchanging expression.

 

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Lexa says, and Lincoln frowns a little. Lexa looks away from him, and stands to get herself another hot dog. She grabs one from the bag and pries the blackened first attempt off of her stick and replaces it with the new one. 

 

She needs to get Clarke out of her head.

 

Now. 

 

She goes back to sit next to Lincoln and hears someone walk up next to her.

 

It’s Clarke.

 

So much for getting her out of her head.

 

She sits down next to Lexa silently, and Lexa takes a deep breath before moving to hold her new hot dog over the fire.

 

“I see you suck at this.” Clarke says, and Lexa continues to stare at the hot dog silently, willing it not to burn. “Hello? Lexa?” She asks and Lexa makes a small sound of acknowledgement, her eyes never leaving the hot dog. “O-kay… Seems like someone’s upset that there’s yet another thing I am better at than her.” Clarke says, and Lexa shouldn’t be annoyed, but Clarke is so smug, and _why_ does she always insist on being the best?

 

“Sure, Clarke.” Lexa says. It’s clearly exasperated but doesn’t care. She’s hoping that maybe if Clarke leaves her alone it’ll make it easier to ignore her.

 

“Are you okay Lexa?” Clarke asks her and Lexa looks up at the sky briefly, taking a breath before looking over to Clarke.

 

She wants to be annoyed with her. She really does, but Clarke looks so sweet and she can feel the combined efforts of the alcohol and the fire warming her. Lexa softens a little.

 

“I’m fine, Clarke.” She says, and she hopes it’s convincing. 

 

She feels tires, and she knows it’s from the alcohol. It wipes her out fast. She yawns, and Clarke raises an eyebrow.

 

“You can’t seriously be tired already. It’s barely 9:30.” Clarke says and Lexa blinks hard to wake herself up.

 

“Of course not, just bored.” Lexa says and Clarke smiles mischievously, but before she can ask why, Lexa smells burning meat and looks to her hot dog.

 

Burnt, again.

 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me, Lexa. This is the saddest attempt at making a hot dog I have ever seen in my life. Give me the skewer.” Clarke says, holding out her hand. Lexa obliges and hands Clarke the skewer, slumping a little as she watches Clarke flick the second burnt hot dog into the fire before grabbing another and putting it on the skewer. She comes back to sit next to Lexa and start roasting the hot dog. “I have never seen a person struggle this hard with cooking a pre-cooked hot dog before.” She says, and Lexa looks at her with an unchanging expression.

 

“Whatever, Clarke.” She says, and the k is harsh when she says it. “Not all of us can be good at cooking and art and also pretty.” Lexa says. She doesn’t realize what she’s saying until it’s already out of her mouth. Clarke looks at her in surprise as Lexa covers her mouth. Clarke bursts out laughing and Lexa frowns a little. Nothing was funny about what just happened. In fact, it was pretty mortifying.

 

“Oh my god, Lexa. You’re drunk!” She says, and Lexa shakes her head no, looking around to make sure no one else heard Clarke (or even worse, herself). Thankfully, it looks as though everyone is too caught up in their own conversation to have heard her embarrass herself. 

 

“I am not. I have had just as much as you. I’m fine.” She defends, and Clarke continues to laugh.

 

“You’re a total lightweight!” Clarke says, and Lexa huffs at that.

 

“I probably just haven’t had enough to eat today.” She says and Clarke shakes her head, looking to the hot dog and realizing it’s done. She pulls it off the fire and motions for Lexa to hold her plate out. Lexa does so, and Clarke plops the hot dog on her plate with a smug look.

 

“Well, the _perfect_ hot dog I made for you should help with that.” She says with a smile, and Lexa picks it up and puts it in the bun. She holds it and takes a bite.

 

It’s pretty good, for a hot dog, but she’s not about to tell Clarke that.

 

“It’s alright.” She says nonchalantly, and Clarke just shakes her head.

 

“You’re absolutely incorrigible.” Clarke says, and Lexa shrugs, while continuing to eat her hot dog. She and Clarke sit in relative silence, as she enjoys her dinner.

 

She listens quietly as Raven tells a story about a _very_ hungover Clarke trying to do the walk of shame from someone’s house without alerting the parents to her presence, only to be caught and invited to their family breakfast, and spend the entire time having to pretend to be this girl’s friend from school who stayed the night taking care of her because she had a stomach bug. Clarke spends the story interjecting the occasional “Fuck you.” Or “I’m going to kill you tonight.” as everyone is treated with the mental image of Clarke having to eat breakfast with a girl who’s name she honestly did not remember’s family and pretend to .

 

Lexa laughs at this. She’s not sure whether it’s the alcohol or the fact that Clarke is sitting very close to her and giving her encouraging smiles, but she feels comfortable here.

 

A few more stories are exchanged, and a good amount of alcohol consumed as well, before a fairly drunk Octavia suggests they all go skinny dipping, to which there are many supportive responses. 

 

Lexa looks to Clarke, who looks visibly uncomfortable at the idea, and puts her hand over Clarke’s and smiles at her, trying to get rid of any worry she has. Clarke smiles back, and Lexa whispers to Clarke that she’ll stay out with her.

 

She declines the skinny dipping offer first, saying she’s cold, and Clarke volunteers to stay with her. Raven also declines, saying that it’s a little hard to skinny dip in a leg brace, so she’s going to head home. Bellamy offers to walk her home, and Clarke mimes gagging to Lexa who chuckles quietly. 

 

Once they’re all gone and it’s just the two of them, Clarke sighs in relief.

 

“Thanks for staying with me.” Clarke says quietly, and Lexa squeezes her hand gently.

 

“I’m really not much of a skinny dipper anyways. I’d rather just stay here and enjoy the warm fire.” Lexa says, and she takes her hand off of Clarke’s to lie back on the blanket. Clarke joins her, and she’s pressed up against Lexa, despite the abundance of space on the blanket.

 

She knows she’s drunk, and Clarke probably is too, or at least a little, and maybe that’s why they’re so comfortable around each other.

 

Or maybe they really are becoming friends.

 

Lexa closes her eyes and allows herself to enjoy the feel of the fire on her feet, the cool breeze on her face, and the warmth of Clarke against her right side. She listens to the crackle of the fire and the distant sounds of Clarke’s friends having fun skinny dipping. 

 

For a minute, she feels like she’s a kid again, spending her summers by the lake with Anya and Gustus, and she smiles as the feeling of nostalgia washes over her.

 

“Lexa.” Clarke says, interrupting Lexa’s peaceful moment.

 

“Yes, Clarke?” She responds, opening her eyes to turn her head to face Clarke.

 

They’re close.

 

So close.

 

Close enough that she could definitely kiss Clarke if she wanted to. Her eyes move down to Clarke’s lips briefly before trailing their way up to her eyes.

 

Lexa finds herself completely lost in them, drowning in the impossibly deep crystal blue color of her eyes.

 

Her mouth is dry, and she swallows. Clarke licks her lips, before speaking.

 

“You’re still a giant sap.” She says, and Lexa laughs hard. Of all the things Clarke could have said, she wasn’t expecting this, so she laughs harder and harder. It’s harder than she’s laughed in months. She attributes it to the arguably large quantity of alcohol in her system.

 

She laughs so hard that something that hasn’t happened in years happens.

 

She snorts.

 

The second it happens she covers her mouth in embarrassment, sitting up quickly to try and escape it.

 

“Did you just-“ Clarke starts.

 

“No.” Lexa says.

 

“You did.” Clarke says through a half chuckle, sitting up to try and catch Lexa in her lie.

 

“Nope.” Lexa says, shaking her head and avoiding all eye contact.

 

“You definitely did, Lexa. You just _snorted_.” Clarke says, and Lexa turns to glare at Clarke.

 

Which is so short lived.

 

She really can’t bring herself to do that.

 

“If you tell anyone, I will kill you.” Lexa says, and Clarke chuckles as Lexa feels a blush start to creep it’s way on to her cheeks. She’s thankful for the darkness to cover it up. The last thing she needs right now is Clarke calling her Elmo again.

 

“I don’t know why you’re so embarrassed. I think it’s kinda cute.” Clarke says, and Lexa rolls her eyes.

 

“Oh, bullshit. It’s so annoying. It hasn’t happened in years, really. Not since she died.” Despite the fact that she doesn’t say her name, Clarke seems to understand who she means. 

 

There’s a silence, and it’s choking Lexa. With this silence comes the thoughts of Costia, thoughts she’s tried to push so far back in her mind that she almost forgot they existed. Suddenly all she can see is her face and all she can hear is her laugh and it’s suffocating. She tries to focus on the girl next to her to try and escape the thoughts.

 

Her blue eyes, her golden hair, her illuminating smile.

 

Clarke, Clarke, Clarke. 

 

She won’t cry, she hasn’t since she was a kid.

 

She takes a deep breath and closes her eyes.

 

After a few moments, she hears Clarke speak.

 

“Lexa.” She says, and Lexa opens her eyes to look at Clarke. She gives her a small smile, and Lexa recognizes it. It’s the same one she gave Clarke earlier. Lexa looks to her, waiting for her to say something, anything. “It’s not annoying.” Clarke says, and Lexa can’t stop the tiny smile that forms on her face. Her voice is gentle and Lexa feels a little less broken.

 

It’s not a condolence. It’s not an apology. It’s nothing she would expect from someone after watching their heart break. 

 

It’s an understanding. 

 

Lexa knows there’s more there, but she doesn’t pry.

 

Clarke moves to sit next to her and rests her head on her shoulder. Lexa closes her eyes and sighs briefly, but opens them when she feels Clarke grab her hand and intertwine their fingers.

 

For once, Lexa lets Clarke win without a fight.

 

She figures there are worse battles to lose

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke spends the whole next day in a good mood.

 

It had been an interesting night.

 

At some point or another, they managed to fall asleep next to each other, only to be woken up by a soaking wet, half naked and very drunk Octavia.

 

Lexa left soon after, and Clarke offered to walk her home, but Lexa had suggested that maybe Octavia might benefit more from her help.

 

She said goodbye, and Clarke helped Lincoln walk a very drunk Octavia home, all the while wishing she was walking with Lexa instead.

 

When she got home, Raven was already asleep, so she just kind of crashed.

 

She woke up to Raven climbing into her bed, snuggling up next to her and asking her how her night went.

 

She deflected, not wanting to tell Raven about how Lexa had almost cried and she didn’t really know what to do about it.

 

Instead, she asked Raven how her walk home with Bellamy was, which resulted in a quick punch to the bicep and a swift exit from her bed.

 

Other than that, Clarke had spent most of her day alone in the office which she had turned into a makeshift studio. It was a rainy day, and she figured she could use the time to paint, so paint she did.

 

She painted whatever came into her mind: flowers, trees, the lake, really anything and everything she could thing of she painted.

 

She painted without interruption. Raven knew better than to come in while she was painting and Clarke never brings her phone with her when she goes to paint.

 

That’s why when she finally leaves to studio for dinner and checks her phone, she finds six texts, two from Lexa, two from Octavia, one from Monty and one from her mother. She opens each.

 

**Lexa2:13 PMThis hangover is the seventh circle of hell.**

 

**Lexa4:17 PMI haven’t left my bed all day. I had Lincoln walk Heda for me. I think she thinks I’m dead. Everything is spinning. This is miserable.**

 

Clarke laughs remembering the last time she saw Lexa with a hangover and she threatened to kill her several times.

 

**Octavia 3:42 PM thanks for walking me home last night &sorry for taking you away from Lexa ;)**

 

**Octavia 5:12 PM (seriously though thanks you’re the best clarke)**

 

Octavia’s a shit sometimes, but she loves her.

 

**Monty 11:33 AM Jasper’s in love with Lexa, so watch out. Also I hope you had a nice night :)**

 

She can’t blame Jasper. She knows it’ll never happen so she’s not worried. 

 

**Mom 12:45 PMHi honey. I know I had mentioned coming up this weekend to try and see your art, but I can’t make it. Something came up at work Saturday and Marcus needs me to take him to see his mother this Sunday. I’m so sorry, but soon, I promise. Love you.**

 

She tries to not be surprised by her mother’s text.

 

She tries so hard.

 

But she takes her phone and throws it across the room.

 

It’s just, well, she thought that maybe this time she would actually come. Her mother almost never works weekends, so she let herself get her hopes up, which she’s now realizing was one of the more stupid things she’s ever done.

 

And of course, fucking Kane comes before her. It’s not that she doesn’t like Kane, well that’s not true. She doesn’t. He’s a dick. But that’s not even what pisses her off. No, what pisses her off is her mother doing whatever he needs whenever he needs it, even at the risk of letting down her own daughter.

 

Clarke isn’t sad.

 

She never gets sad when her mother bails on her. 

 

However, she is angry.

 

And she knows it’s probably a bad idea, but she wants to get drunk. She goes downstairs to find Raven and the alcohol.

 

She knows Raven will understand, and she won’t try to stop her. (Not that she could if she wanted to, Clarke doesn’t like being told no.) 

 

Raven will listen to her as she talks about how shitty her mother is and hold her hand and watch Disney movies with her to cheer her up. 

 

It’s exactly what she needs.

 

She picks her phone up before hurrying down the stairs without responding to any of the texts.

 

There’s only two people she can fathom talking to right now.

 

Raven and her good friend Jose Cuervo.

 

What a way to end her very nice day.

 

* * *

 

 

It’s not that Lexa’s concerned, because she isn’t.

 

Well, she is, but only mildly. She knows she’s being ridiculous, it’s just that all of the sudden Clarke broke their pretty consistent pattern of communication. She had texted her around 2 and again around 4 but still hadn’t heard anything from her.

 

It was just past 11 and Lexa was watching Blue Planet, which she found to be one of the only tolerable things on television at this hour, alone in her living room, as even Heda had abandoned her.

 

She’d spent the day incapacitated by a splitting headache and nausea which she attributes to all the alcohol she drank. It’s the second hangover she’s ever had, and both happened to directly correlate with her time knowing Clarke Griffin.

 

However, now she’s sitting and eating some toast while listening to David Attenborough talk about the blue whale and it’s tongue that weighs as much as an elephant, which really is fascinating, but she somehow feels lonely, which is something she really isn’t used to. 

 

Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she’s watching this enormous blue whale swimming all alone through the ocean, navigating the vast blue all by itself which has made her vastly aware of how much of her life she’s spent alone.

 

Who would have thought that a documentary television series about the ocean could make a person so aware of their own loneliness.

 

She briefly checks her phone for any texts, willing the lonely thoughts to subside as she does. Aside from her unanswered texts to Clarke, the only other person she;s talked to today is Lincoln, who she asked to walk Heda for her so she could sleep her hangover off.

 

No new texts appear on the screen, and Lexa sighs, turning her ringer on and shifting her attention back to the television.

 

She watches wave after wave crash on her screen, listening to the sounds of the swells and crashes and trying not to let them remind her of Clarke’s story about her father.

 

She zones out for a bit, mesmerized by the vast beauty of the ocean.

 

She’s brought back to reality by the sound of her phone going off. She looks over at it to see Clarke’s name flash across the screen, and she feels relieved. She unlocks her phone and reads the text.

 

**Clarke11:14 PMSprry for responfing so late.Congrat s on your second hangover**

 

She knows Clarke isn’t as meticulous about grammar as she is, but this is out of character for her.

 

**Lexa11:15 PMDo you not have autocorrect?**

 

**Clarke11:15 PMturned it off. got sic k of it changing fuck to duck. also i!m drunk so shut yp**

 

It should probably bother her that Clarke’s texting her drunk, but she’s just glad to hear from her.

 

**Lexa 11:16 PMI see. Having a party with your friends?**

 

**Clarke11:18 PMnonono. my mom sucks so raven + me had some tequila**

 

Lexa frowns at her phone. More concerning than her terrible grammar is Clarke’s mildly unhealthy coping mechanism in relation to her mother’s shortcomings.

 

**Clarke11:18 PMwe also watched finding memo drunk. funny movie**

 

**Clarke11:18 PMnemo***

 

Lexa looks up at her screen where the show has delved into talking about turtles and their egg laying season and laughs at the fact that she’s watching what could be considered the grown up version of the exact movie Clarke watched tonight.

 

**Lexa 11:19 PMNever seen it.**

 

**Clarke11:19 PMWJAT???, do you have a soul?**

 

**Lexa 11:21 PMYes. I just haven’t seen it.**

 

**Clarke11:23 PMwe gotta watch tofgether.**

 

**Clarke11:23 PMravens alseep**

 

**Clarke11:24 PMI’m goign for a walj by the lake**

 

Lexa thinks that it’s probably not safe for a very drunk Clarke to go to the beach alone in her state, so she decides to ask Clarke if she minds if she comes too. Clarke’s response is a very enthusiastic yes, so she gets up and turns her television off. She throws a sweater on over the tank top she was planning on sleeping in, and heads out the door.

 

When she gets to the beach she finds Clarke standing at the waters edge, throwing rocks in the water.

 

She clears her throat to try and make Clarke aware of her presence. Clarke turns around and smiles when she sees Lexa.

 

“Hi Lexa.” Clarke says, and somehow she manages to sound put together, despite her definite intoxication.

 

“Hello Clarke.” Lexa says, and she walks towards her.

 

“Are those pajama pants?” Clarke asks with a smirk, and even drunk she manages to make Lexa feel embarrassed.

 

“They are. I was too hungover to get dressed. It’s also late.” Lexa tells her, and Clarke looks upset.

 

“Were you going to bed when I texted you? Oh god, I’m sorry Lexa.” She says, and there’s genuine concern in her voice. Lexa chuckles.

 

“No, I was watching television.” She tells Clarke, and she seems relieved. 

 

“Good. I don’t want to bother you. There’s already enough people who see me as a burden.” Clarke mumbles, and it’s bitter.

 

“What do you mean?” Lexa asks, hoping she’s not prying.

 

“My mom. She told me she was coming this weekend to visit and see my art. She bailed. Second time this month.” She tells Lexa and Lexa watches as Clarke picks up another rock and throws it as far as she can across the lake’s surface. “I’m not even surprised, is the worst part. I’m such a fucking burden to her. Ever since dad died I just became an afterthought to her life. A reminder of him that she couldn’t stand to see. I survived and he didn’t. Every time she sees me she’s reminded of him. She can’t bring herself to love me anymore. I’m not the daughter she wants. It just- It really gets to me sometimes. I try so hard to pretend I don’t care but I fucking do. I just want her to see this, to see that she has a reason to be proud of me, and she doesn’t care and it fucking sucks.” She says, and she’s shaking a little when she finishes, so Lexa grabs her hand and drags her a little bit up the beach and sits down, tugging Clarke down with her.

 

She puts her head on Lexa’s shoulder, and Lexa moves to put her arm around Clarke, rubbing her back.

 

It reminds her a little of what Anya did for her when Costia died.

 

Clarke buries herself in Lexa’s neck and truthfully, Lexa’s almost afraid to move. She wants to help Clarke to feel better, but she doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. It’s cool out, and Clarke’s shivering a little, so Lexa decides to tighten her arm around Clarke in an attempt to shield her from the cool breeze that’s whirling around them.

 

She settles for just holding Clarke, who seems very content to be held by Lexa. She feels a tear on her neck and for Clarke’s sake, she ignores it. Clarke sit’s up and wipes the tears from her eyes.

 

“i’m sorry, this is- I’m being stupid. I never cry about this, this is so dumb.” She tells her, and Lexa understands.

 

“Sometimes it gets to be too much. No matter how much you try not to care sometimes it gets to you. I know.” Lexa says. Clarke looks at her and she looks exhausted. She yawns, and Lexa frowns. “Come on,” She says, starting to stand up, extending her hand to Clarke who squints at her in confusion, but accepts Lexa’s help anyways. “You’re tired. I’m taking you home.” She tells her, and she simply nods. 

 

Clarke keeps ahold of Lexa’s hand as they walk up the path from the beach to Clarke’s house. Clarke is clearly both beyond tired and drunk and struggles with getting the door open. Lexa opens it for her and follows Clarke inside, wanting to make sure she gets safely to her bed. She closes the door quietly behind herself, knowing somewhere in this house Raven is asleep and she doesn’t want to wake her.

 

She follows Clarke up the stairs and down the hall to what Lexa assumes is her room. 

 

It’s messy. Lexa would expect nothing less from Clarke, though. The floor is littered with clothes and shoes, as well as art supplies and a few books. There are a few paintings around the room, and Lexa wonders if they’re Clarke’s or someone else’s. She makes a note to ask Clarke another time, when she’s more awake. Clarke shuffles towards her bed, kicking clothes out of the way as she does, and Lexa follows. She sees an empty cup on the nightstand by Clarke’s bed and picks it up.

 

“I’m gonna fill this for when you wake up. Where’s your bathroom?” She asks Clarke as she walks towards the door of her room.

 

“Across the hall.” Clarke mumbles quietly, and Lexa nods before heading out of the room and across the hall. She goes into the bathroom and fills the cup up, returning to Clarke’s room quickly. When she enters the room, she sees that Clarke is either asleep or very close to being so. She quietly puts the cup down. She finds a paper and scrawls a quick note on it, leaving it by the water for when Clarke wakes up.

 

“Goodnight, Clarke.” She says quietly, leaning down to smooth back the girl’s hair, cautiously placing a gentle kiss to the top of her head.

 

She turns the light off and she’s almost out of the room when she hears the faintest, “Night, Lexa.” from where Clarke lays. She smiles to herself as she leaves, closing the door behind her and walking quietly down the hallway and the stairs.

 

She’s almost out of the house when she hears a quiet cough from her right.

 

She turns to the source, and finds Raven sitting up on the couch, clearly half awake, but awake nonetheless.

 

“Raven, hello.” Lexa says, knowing full well that a small blush has already started to form on her cheeks.

 

“Lexa, fancy seeing you here. In my home. Trying to sneak out.” Raven says, eyebrow raised in an unasked question, and Lexa gives her an apologetic look.

 

“When you fell asleep, your drunk housemate decided to go on a late night walk. I decided to supervise so she wouldn’t end up wandering off into some stranger’s yard or anything stupid like that. She got upset and tired so I walked her home. Now I’m leaving so I can go sleep. It seems I always end up here when I want to be sleeping.” Lexa says, and Raven cracks a smile.

 

“Well, as long as that’s all.” Raven says, and Lexa nods. Raven looks at her like she’s trying to size her up. Lexa feels uncharacteristically nervous as she starts to slowly walk towards the door again. “I was wrong about you, Lexa.” Raven says, and Lexa turns to face her, a look of questioning evident on her face.

 

“What do you mean?” She asks.

 

“You’re not a stone cold bitch.” Raven says, and Lexa laughs quietly.

 

“Aren’t I?” She asks, and Raven just shakes her head.

 

“Bitch? Maybe. Stone cold? Definitely not. You care about her.” Raven says, and Lexa doesn’t argue, mainly because she knows that there is apparently only one person who’s won an argument with Clarke, and it’s Raven. “Thanks for watching out for Clarke, Lexa.” Raven tells her, and she lets herself relax a little, feeling less like she’s under scrutiny from the girl now.

 

“Anytime.” She says, and she means it. As much as she wishes she didn’t, and wishes Clarke hadn’t somehow managed to strip off the layers of protective armor she had on, she knows it’s useless. Raven’s right. She cares, and that’s all there is to it. She’ll probably be more distraught about it tomorrow, but for now she’s exhausted and just wants to go home and sleep. “Goodnight, Raven.” She says, and she opens up the door to leave.

 

“Night, Elmo.” Raven says with a laugh, and Lexa turns around to glare briefly at Raven, who Clarke clearly told about their exchange the previous day. Raven laughs as she stands and walks to the stairs. Lexa turns around and walks out the door, shutting it behind her.

 

(She’s going to kill Clarke tomorrow.)

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, Clarke wakes up and her mouth is dry as hell. She remembers getting drunk with Raven last night and going down to the beach when she fell asleep where she met Lexa. She remembers throwing rocks at the water and complaining to Lexa about her mother. She remembers crying in Lexa’s arms and Lexa walking her home. She remembers Lexa kissing the top of her head goodnight as she left Clarke in her bed. 

 

Clarke rolls over to see a glass of water and a note on her bedside table. She picks them both up, drinking the water as she reads the note to herself.

 

_**Clarke,** _

 

_**Drink all of this water.** _

 

_**If you need anything, let me know.** _

 

_**Lexa** _

 

_**PS: I need new flowers. Mine are dead.** _

 

Clarke smiles at that last bit.

 

God, Lexa is such a fucking sap.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5, or the one where everyone sins and Lexa wins a war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed this has over 10k hits so WOW thanks guys you're amazing! I'm glad you're still enjoying it! As always, feel free to follow me over on tumblr @ clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com and don't be shy about interacting with me (I'm always looking to talk about this fic). Also I've finally read all the comments and YOU GUYS ARE THE SWEETEST.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading :)
> 
> Warnings: Alcohol, death mentions

Chapter 5

 

* * *

 

Clarke’s honestly not positive if Lexa was serious about wanting new flowers, but she thinks it can’t hurt to bring a few over and thank her in person for putting up with her last night.

 

Anyone willing to leave their home in their pajamas late at night despite the fact that their obvious intention is to settle in deserves a medal.

 

Especially if it’s her neighbor who Clarke knows to really value her sleep and relaxation.

 

Clarke doesn’t have a medal, however, so she figures a couple flowers will do. She picked out a small bunch of flowers she thinks look kind of nice together. It’s a very simple arrangement, only consisting of about 5 flowers (which is probably a good thing considering Lexa’s allergies) but in Clarke’s opinion, it’s still beautiful.

 

She gets to Lexa’s house and knocks on the door. She hears barking from inside the house, so she knows that at least Heda is home. She probably should have texted Lexa to see if she was home as well before coming over, but it’s a bit too late now anyways. Thankfully, it’s only a few seconds before Heda stops barking and Clarke is face to face with a very sleepy looking Lexa.

 

“Did I wake you up, Lexa?” Clarke teases and Lexa yawns before her face returns to it's neutral resting expression, which effectively answers Clarke’s question.

 

Lexa just answers her with a short "Yes," and Clarke frowns a little.

 

“Oh. Well, I just came by to drop these off as a thank you for last night. You said yours were dead so, hopefully these are okay. I know they’re nothing special, just some daisies and hydrangeas, but, you know, thanks.” Clarke says, extending her hand to give Lexa the bouquet and she feels shy under Lexa’s unchanging gaze. She feels like they’ve suddenly taken ten steps back in their friendship and Clarke is utterly confused.

 

Lexa accepts the bouquet with such neutrality that it makes Clarke mad. “It was nothing. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t do anything stupid.” Lexa says, as if she didn’t hold Clarke as she cried about her mother last night, as if they hardly knew each other. Clarke wonders if maybe she did something last night she forgot that brought on this side of Lexa, standing in front of her, barely able to look at her. She was drunk and sometimes she says stupid things and Lexa seems like the type to be scared off by some likely stupid offhand comment about how pretty Lexa looks in the moonlight or how if she’s going to cry in front of anyone, she’s glad it’s Lexa. She hopes that’s not the case, but it seems to be the only explanation for why Lexa is being so closed off. “I should probably go, it’s almost 11 and I told Lincoln I would go on a run with him at 11:30. Thanks for the flowers, Clarke.” Lexa says, and before Clarke can say anything else, the door shuts in her face.

 

“Welcome.” She grumbles as she walks away, knowing fully well that Lexa can’t hear her. Her whole walk home she goes over everything she remembers from last night, and she concludes that she has no idea what she could have done to shut Lexa down so quickly.

 

She doesn’t understand her, and she knows it’s possible she never will. How can she expect to not be surprised by someone she’s known a little less than a month? Especially Lexa, who clearly values her privacy and space.

 

Maybe that’s what it is; space.

 

Lexa probably just needs space. They’ve spent a lot of time together and Clarke knows that people come easy to her, whereas for Lexa, understanding people probably isn’t as easy.

 

She decides that giving Lexa some space might make things easier on her, so she'll do just that. She’ll give Lexa some space for a few days. She could probably use the space herself. 

 

Things between her and Lexa (at least for herself, anyways) had been pretty tense the past few days, and Clarke knows that there’s definitely a strong chance that she has some kind of feelings for Lexa. So there’s a lot Clarke wants to figure out about Lexa and she figures there’s probably things she needs to figure out about herself as well. She closed herself off emotionally for months and this is the first time she’s really considering the possibility that she can feel like she did again.

 

And, really, it’s about time. It’s been a year since Finn died.

 

Clarke tries not to think about him too much. Tries not to think about his smile, or how kind his eyes looked when he would give her new art supplies, or how terrible he was at cooking… She tries to avoid those thoughts, because they only make her take steps back in getting over him.

 

It was just so sudden. One minute he was texting Clarke about the pizza he was bringing home and the next she was picking up the phone to hear a doctor tell her she needed to come down to identify a body.

 

He was shot. It was a mugging. He was out with Raven, who survived the ordeal, but at the cost of her left leg. He’d been trying to save her.

 

Raven’s told her the story countless times.

 

She used to feel emotions in every part of her body when she heard it.

 

Now she just feels numb.

 

Or she used to, anyways.

 

Somehow, the icy cold Lexa (who, truly was the exact opposite of that) had managed to push feeling back into Clarke’s empty heart. Whether she liked it or not, there was something there.

 

It’s warm and it’s glowing and Clarke thinks that maybe it might destroy her if it continues to grow.

 

There’s one thing Clarke knows for sure: This new feeling isn’t going to stop anytime soon.

 

(Truthfully, she’s not sure whether she wants it to or not.)

 

* * *

 

While Lexa hadn’t lied to Clarke, she hadn’t been entirely truthful either.

 

She was planning on going on a run. Just, later in the day and alone.

 

However, now that she’s told Clarke she’s going on a run, she decides maybe she should follow through.

 

She has a lot to think about, specifically her conversation with Raven last night. Though it had been brief, it carries a lot of weight with Lexa.

 

“You care about her.” Ravens words kept her awake for much longer than she’d care to admit last night. She’d been trying so hard not to feel. Not to allow Clarke into her world. Not to allow anyone in that could destroy her world as it had been so many times before.

 

There were three people in her life she had let herself love: Anya, Gustus and Costia. She had lost two of the three, and when she did, the results were catastrophic. She thought the pain would never go away, that there would always be an ache in her chest where the two had been ripped from her heart.

 

It did, though. It went away because she was able to understand that that feeling, the dull ache, was a weakness. Her love for Costia, for Gustus, and for Anya was a weakness, and one she couldn’t afford to have. Living with weakness left her vulnerable. Caring for them made her vulnerable.

 

So she just stopped caring. She told herself that to protect herself from that weakness, that vulnerability, she had to stop caring. About everyone.

 

Yet, here she is, standing and facing the door she just shut in Clarke’s face thinking about those four words Raven said to her last night. Those four fucking words that could be the destruction of her world. Those four words and the one girl who have managed to, in twenty two days, take Lexa’s quiet isolation and turn it completely on it’s head.

 

She cares about Clarke.

 

She cares about her and yet she all but slammed the door in the girls face so she wouldn’t have to see the person who had managed to begin breaking down the walls she’d so painstakingly put up around her heart. Letting herself care is dangerous. It’s her own personal kryptonite, able to destroy her at a moments notice, and she’s not sure when the last time she felt so terrified was.

 

She wants to run away, but knows she can’t, so she settles for simply running. She goes upstairs and changes into a pair of running shorts and an athletic shirt as quickly as she can, throwing her running shoes on quickly before running out the door and tying her hair up in a ponytail as she goes.

 

She wonders how fast she would have to run to escape her own thoughts, or if it’s even possible to find solace while thoughts of Clarke run rampantly through her mind.

 

She doesn't know if she can outrun her thoughts, but she’s sure as hell going to try.

 

* * *

 

When Clarke gets home, she immediately notices Bellamy sitting on the couch with Raven who has her feet propped up on his lap as she lies back against the armrest, scrolling through something on her phone. She sighs quietly. She’s not in the mood to deal with them both. Especially not with the knowledge that they’re definitely sleeping together at the forefront of her mind. She was already fairly exasperated with the way her day is going, and Raven and Bellamy’s couch cuddle session was not making her feel any better.

 

“This is disgusting.” She says, hoping her tone matches the true distaste she's feeling, and they both look over to her with faux-innocent looks on their faces.

 

“What is?” Bellamy asks her, and she simply rolls her eyes.

 

“This disgusting display of domesticity.” Clarke tells him, her voice void of any and all emotion, and she watches as his face falls a little.

 

“Lighten up Griffin. You just got back from your girlfriend’s so you should be in a good mood.” Raven quips, and Clarke’s stomach twists at the use of the word ‘girlfriend’. If there’s anything Clarke knows, it’s that Lexa is definitely not her girlfriend. Quite the opposite, clearly, since she just slammed the door in her face without so much as a goodbye.

 

“Fuck you, Raven, she’s not my fucking girlfriend.” She tells Raven who sits up at Clarke’s aggression, pulling her legs of Bellamy and standing to walk towards her, followed quickly by Bellamy.

 

“Clarke, relax, it was a joke. What’s got you so worked up?” She asks and Clarke walks right past them into the kitchen to try and find something to do to occupy her mind.

 

“Nothing. I’m fine, just tired.” She mumbles, finding some dishes in the sink and picking them up to start washing them.

 

“Clarke.” She hears Raven’s voice from over her shoulder, and she can hear the concern in her voice, so she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before turning to face her.

 

“Really, Raven, it’s nothing. Lexa was acting weird this morning, but I mean, I hardly know her so it probably wasn’t weird, just normal robot Lexa. It’s honestly fine.” Clarke says. It’s a lie, and not a convincing one, at that. Raven is still frowning and Bellamy’s giving her a sympathetic look and Clarke can’t look at them anymore so she turns around and goes back to wiping down some hardly dirty plate. There’s a silence and Clarke is desperate to fill it, so she turns on the water and picks up another plate to wash it off. She’s in the middle of scrubbing at the melted cheese that’s thickly caked on to the plate when a hand, Bellamy’s, reaches  out from behind her and turns the water off, taking the plate from he hand and putting it down in the sink. Clarke’s shoulders slump slightly, and Bellamy takes her arm and turns her around to face him and squeezes her arm gently.

 

“Fuck Lexa, then. If she doesn’t wanna be your friend or whatever, don’t worry about it. I'm still not convinced she's not a robot, anyways. You still have all of us and a summer full of drinking and partying ahead.” He assures her, and a small smile finds it’s way to her face, despite the small part of her that wants to defend Lexa.

 

“Speaking of which, Bell and I were just talking about a great party idea.” Raven adds, walking over to the two of them with a smirk on her face.

 

“Well, Bellamy’s last great party idea was  a silent disco, which in theory would have been great, but ended up being so boring that we all bailed after fifteen minutes and switched to just drinking and partying like usual.” Clarke says, and Raven laughs. It had to have been one of the more boring fifteen minutes of all of their lives. Bellamy puffs out his chest defensively and glares at Clarke.

 

“That party woulda been great if you all weren’t a bunch of horny teenagers just looking to get drunk and make out with someone on the weekend.” He says, and Clarke laughs. He’s right, definitely not a good party idea for a bunch of college students looking to let loose on the weekend. “This idea is Raven-approved, though so I think it’s a little better.” He tells her, and Raven nods so Clarke shrugs.

 

“Alright, what is this great party idea?” She asks, but she’s not entirely convinced it’s going to be a good idea. Raven’s had her fair share of failed party ideas, too.

 

“Seven deadly sins party.” He says, and, Clarke has to admit, she’s interested.

 

“Go on.” She says, and Bellamy smiles a little knowing that Clarke hasn’t immediately dismissed her idea.

 

“Each room in my house represents a different deadly sin. One for envy, greed, gluttony, lust, wrath, sloth and pride. Different shit to do in each room, like poker in greed and whatever. Different kinds of drinks and food in each room. We’d have to invest in some dumb decorations, and it probably won’t be as amazing as the idea itself, but I think it’ll be pretty fun.” He finishes, and Clarke contemplates the idea while Bellamy and Raven watch her hopefully. It’s certainly different than anything they’ve done before, and honestly, if worst comes to worst, Clarke’s sure she can salvage it and turn it into something fun.

 

“What the hell, let’s do it. It has to be big though. Invite everyone we know, tell them to bring friends. We don’t want empty rooms or a lack of excitement or anything like that.. We have to make this good or it’ll crash and burn.” She explains and Bellamy brightens, smiling at Clarke while Raven stands next to him with a pleasantly surprised expression.

 

“Alright,Griffin. Glad to see you’re still the same party loving asshole we know and love.” Bellamy says, and Clarke punches him in the shoulder.

 

“If it bombs, you’re never being trusted again, Blake.” Clarke deadpans and Bellamy smiles all the same.

 

“Noted.” He says. “We’re gonna need time to plan it. How’s Tuesday sound?” He asks. It’s Saturday, so Clarke figures that gives them plenty of time to plan this party and make it a good one.

 

“Sounds great. We can go out tomorrow and get whatever we need and spread the word and use the rest of the time to set up or whatever.

 

“Classic. We come up with a great idea and you take control.” Raven muses, and Clarke shrugs because she know Raven doesn't actually care. Her friends all just kind of accept that she's exceptional at turning a concept into a reality.

 

“Happens.” She tells her and Raven smiles before moving to throw an arm haphazardly around Clarke’s shoulders while walking, effectively herding her towards the couch.

 

“As much as I enjoy standing and chatting, I think my leg would rather we didn’t.” Raven tells her, and Bellamy laughs from behind them. They all head towards the living room and sit down, Raven and Clarke on the couch that was previously occupied by Bellamy and Raven, and Bellamy sitting in one of the arm chairs to Raven’s right.

 

“Okay, so we’re inviting everyone?” Bellamy asks. It's an innocent question, but the way he says it seems like there’s something else he’s trying to ask.

 

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Clarke asks, and he’s looking at her like there’s something she’s missing. “What, Bellamy?” She finally asks, and he shrugs.

 

“Everyone meaning everyone including Lexa?” He asks shyly, and Clarke furrows her brow a bit in thinking about it.

 

“Including Lexa.” She says, and there’s a finality in her tone that suggests that there’s nothing more to be said about it. Clarke’s not going to stop being neighborly just because her neighbor is stubborn and acted like an ass earlier. If she space is what she needs, she won't come. Simple as that.

 

“Alright.” He says. The mood of the room shifts a little after that and he continues. “Now, here’s what I was thinking for the rooms…”

 

* * *

 

It’s been somewhere around three days and Lexa hasn’t heard from Clarke once. She can't say she blames her, though.

 

She’d considered apologizing for slamming the door in Clarke’s face but she figured better to just keep her distance. (Besides, she really needed some time to think.)

 

She’d seen Clarke outside with her arms full of bags and considered texting her then as well to figure out what was happening. Before she could, however, Lincoln had told her on one of their runs that Octavia and Bellamy were having a party Tuesday, which is now today, and that she should come. Lexa wondered briefly why Clarke hadn’t been the one to invite her, but she figures she shouldn’t expect a lot from a girl she pretty much slammed the door in the face of. She wonders why she’s even been invited to the party, but decides to attend regardless. Lincoln had been pretty insistent on her coming, and Lexa figures that even though he’ll likely spend most of the evening with Octavia, him wanting her there is enough reason to go, even if she only ends up staying a short while.

 

She’d gone through the weekend almost missing the contact from Clarke. Her phone had been almost entirely inactive, aside from a few texts from Lincoln about their runs together, and a few from Anya about the store as well. Nothing like a few days ago when there was almost never a time when her phone would light up with texts from Clarke.

 

She’s had plenty of time to think about the girl, though, which is probably the hardest part about her inactive social status. She’s spent time feeling guilty for how she’d treated Clarke the other morning, she’d thought in agonizing detail about all the time she’d spent getting to know her, and how seeing her today will most likely be uncomfortable.

 

Despite the discomfort it may bring, Lexa wants to see her. She knows it’s only been a few days but she misses her company. It’s stupid and she knows it, but somehow over the past 20 or so days she’s let herself begin falling for her. Not too hard, not fast, but she’s definitely been knocked off her balance and begun falling.

 

She’d tried desperately to pull herself out of it, but to no avail.

 

She hopes maybe tonight she’ll get the chance to apologize, and that maybe Clarke will forgive her and things can go back to how they were before she panicked.

 

She spent a considerable amount of time getting ready. The theme of the party was seven deadly sins, and Lincoln had briefly explained the concept, and it seemed interesting. Part of the theme was they, for envy, people are dressing up as someone they envy.

 

Envy isn’t something Lexa’s all too familiar with, or at least in the context of wanting to be someone else. Sure, she’s been envious of things (case and point being the night of the bonfire and Clarke’s interactions with Harper) but never truly envious of a person's entire being. She picks the person she’s been closest to envying all her life: Anya. She supposes it’s a bit of a cop out since the two dress very similarly, but there are some differences she hopes to accentuate. She’s left her hair down and straightened it a bit, as Anya’s hair is usually down and naturally much straighter than her own. She wears black shorts and her most low cut white t-shirt. Where Lexa tries to be fairly modest, Anya couldn't care less. She puts on some fairly gaudy gold jewelry, something Anya tends to accessorize with. She puts on makeup, making sure to be meticulous about her eyeliner which Anya is very particular about, and puts on a pair of gladiator sandals to top it off. She inspects herself in the mirror, and once she decides that she looks enough like Anya to not just seem like she’s too lazy to dress up, she checks her phone to make sure it’s not too early to head over. Somehow, it’s already almost 9:30 so she figures that she’ll be fine. She walks downstairs, checking to see that Heda has plenty of water in her bowl and a little food as well, so she doesn’t end up eating everything she owns while she’s away. She knows she could just put her in her crate, but for the most part, she’s a very well behaved dog, so Lexa usually just lets her roam.

 

Once she’s checked that, she grabs her keys and heads out the door, not bothering to say goodbye to the dog before she leaves. She locks the door and begins the walk to Bellamy and Octavia’s house, which is about ten or so minutes from her own house. As she gets closer, she can hear music from the house, though not as loud or rowdy as previous nights. She notes that it’s similar-sounding music to the first party she went to at Octavia’s where she left sick (although, Lexa' starting to get the sense that what she was feeling that night probably wasn’t actually sickness).

 

She walks up to the house and notes that the door is open, so she walks in and finds herself immediately greeted by Bellamy who’s standing in the front hall.

 

“Lexa, hey!” He says with a smile. “Want a drink?” He says, gesturing to the table beside him which has a punch bowl on it filled with some radioactive-looking liquid in it. She nods somewhat reluctantly and he goes to serve her a drink, pouring one for himself as well. She notes a plate of chips and guacamole to the side of the bowl and looks around the hall. There are minimal green decorations on the wall that all seem to be left over from St. Patrick's day, but she figures this is the envy room.

 

“Envy?” She asks, and he nods, handing her the drink he’s poured for her. She takes it with an appreciative nod and takes a sip. It's strong. It tastes like the green jolly ranchers mixed with vodka, and while it’s not entirely unpleasant, she certainly doesn’t enjoy the taste. Her face sours a bit and Bellamy chuckles quietly as he sips his drink. Lexa levels him with a glare and he stops almost immediately. She’s about to excuse herself and leave in search of Lincoln when another two bodies appear in the doorway.

 

“Hey, Bell, I-“ The voice starts, before noticing Lexa’s there. “Oh, hi Lexa.” She says. It’s Clarke. Clarke and yet another girl. At this point, Lexa shouldn’t be surprised. When she met the girl she was doing a body shot off of someone, and almost every instance they’ve been together in a group, Clarke’s found her way to some other girl. Lexa can’t blame her, but it doesn’t stop the jealous feeling Lexa gets from seeing Clarke’s hand wrapped tightly around the waist of this girl. She's wearing a fairly gaudy outfit, and Lexa figures that she’s probably dressed as some celebrity who Lexa could care less about, but she's beautiful nonetheless and Lexa understands why Clarke would be attracted to her. Clarke however is dressed similar to her normal self, but wearing a jacket she recognizes as Octavia’s and she assumes that’s who Clarke is dressed as. With the ego she has, she’s a little surprised Clarke didn’t just dress as herself. Lexa stares for what is probably an inappropriate amount of time before nodding at Clarke.

 

“Clarke.” She says, and it’s hardly a greeting but Clarke takes it as such.

 

“Lexa this is Sarah.” She tells her, gesturing to the girl next to her who gives her a friendly wave.

 

“Hello.” Lexa says, and the girl smiles before turning to whisper something to Clarke who in turn chuckles quietly.

 

“Oh, right. Bell, Sarah wants to get some people together to go over to pride and play shot roulette, you in?” She asks, and Bellamy downs his drink while nodding yes. He puts the empty cup down on the table and they start to head down the hall, but not before Bellamy turns to face her.

 

“Lexa, you coming?” He says, and Lexa figures she doesn’t exactly have anything better to do, so she nods yes and downs the rest of her drink with a hiss as it burns her throat, putting her cup next to Bellamy and following the other three as they make their way down the hall in search of more people.

 

Lexa can already tell this is going to be quite the interesting night.

 

* * *

 

She and Sarah manage to round up a surprisingly large group of people to play shot roulette.

 

At least, a surprisingly large group to try and fit into the Blake’s bathroom, which, for whatever reason, they decided would be the pride room.

 

Well, truthfully it was the one that made most sense. It had several mirrors and it’s the room people get ready in, and easy to associate with narcissism and pride. There’s obviously a second bathroom for people to actually use, since this one is occupied by the game of shot roulette set up on the floor.

 

There’s a circle of people around it that consists of herself, Sarah, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven, Jasper, Harper and two girls who Clarke doesn’t remember the names of, as well as Lexa who’s sitting across from her.

 

It hadn’t necessarily been her intention to make Lexa jealous. She still feels a little weird about what happened the other day. She just happened to find Sarah at the beginning of the party and they just happened to be together when she found Lexa. Truthfully, Sarah is boring. But maybe that’s what Clarke needs. Some boring girl to flirt with and maybe fuck so she feels better.

 

Making Lexa jealous was just a fun bonus.

 

She’d made sure to flirt with Sarah the whole time they were in the room, whispering things like ‘You look hot in that dress,’ or whatever silly compliment she could think of in the girl’s ear. None of it is untrue. The girl is hot, there’s no denying that, and Clarke’s definitely interested in sleeping with her.

 

There’s no reason she shouldn’t be, right?

 

The game had gone on a bit longer than they all had anticipated, but they were down to the last three shot glasses from their starting number of thirteen. One, a clear liquid, one green and one that was definitely milk. There were only three people who had volunteered to take a second shot. Herself, Jasper and Lexa, and it was currently Jaspers turn. She watches as he spins the bottle and it lands a few empty shot glasses from the milk. He picks up the shot glass and downs it with ease. It’s Clarke’s turn, and she picks up the bottle, as Sarah giggles from next to her. She spins the bottle and Sarah latches on to her arm, continuing to giggle. The bottle spins for a bit before stopping on the green shot.

 

Of course. There’s a chorus of cheers and laughs as she picks up the shot glass. If she remembers correctly, it’s pickle juice. She doesn’t remember whether they decided on dill or bread and butter, so she sniffs it.

 

It’s bread and butter. Clarke hates bread and butter pickles. She wrinkles her face in disgust as she lifts the glass to her lips and takes the shot.

 

It’s horrific and she all but gags after swallowing it.

 

“Fuck whichever person decided bread and butter pickle juice was a humane option.” She says, before looking at Lexa who’s already picked up her shot glass. “Your drink.” She says challengingly, and Lexa smirks at her before lifting the glass in some kind of toast and downing the shot with relative ease. She still pulls a small face, but Clarke guesses it’s not the vinegar. She looks at Lexa to try and get the question out of her and she must notice, because she smiles at her and it's too sweet to be sincere.

 

“Vodka.” Lexa says smugly, and with that, she gets up and leaves the room.

 

Clarke stands as well, mumbling to Sarah to follow her.

 

She needs a fucking drink.

 

* * *

 

About 45 minutes or so after she arrives, Lexa finds herself standing with Lincoln in the Blakes' living room watching as Raven, Octavia, Clarke, Sarah and a few others sit around the living room table playing some weird card game where all the rules seem to be made up. 

 

Lexa arrived in the room a few minutes after the game and was going to leave in favor of not watching whatever flirtation the game was sure to inspire, when Lincoln called her over.

 

They'd been somewhat mindlessly chatting for a little over ten minutes at this point, about his work, how Anya's doing, really anything, and Lexa's feeling a lot better than she was when she first arrived at the party.

 

Apart from their runs and the occasional text message, she and Lincoln really haven't spent much time together, so it's nice to just stand here and chat. 

 

The drink in this room (as each room has a signature drink) is simply shots of goldschläger and Lexa finds it very peculiar. It's cinnamon flavored and has gold flecks that seem to be floating in it. It's not bad, in fact, Lexa would go so far as to say it's actually one of the better alcohols she's had. She's had two shots and figures that maybe she should take a bit of a break from the alcohol. The alcohol's already gone from simply warming her to basically numbing her so that everything feels fuzzy.

 

She's not _drunk_ persée, but she is fairly tipsy.

 

Tipsy enough to let her eyes wander over to where Clarke is sitting at the table, laughing as she and Sarah hook elbows, then take a shot. The girl is all giggles and smiles and Clarke's clearly enjoying the attention. 

 

It's stupid to be jealous of this girl. It's not like she's dating Clarke, or Clarke's even interested in her. If Clarke wants to do whatever she's doing with this girl then far be it for Lexa to stop her. (That doesn't stop Lexa's jealousy, though).

 

"Lexa? Lexa, hey." Lincoln says, and her attention snaps back to him.

 

"Sorry. I must have zoned out. Guess it's time to cut myself off." She says with an apologetic smile, putting her shot glass down on the table. "What were you saying?" She asks, trying not to be distracted by the familiar blonde hair of Clarke in front of her, and focusing on Lincoln to her side. Which is harder than she expects, because her eyesight is really very fuzzy and she's having terrible luck with trying to focus her eyes. No amount of rubbing them will make them clearer.

 

"Nothing important, really." He says, and Lexa nods. She thinks maybe he has more to say, or might ask her what's on her mind and there's no way she'll admit to being completely and utterly lost in thoughts of Clarke Griffin, so she decides to speak.

 

"How're things with Octavia?" She asks, though she's really not that interested. She's sure things are going well.

 

"Very well. We're thinking of going on a hike sometime soon with a couple of others. You should come. I know how you enjoy hiking." He says, and it's true. Lexa loves to hike. It's always been something she's enjoyed. She loves the thought that she's climbing where countless others have before. She loves being surrounded by trees and watching as they get less and less dense the closer she is to the top. She loves standing at the top of the mountain and looking down at the lakes and rivers they're surrounded by and having her hair blown into her face by the wind at the top. 

 

There's just something so satisfying about conquering a mountain that Lexa truly can't resist.

 

"That sounds very nice. I'd be happy to join you." She says, and he smiles.

 

"Great. I'll give you more details when I have them." He tells her, and she nods. She lets her eyes drift briefly back to Clarke who's very focused on her game and the girl to her left, and hadn't looked Lexa's way once.

 

Lexa's not surprised, but she's still disappointed at how little Clarke wants to be around her.

 

Lexa realizes she has to go to pee, so she politely excuses herself to Lincoln before leaving the room to go upstairs and use the bathroom.

 

What she doesn't see is the way Clarke's eyes follow her as she leaves, and how her face falls slightly following Lexa's absence.

 

* * *

 

Somehow, Clarke manages about an hour with Sarah before she excuses herself to go get a drink with no intention of returning. Sarah was cute but boring and something about spending time with her just doesn't feel right.

 

(Maybe it's the empty looks she keeps seeing Lexa give her from the corner of her eye or the fact that she hasn't spoken more than five words tops to her over the course of the night).

 

The next time she sees Lexa, she's standing outside with Lincoln and Octavia, each sitting down with an empty shot glass in front of them, eating the chips and salsa sitting on the table and talking. Clarke goes to approach her, before she's interrupted by the sound of Jasper calling her name.

 

"Clarke! You're here! Great! We have 8 now and we can play a fair game!" Jasper exclaims, and he gestures to the nerf guns lined up on the railing of the patio.

 

"A nerf war?" Octavia asks from her seat at the table, and Jasper nods enthusiastically.

 

"You've gotta be kidding me." She says and Jasper's brow furrows in confusion. "This is what you picked for wrath? Come on, Jasper." She says, and he frowns.

 

"I think it could actually be pretty fun." Lincoln says from next to her and Jasper lights up again almost immediately.

 

"See? Lincoln's in. You can be on my team, Lincoln." Jasper says, and it's clear he's in his element. "Lexa and Octavia, too." He adds after a brief moment of hesitation, and Lexa's expression sours.

 

"I don't know if I want to-"Lexa starts, but is interrupted by Clarke.

 

"Oh come on, Lexa. What are you, scared you'll lose?" She asks, and Lexa looks at her somewhat indignantly.

 

"Not at all." She shoots back, and Clarke smirks. Lexa never backs down from a challenge, that's something Clarke knows for sure about her.

 

"Good, then it's settled. You, Lincoln, Octavia and Jasper against," She says, looking around to see her team. "Against me, Bellamy, Monty and Harper." She says, and there's a definite challenge to her tone. She has to admit, she has a pretty good team. Well, she truthfully has no idea how good any of them are with a nerf gun, with the exception of Monty who she knows to be very good with it, but she knows that they're strong and smart so her team has hope as far as outrunning their opponents go. She turns to her team to begin strategizing, but before she can speak she hears Lexa's voice from over her shoulder.

 

"Good luck, Clarke. You'll need it." She says, and if she didn't know any better she'd think it was almost a little flirtatious. Clarke turns around just in time to see Lexa's figure retreat down the stairs to the yard where the battle's going to take place and shakes that thought out of her head.

 

She stares at the spot from where Lexa has just disappeared, likely to join her team and strategize, and wonders briefly how they went from barely speaking to gentle confrontation in such a short amount of time.

 

She doesn't have much time to dwell on it at all before she hears Monty call her name and turns around to face the team once again.

 

Their strategy is simple, stay behind trees and avoid the others as best they can, and when all else fails, shoot, but don't waste bullets firing from far away and fast moving targets. 

 

They make their way down the stairs (though, not before Clarke takes a shot of the habanero infused tequila) to the yard and down towards the opposite end of the yard from Lexa's team.

 

Raven has taken it upon herself to be a referee of some kind for the game and is standing on the stairs yelling to them all to take their places, after first insisting they all leave their phones with her so they don't break them.

 

Clarke watches Lexa curiously as she continues to say things to her teammates who all nod in approval at whatever she's saying. 

 

It's a new side of Lexa, one she's not all too familiar with. Lexa the war commander. It's a bit of a funny image, she thinks, but makes sense at the same time.

 

Lexa's a strong, level-headed woman who understands well what it's like to lead a group if people (she does run a bookstore, after all) so she guesses leading just comes naturally to her.

 

"The game begins in five, four, three, two, one, GO!" Raven yells, and Clarke bolts for the nearest tree. It's a little clumsy (though, they're all a little drunk so none of them are by any means graceful) but she makes it safely nonetheless.

 

It seems that their opponents have a similar plan of attack, because she spots Octavia running for shelter behind a tree right as she ducks behind her own.

 

She figures this wont be an interesting match if they stay this way, so she peeks her head out from behind her tree, but right as she does, a bullet sails right past her head, missing her by mere inches, and she catches a glimpse of an arm, presumably Lexa's, retreating back behind a tree in front of her.

 

She scopes out the area as best she can and decides to make a break for a tree that's somewhere in between herself and the other team so she has a chance of maybe shooting at them more easily. 

 

She counts to three in her head and runs, but her run isn't without consequences. Several nerf bullets fly within a few inches of herself and she knows she's pretty lucky to have made it (she's more than a little shocked she did), but it gave her the opportunity to figure out where the members of the other team are hiding out. She's fairly close and guesses that if her other teammates do what she just did that they have a pretty fair chance of beating them.

 

The game carries on with no contact for a while, a couple of near misses but that's as close as it gets. Clearly Raven's fed up with the way the game is going because she calls a new rule that only two people per team can be behind a tree.

 

From there the game gets more interesting, with Jasper and Monty shooting each other simultaneously and Harper being shot by Octavia within two minutes of the new rule's creation.

 

At this point, Clarke and Bellamy are safe behind their trees, while one member of Lexa's team is forced to be out in the open, and they've picked Octavia. Clarke has to give her credit, she's holding her own pretty well, dodging the few bullets she and Bellamy aim at her, but eventually she gets run down and Bellamy takes her out (to Octavia's notable displeasure).

 

The game goes on for a while more as she and Bellamy versus Lexa and Lincoln before Lexa gets Bellamy as he's running to hide behind a new tree. Before Lincoln can safely duck behind his own tree, however, Clarke nabs him on the arm and now it's just her and Lexa.

 

"Alright you two, enough hiding behind trees. I wanna see action, I wanna see a fight! Let's go!" Raven yells from the stairs, and her voice is met by the cheers of her friends. Despite the rule, Clarke doesn't move.

 

Apparently Lexa does because suddenly Clarke hears "Come out from behind your tree and accept your defeat, Clarke."

 

"In your dreams, Lexa." Clarke says, stepping out from behind the tree only to be bombarded by bullets, which she manages to outrun. Lexa stops shooting and Clarke moves slowly closer to her so they're only feet away from each other. "Why'd ya stop shooting? Afraid you'll miss some more?" Clarke teases. Lexa's face remains neutral and she simply shrugs defiantly.

 

"I'm just waiting for you to get tired so you're an even easier target than you already are." She says. Clarke snorts at that. Easy target her ass.

 

"If I'm such an easy target then why haven't you hit me yet?" Clarke asks, and Lexa remains stoic, saying nothing. Clarke looks to the gun in Lexa's hands and back up to her eyes, which refuse to meet her own. Clarke's lips quirk up into a small smile when she realizes the real reason Lexa stopped. "You're out of bullets, aren't you, Lexa?" She asks, and she still says nothing. It's silent for a second and Lexa drops her gun, running at Clarke. 

 

Clarke's frozen for a second before she takes off at a run, not wanting to stand still and risk Lexa tackling her and wrestling the gun out of her hands. 

 

"Just accept defeat, Lexa!" She yells back to her, but she's met with silence. She turns around to see where Lexa is, but she's gone, likely behind a tree. "You coward! Come out and fight me!" Clarke yells, but the second it's out of her mouth, she regrets it. Lexa runs at her at an alarming pace and gently tackles her to the ground (or, as gentle as a tackle can be). They roll around for a second before Clarke pushes Lexa off and straddles her hips, holding the gun in one hand above her head and pinning the girl's chest down with her other forearm. 

 

Clarke looks down at Lexa, chest heaving, eyes wide with her straightened hair in a mess covering her face and very briefly thinks about how much better this whole situation would be if they lost a couple elements, like the dirt, and the nerf gun and...

 

Before she can finish the thought, however, she's being sprayed from by very, very cold water, and in the shock drops the nerf gun, and manages to hold Lexa down despite the assault from the cold water and her own shock and the fact that it's now impossible for her to keep her eyes open. It goes on for about ten seconds and she can hear Lexa sputtering underneath her, and she takes the weight of her arm off of the Lexa's chest and rolls to the side so she's no longer on top of her. 

 

Once the water stops, Clarke looks to see what the culprit was. Or rather, who the culprit was. She looks over to her left and sees Raven holding a hose and smiling innocently.

 

"Raven, what the fuck?" She all but screams at the girl, who stops smiling when she realizes Clarke is actually pissed. "What made you think this was a good idea? Now my clothes are soaked and Lexa's as well! What the hell?" Clarke looks over to Lexa to see how she's feeling. What she sees is not at all what she expects. Lexa is now sitting up with the hint of a smile on her face, which has streaks of black from her make up all over it, and Clarke thinks she's trying to hold in a laugh.

 

Clarke gives her an inquisitive look and before she can ask Lexa what she thinks is so funny, she whips out the nerf gun and shoots Clarke right in the chest with it, before letting out something that sounds a whole lot like a witch's cackle. Raven waits a moment before laughing herself and Clarke just stares at Lexa in shock for a couple of seconds more before eventually she starts laughing as well. 

 

"You suck." Clarke says through her laughter, standing up as she does, figuring she should probably try and find a spare pair of clothes somewhere for her and Lexa. She offers Lexa her hand and Lexa stares at it cautiously. "If you want to change out of those wet clothes, I'd take my hand." She says, and Lexa accepts Clarke's help, standing up with relative ease. Clarke lets go of Lexa's hand and follows Raven towards the patio.

 

They walk over to their friends who are all sitting around and paying little attention to them at all.

 

"Team Lexa wins!" Raven tells them, and Jasper, Octavia and Lincoln let out small cheers of excitement. Clarke lets them celebrate briefly before interrupting.

 

"As exciting as that is, Octavia? Can I take some of your clothes for Lexa and I? Ours are kinda soaked." She asks.

 

"Yeah, sure, you know where they are." Octavia says, she's clearly too preoccupied with whatever Lincoln is whispering in her ear to be of any use to her. 

 

Before she leaves to go to Octavia's room, she leans in to Raven and whispers in her ear, "I am going to get you back for this. You have been warned." She pulls away and turns to Lexa gesturing for her to follow, and grabbing her phone from where it rests on the top step before leaving.

 

Lexa follows her through the house and up the stairs to Octavia's room in silence. Clarke goes in and grabs some clothes for herself from Octavia's closet. "You can grab whatever you want. Octavia won't mind." She says, and Lexa nods, moving hesitantly towards the closet and rifling through. Clarke makes her way toward the door intending to leave Lexa to change in here. She turns to face Lexa and says, "I'll change in the bathroom down the hall, and you can change here if you want or change in there when I'm done." Lexa nods. 

 

"I'll just change here." Lexa says with an appreciative smile. 

 

"Right. Okay, see you later." Clarke says before she turns and walks out the door, but before she can leave Lexa calls her name, and she turns around.

 

"I just wanted to say sorry. For the other day. I was in a bad mood and was rude." Lexa says, and Clarke smiles. At least Lexa doesn't hate her.

 

"No worries. Happens to everyone." She assures Lexa with a smile and Lexa seems to accept it so Clarke turns around and walks off towards the bathroom, hearing the bedroom door shut behind her. She sighs deeply before walking in to the bathroom and shutting the door, only to lean against it.

 

Clearly she still has a _lot_ to figure out about Lexa.

 

* * *

 

Lexa gets dressed relatively quickly, and while it's not something she'd normally wear, she goes with it anyways. She ends up in a navy blue tank top and white shorts. She thinks she looks vaguely nautical and chastises herself for picking these colors but figures she doesn't want to spend any more time in Octavia's bedroom, she feels strange enough about it as it is. 

 

She grabs her wet clothes and brings them downstairs with her to bring to the front hall so she can grab them before she leaves. She drops the clothes off and starts to make her way towards the kitchen, or gluttony, one of the rooms she has yet to visit.

 

She's hungry, partly because she'd just been running around for a half hour or so and partly because her dinner had been pretty minimal since she was in a bit of a rush.

 

She walks in the room and notices immediately that it's crowded. It's full of so many people, most of whom she does not know. She sees Raven and Monty, but other than that no one she really knows. There's also so much food. There are bowls of chips, candy, anything you can put in a bowl really, as well as plates of every dessert imaginable and oversized wine and beer glasses and Lexa's very impressed. Her eyes are drawn to the red velvet cupcakes and she heads over to the plate to grab one. 

 

When she gets there, Raven pops up beside her with a smile.

 

"Lexa, hey. Listen, sorry about spraying you with the hose. Kinda a dick move, I know." She says sheepishly and Lexa just smiles gently.

 

"It's alright. I thought it was funny. Clarke, on the other hand, I'd worry about." Lexa says, and Raven lets out a laugh at that.

 

"Yeah she already threatened me over it. Like she could get me, though. I'm great." Raven says, and Lexa shakes her head in agreement. She picks up a cupcake and unwraps it and goes to take a bite, and before she can, Raven adds, "You look hot, by the way," before walking off with a sly wave.

 

Lexa's eyes widen slightly in response, but from what she knows of Raven, she's truly unsure why she's surprised at her comment. 

 

She eats the cupcake in her hand. Somach unsatisfied, she also grabs a jell-o shot and takes that before deciding to go to the next room.

 

She thinks if she stays here too long she'll eat all the food in front of her and though she wouldn't mind it, she figures it wouldn't be the most polite practice.

 

She also thinks that maybe she'll find Clarke in the next room (though she's certainly not _looking_ for her). Since she's apologized, she hopes things will return to normal between them.

 

(Whatever normal is.)

 

* * *

 

The lust room. Low, red lights, dirty music, and an overall promiscuous vibe. She's been avoiding it all night because she knows Sarah's probably in here (the girl loves to dance) and she really doesn't want to dance with her. 

 

She's pleasantly surprised, however, when she finds Lexa standing on the outskirts of the mass of dancing bodies.

 

She contemplates the merits of pretending she hasn't seen her and waiting to see if Lexa seeks her out, but knowing Lexa, she probably won't. Plus, she took two more shots with Octavia in the greed room as she passed through on her way here and has an extra boost of liquid courage on her side which propels her legs towards Lexa. 

 

Clarke's not looking to talk. If she were, she'd grab Lexa's hand and bring her outside or something so they could talk. No, Clarke wants to dance. With Lexa. Now.

 

She walks up to her and leans in to her ear and asks her if she wants to dance. She looks at her, completely expressionless for a moment before slowly nodding yes. Clarke reaches down and grabs Lexa's hand, pulling her further into the crowd before stopping and turning to face her. Without giving herself a chance to decide against it, she puts her hands on Lexa's waist, pulling her closer. She doesn't really recognize the song but she dances anyways, moving her hips in rhythm with the music against Lexa's. She still seems hesitant so Clarke looks into her eyes and give her a reassuring smile. Lexa soom smiles back and Clarke takes Lexa's hands and brings them up to rest behind her own neck before moving her hands back down to Lexa's hips. Lexa relaxes a little and eventually starts moving with the music and Clarke follows suit, matching her movements to Lexa's while continuing to watch Lexa with intrigue. 

 

Lexa stares back, pupils blown, lips slightly parted, and head cocked slightly as though she were trying to understand what's happening. Clarke wonders how it's possible for her to look so innocent and so intimidatingly attractive all at the same time. Clarke stares at Lexa's parted lips and wonders what would happen if she were to just lean in and kiss her.

 

If it were any other girl, she would, but it's Lexa, and she cares what happens. So, she doesn't kiss her, but instead draws impossibly closer to her, leaving almost no space between their bodies. She hears Lexa take a deep breath and all but sigh as she exhales and it almost kills her. She decides that, while she can't kiss Lexa, she can make Lexa wish she was kissing her.

 

She slides her hands down a little lower onto Lexa's hips and she feels her skin where her shirt is riding up and she prays to every god imaginable that she retains some semblance of cool. Her right hand toys with the hem of Lexa's shirt and she swears she hears a quiet moan. Lexa pulls her head back from where it was resting near Clarke's shoulder and _holy fucking shit_.

 

She's not sure if she's seen someone look this turned on in her life, and she'd laugh if she didn't feel almost exactly the way Lexa looks. Clarke doesn't know how much longer she can last before she just kisses Lexa, so she leans forward and mumbles "Water." in Lexa's ear before dropping a somewhat sloppy kiss to her cheek and retreating quickly out of the crowd, leaving a completely shell-shocked Lexa to watch her walk away.

 

Where's Raven with the hose when you really need her?

 

* * *

 

After whatever the _fuck_ happened with Clarke, Lexa decides to follow suit.

 

She goes off in search for water, but not before stopping in the bathroom to examine her appearance and straighten herself out. She's still feeling pretty fuzzy from the alcohol, and that combined with whatever tension Clarke had just created is a terrible, terrible combination.

 

Once she's satisfied she doesn't look like the most sexually frustrated person to ever exist, she exits the bathroom and walks into the kitchen, dodging as many people as she can before grabbing an oversized solo cup and filling it with water from the sink. She downs the cup as she walks out of the room, leaving it on the table by the door before she exits, ignoring the guilt she feels about not taking the time to throw it out and going off in search of Clarke.

 

Whatever just happened between them left Lexa feeling more confused than she has felt in so long and she wanted some kind of explanation or resolution.

 

She decides to head to the basement, the room designated to be sloth, to see if maybe Clarke is there. As she descends the stairs she notices the room's been made into some sort of pillow fort. How quaint. It's a massive fort, with sheets draping from the ceiling and pillows and- oh. Clarke. But she's not alone. She's standing with the girl from earlier- Sarah, and she's touching her arm and laughing and Lexa just feels confused. She also doesn't think she really wants to stay at the party any longer. She feels as though she's been punched in the stomach. She turns around as quickly as she came and hurries up the stairs as quietly as possible. 

 

(She doesn't notice Clarke turning around just in time to watch her leave.)

 

She enters the hallway and runs into Octavia. She very quickly thanks her for having her before heading to the foyer to pick up her wet clothes and leaving without saying goodbye to anyone else.

 

Lexa's confused. One minute, she and Clarke are dancing and she's almost sure Clarke's going to kiss her and the next, she's standing in the basement watching Clarke and some other girl. Lexa's moving as quickly as she can away from the house. She feels sick and she knows it's jealousy. Jealousy she shouldn't feel because she shouldn't care. But she does and now she's paying for it.

 

She's made it almost as far as Clarke's house when she hears her.

 

She turns around to see Clarke running (if you could really call it that, it's more of a drunken trot) in her direction and calling out her name. She huffs and turns back around, continuing to walk away.

 

_ She doesn't care. She doesn't care. She doesn't care. _

 

"Lexa! Fucking- Lexa. Please wait. Come on, I can barely fucking walk and- just, please?" Clarke pleads. Lexa continues walking for a few seconds, but some part of her feels guilty for doing so and she stops, still not turning around to face her, though. It takes a few seconds for Clarke to catch up, and when she does, she circles around Lexa to face her, though she keeps some distance between them. "Why are you leaving?" Clarke asks and Lexa laughs (though there's no humor behind it).

 

"I wanted to leave." Lexa says simply. She doesn't owe Clarke an explanation. Why would she?

 

"Lexa. I saw you leaving the basement. Did you leave because of that?" Clarke asks, and Lexa doesn't say anything. If Clarke knew she saw her, why would she come out, if not only to rub it in her face? "I'll take that as a yes. Well, whatever you think you saw, you're wrong. Stupid Sarah wouldn't leave me the fuck alone. I just wanted to take a breather and she showed up and wouldn't shut up. I wanted quiet or something. It's been kind of an intense night." Clarke says, and she's searching Lexa's eyes, but she doesn't relent. She still owes her nothing. "Okay, what the fuck Lexa. I don't understand you at all. One minute you seem like you're interested in me and the next you're storming out like a middle schooler because the boy you like danced with someone else at the dance. I'm not dumb, Lexa and neither are you. You act like you don't care about me but I know you do. You're not as subtle as you'd like to think. No one who doesn't care just storms out like that, so tell me, Lexa, why did you leave?" And she punctuates each of the words in her question with some kind of venom that makes Lexa almost afraid to stand here with her.

 

Lexa really only has two options here. She can either lie and say she doesn't care, or simply leave without saying anything at all. She contemplates the merits of both ideas before she settles on what she thinks is the best choice.

 

She takes a deep breath, walks two steps towards Clarke, looks into her eyes, their deep crystal sparkling with the glint of the moon above them, searching for the courage to do what she has to in the constellations she's sure are behind them. She takes another breath, pulls her in by the shoulders, and kisses her. 

 

She feels Clarke tense up for a second and Lexa wonders if maybe she's done the wrong thing, but her worries are short lived as Clarke relaxes and tangles her right hand in Lexa's hair, wrapping her left arm around her lower back. Lexa lets herself relax a little. The kiss is gentle. It's soft and sweet and oh so simple and Lexa thinks she's never been more content in her entire life than she is right now standing here kissing Clarke.

 

That feeling, however, is interrupted by her stomach quickly sinking in a most unsettling manner. Lexa pulls back as fast as she can and turns to her side before vomiting on the grass beside them.

 

Not exactly the reaction she'd hoped she would have to kissing Clarke Griffin.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6, or the one where Clarke is jealous of an antelope, Lexa watches a Disney movie, and Heda the dog continues to have terrible timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and being patient with me. My computer consistently sucks so it's always a game of chance as to whether or not I'll be able to write. I really appreciate all the super sweet comments and everything so much! Be sure to follow me on tumblr @clarkeofthebikru if you want. I'm always down to talk about this fic or anything the 100 related there. YOU'RE ALL SO GREAT. (Also sorry this chapter is a little shorter than others :/)
> 
> warnings: vomiting (alcohol related) and drugs  
> also spoilers if you haven't seen Beauty and the Beast (as in the Disney movie)

Chapter 6

 

* * *

 

Lexa's been vomiting for somewhere around a half an hour and Clarke's in the middle of re-braiding her hair to get it off of her face again. Of all nights to leave her hair down, Lexa of course did it on the one where she ended up puking her guts out.

 

This is also probably the last place Clarke would have guessed she'd find herself tonight: Sitting behind a puking Lexa, whispering reassurances that she'll be okay as Lexa just groans while resting her head on her arm.

 

"This is gross. Sorry you're seeing this. You can probably go. I'm fairly sure I'm done." Lexa tells her as she turns slightly to look at Clarke, voice slightly hoarse and very quiet from her exhaustion.

 

"What kinda friend would I be if I left though?" Clarke asks her, resulting in the smallest of smiles from Lexa. "Besides, someone's gotta make sure you don't choke on your own vomit." Clarke says, and Lexa huffs in response.

 

"I'm not totally incompetent." She tells Clarke, who simply rolls her eyes because of course Lexa is managing to be stubborn even now.

 

"Shut up and stay here, I'm gonna get you some water." She says, squeezing Lexa's shoulder gently as she stands.

 

As she gets to the kitchen, she lets herself breathe for a second before moving to get a glass of water for Lexa. A lot had just happened, the most important thing, in her opinion, being the fact that Lexa kissed her. Truthfully, she has no idea what it means, seeing as Lexa literally puked after kissing her. It could have all happened under the guise of excess alcohol and she might just dismiss that it happened tomorrow. Or, maybe she just was looking for liquid courage or even just a way to shut Clarke up. Either way, she knows they'll have to talk about it. But in the morning, when Lexa's sobered up.

 

So, Clarke abandons her thoughts and moves to fill up a glass from the cabinet above the sink with water, and then hurries back to the bathroom, where she finds Lexa sitting up against her bathtub with her eyes closed.

 

"Lexa, here, drink this. You're gonna be dehydrated after all that puking so you'll need it." She tells her, extending the glass towards Lexa who accepts it gratefully. "Sip it slowly." She adds, not wanting Lexa to upset her stomach anymore.

 

Lexa sips slowly, staring at the glass of water as she does, and Clarke's sure that being cross-eyed can't be pleasant for Lexa. She looks up at Clarke and yawns.

 

"Tired?" Clarke asks, and Lexa nods. "C'mon, let's get you to bed." She says, grabbing Lexa's arm and pulling her up. She wraps an arm around her waist to keep her steady, and Lexa starts to slowly shuffle out of the bathroom, leading her in the direction of what Clarke presumes is her bedroom. Clarke chuckles quietly because this is definitely not how she ever thought she'd end up seeing Lexa's bedroom for the first time.

 

"What's funny?" Lexa mumbles, and Clarke clears her throat.

 

"Just remembered something funny Raven said earlier is all." She says, and Lexa stops briefly to turn a little and glare at her before resuming the walk to her room, starting up the stairs, and Clarke bears most of her weight as she does.

 

As Clarke expected, her room is very neat and for the most part, pretty plain. It has the same white walls as the rest of the house, only these are adorned with two paintings: one of the lake itself and one of a mountain. She doesn't have much time to admire the room, because Lexa's tugging her in the direction of the bed, clearly eager for sleep. "You should change. I'll go get you some water and an aspirin for when you wake up. Where do you keep them?"

 

"Cabinet above the sink." Lexa mumbles. Clarke gently removes her arm from Lexa's waist, making sure she's okay to stand, before heading out of the room and downstairs to get some water and the aspirin for when Lexa wakes. As she moves around Lexa's house she hopes that Raven isn't wondering where she is, because the last thing she needs is her teasing.

 

She gets back to the room to find Lexa tucked into her bed, eyes barely open, but clearly waiting for Clarke. She puts the water and aspirin on Lexa's bedside table, before saying, "Go to sleep Lexa. Make sure you're on your side just in case." Lexa nods and settles in further and rolls onto her side. "I'm gonna be downstairs on your couch if you need anything. I'm not entirely sure it's all out of your system so I'm staying just in case." She tells her, and Lexa nods, closing her eyes. "Night Lexa". Clarke says, and Lexa grunts in acknowledgement. Clarke turns the light out and quietly leaves the room.

 

She knows things will probably be complicated in the morning but for now she just lets herself relax and enjoy the fact that Lexa kissed her while still holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe Lexa is as happy about it as she is.

 

* * *

 

Lexa wakes up and immediately realizes she has a splitting headache and the driest mouth to possibly ever exist. She rolls over in her bed to find the glass of water that she remembers Clarke left on her bedside table right next to an aspirin, which she takes quickly, following it with the water. She sits in her bed trying to remember all of what happened last night. There was the party, complete with a nerf battle and a very intense dancing session, and then there was the whole kissing Clarke thing, and then finally the vomiting. A lot of it, if she remembers correctly.

 

If she's not mistaken, Clarke is probably still downstairs asleep on her couch. She grabs the glass of water with the intention of filling it up and heads downstairs to do so (as well as check and see if Clarke's still here).

 

When she gets down to her kitchen, she finds Clarke sitting on her couch, petting Heda contently and humming quietly to herself as she sips some coffee. Lexa bites the insides of her cheeks to keep herself from letting an enormous smile spread because the scene in front of her is really pleasant.

 

"Hello, Clarke." She says quietly, and Clarke jumps, nearly spilling her coffee, and the movement makes Heda jump off the couch and trot off.

 

"Shit Lexa, you scared me!" Clarke says, eyes still wide in shock, but it's just a little too loud for Lexa's headache and she winces a little at the sound of Clarke's voice. "Hangover's pretty bad, then?" Clarke asks, to which Lexa simply nods. "Well you should probably have some more water or have some coffee and maybe try and have some toast or something. Oh yeah, I made coffee, sorry." Clarke tells her with a sheepish look, and Lexa smiles.

 

"If there's coffee waiting for me, I won't complain." She says, turning and heading over to the coffee pot, grabbing a mug and filling it, before walking over to the fridge to get the half and half, as well as to fill up her water. She hears Clarke shuffle into the kitchen and pour herself some more coffee. It's silent as she fills her glass with water and she thinks maybe she should apologize for last night. Or say something. "I'm sorry." She says as she turns around to face Clarke, who looks at her with an eyebrow raised in confusion. "For last night," she continues, "and all of the vomiting. I'm sure you really did not want to deal with that."  She finishes with an apologetic look. Clarke smiles softly, but that doesn't stop it from being blindingly beautiful.

 

"It happens to all of us at least once. I can hardly count the number of toilets I've puked in. It's no big deal, really. Don't worry about it." Clarke tells her, but that doesn't stop her from feeling guilty all the same.

 

"Well, I'm still sorry." She says, to which Clarke simply shakes her head and rolls her eyes. With that out of the way, there's a tension hanging in the air still, and Lexa knows they're going to have to talk about the fact that she kissed Clarke. She considers blaming it on the alcohol, but truthfully, she _wanted_ to kiss Clarke, so lying about it just doesn't feel all too effective. She would also enjoy kissing Clarke again, so if that's in any way a possibility (and she really had no idea if it is) she'd like to know. Kissing Clarke was very nice.

 

"Lexa?" Clarke asks quietly, making Lexa realize she'd just zoned out completely, thinking about kissing her.

 

"Yes, Clarke?" She replies.

 

"We should talk, maybe. About last night." Clarke tells her. It sounds, well frankly it doesn't sound like she has something good to say, and Lexa's stomach drops in thinking that Clarke probably wasn't as excited about, or perhaps didn't even want to be kissing her as she was about kissing Clarke, and Lexa lets herself frown a tiny bit. "You kissed me." Clarke says bluntly, which is unsurprising to Lexa since the girl truthfully is a bit of an open book.

 

"Yeah. I did." She confirms with the tiniest of smiles, which Clarke returns.

 

"But last time I saw you before then you were acting like you hardly knew me. And then last night you came to Octavia's and were jealous of Sarah and instead of talking to me you just got all huffy and left like an idiot. Because you're so fucking stubborn and afraid to admit you have feelings." Clarke says, and Lexa shrugs sheepishly in response, which only seems to further Clarke's confusion. "Lexa Woods, you're the most confusing person I have ever met and it's endlessly frustrating. One minute you're leaving me a note practically begging me to bring you flowers and the next you can't get me out of your house fast enough. You can't just turn into an asshole whenever you have feelings, you know? And part of last night's confusion is on me. I was using Sarah as a distraction from your whatever the fuck it was and ok yeah I was flirting with her to make you jealous which I know is a dick move but you wouldn't do anything or even talk to me and I was so done with it. We did the whole nerf battle thing and then that little moment on the dance floor and then stupid Sarah showed up and ruined everything. But then you kissed me and it was all so great and I really want to kiss you again but probably not right now because I watched you vomit last night and I'm pretty sure you've yet to brush your teeth, so, yeah." Clarke finishes.

 

That was a lot to process and Lexa knows she has to say something soon before Clarke starts talking again and worries to stress herself out more than she clearly already has.

 

"You're right." She says simply, because Clarke _is_ right. About everything. Lexa had most definitely been scared off by her own feelings and turned into an asshole and she knows she can't do that. She also hasn't brushed her teeth yet, which she's becoming acutely aware of. Clarke gives her a look that's not-so-subtly trying to ask for more. "I was trying to avoid you. After losing so much I'm afraid to care. About you or anyone. Despite that, I do care. And I want to kiss you again, but you were also right about that. I have not yet brushed my teeth." She tells Clarke, who moves closer to her to put a hand on her arm and look into her eyes, which seem to express her understanding of just how hard it is for Lexa to deal with this.

 

"Then go brush your teeth, because that is truly disgusting." Clarke deadpans, making Lexa laugh. She's thankful that Clarke is patient, and hopefully understands what she's going through on some level, with all her confusion and mixed emotions. She walks down the hall to the bathroom, and looks at herself in the mirror before starting on brushing her teeth. She looks like death, though she doesn't know what else she was expecting after the previous night's adventures with alcohol induced illness. She brushes her teeth quickly, trying to coif herself into a relatively decent looking human being as she does. Once she's satisfied she doesn't look her absolute worst, she splashes a little water in her face, hoping it will help her feel a little better despite her hangover symptoms which are still persistent. She heads back into the kitchen where she finds Clarke leaned up against her kitchen's counter and looking at something on her phone. She looks up when she hears Lexa enter, though, and gives her yet another beautiful smile. She returns the smile with one of her own, and moves to grab her glass of water, figuring the coffee will taste pretty disgusting after brushing her teeth.

 

"You know, you do still owe me a quiet night in at some point." Lexa tells Clarke as casually as she can. She knows it sounds a lot more like a date now, and she's not sure if it will be, but she knows she wants to spend time with Clarke.

 

"I suppose I do. Good thing I'm free tonight, then." Clarke says with a smirk. Forward of her, but again, Lexa's not surprised.

 

"How do you know I am?" She asks Clarke, who just gives her a look.

 

"Are we gonna do this every time I offer to hang out with you? I know you're dying to force me to stay in and eat a salad while drinking wine and watching some kind of nature documentary. So are you gonna invite me over tonight or what?" Clarke asks, and she can't help but smile because the evening Clarke just described does sound like her typical night (minus the salad, she'd rather have something a little less bland). She sighs and resigns herself to invite Clarke over.

 

"Fine. Come over tonight? I'm cooking. Are you allergic to anything?" She asks. Clarke shakes her head no, and smiles again.

 

"I'll come over. You better cook something good." Clarke says, and Lexa laughs because if there's anything Lexa can do, it's cook.

 

"Noted. And Clarke?" She asks, earning a nod from Clarke. "Thanks again. For last night. And sorry I almost vomited on you."

 

"You're cute so I'll let it slide." Clarke says nonchalantly, earning a blush from Lexa and a gentle eye roll.

 

"Clarke." She warns her, to which Clarke just gives her a faux-innocent look and a shrug.

 

She truly tests her patience, but somehow, she doesn't mind. (She thinks it has something to do with the way she finds herself lost in Clarke's eyes, or how blinding her smile is).

 

She's in for a long night of trying to resist her own urge to simply kiss her every time she smiles or speaks or breathes, wanting to let Clarke make the next move.

 

(She hopes Clarke isn't as patient about kissing Lexa as she's trying to be).

 

* * *

 

There are two things Clarke is entirely certain of.

 

One, that Lexa is exceptional at cooking. Clarke was expecting maybe a casual pasta dish or something simple like that. However, when she got to Lexa's house she found her sautéeing some mushrooms and making some kind of sauce for the chicken dish (the name of which Clarke seriously can't remember but it sounds fancy). Lexa's cooking is seriously delicious and Clarke is equal parts jealous and impressed.

 

The second thing is that she _really_ wants to kiss Lexa. After they eat, Lexa has an episode of some show about the Earth for them to watch (which is so endearing) and Lexa's so careful to give Clarke space which would be cute if Clarke didn't want the exact opposite of space. She keeps scooting closer to Lexa and she honestly feels like a damn teenager as she does. It's just that Lexa looks so beautiful, hair in her classic braid, smiling contently at the fucking antelopes or whatever that are on her screen with her eyes practically sparkling and Clarke's not sure she's ever seen her look happier and it's so cute and if Clarke just moved a little closer maybe Lexa would pay attention to her instead of the damn antelopes.

 

"Lexa?" She asks, hoping to get her attention.

 

"Yes." Lexa answers her, eyes not leaving the screen as she does. So much for that plan.

 

"Why do you like this Earth show so much?" She asks, because she is genuinely curious. She figured Lexa for more of a history buff, and not so much a nature girl.

 

"I find it calming to think about the fact that we're just one of so many species. That there's so much out in the world we may never experience and that there's a lot of greater forces out there than just us. I also just love wild animals." Lexa explains quietly, but she's still watching the tv and Clarke is getting a little impatient. She scoots so she's as close to Lexa as possible without actually touching her and fixes her eyes on the tv now, observing Lexa from the corner of her eye as she finally shifts her focus to Clarke.

 

"Clarke." Lexa whispers, which brings a smile to Clarke's face.

 

"What?" She asks with as much innocence as possible.

 

"You're close." Lexa explains, and Clarke huffs out a laugh.

 

"Very observant." She responds, now looking over to Lexa whose eyes are wide and full of confusion.

 

"Why?" Lexa asks her, although she's sure she already knows the answer. Clarke isn't exactly being subtle in any way.

 

"Why do you think?" Clarke asks, because as much as she wants to kiss Lexa, she really is cute when she's flustered.

 

"I don't-" She starts, but is rudely interrupted by her dog rounding the couch and jumping on to it next to Clarke, who is now _sure_ the dog is the biggest cockblock she's ever encountered.

 

"Hi Heda." Clarke grumbles, petting the dog gently even though it's pretty much one of the last things she wants to be doing on this couch right now.

 

"She really seems to like you." Lexa notes with a hint of surprise in her voice.

 

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Clarke asks Lexa.

 

"She's usually a one girl kind of dog. She loves boys but unless it's me, she's usually pretty aggressive towards girls. Even Anya doesn't get as much love from her as you do." She explains, and Clarke finds herself oddly flattered by Lexa's dog's toleration of her.

 

"Not my fault I'm so charming. Not even dogs can resist." She says. If there's one thing she is, it's cocky.

 

"Is your ego always this big?" Lexa asks with a hint of sarcasm and Clarke laughs.

 

"Only when girls don't practically vomit on me after kissing me. That tends to deflate it." She says, somehow keeping a straight face, and Lexa suddenly works very hard to avoid eye contact.

 

"That isn't why I vomited and you know it, Clarke." She mumbles while still avoiding eye contact.

 

"I know." Clarke says, and Lexa looks up. "I'm a great kisser." Lexa rolls her eyes at that, but she smiles anyways.

 

"Mhm." Lexa hums and Clarke smirks and goes back to paying attention to the tv.

 

They're relatively quiet for the rest of the night, the quiet only interrupted by Lexa occasionally interjecting a fact about whatever animal is on the screen and Clarke's laughter at Lexa's near-childlike excitement. It's cute, and Clarke's really enjoying this side of Lexa.

 

Eventually, Clarke starts to get tired, and she gently leans her head on Lexa's shoulder, and she feels Lexa tense for a second before relaxing. Lexa puts her hand over Clarke's, and Clarke flips hers over and intertwines their fingers, absentmindedly running her thumb over Lexa's.

 

"You know, Clarke," Lexa starts quietly. "If you're tired you can leave. I wont be offended. You did stay up late last night taking care of me, so I understand if you need rest."

 

"Okay." She says, but she doesn't move to get up, because she doesn't want to, frankly. Lexa lifts Clarke's head from her shoulder, still holding her hand and tugs on it a little to encourage her to stand up, which she does (but only after gently moving Heda's head from her own lap). They walk hand in hand to Lexa's door, and Clarke lets go of Lexa's hand to bend down and put her shoes on, but she doesn't miss how empty her hand feels without Lexa's.

 

"Do you want me to walk home with you?" Lexa asks, and Clarke shakes her head no.

 

"You've already done so much, it's okay." She says. Lexa nods, and reaches out to open the door. They stand there with the door open for a few seconds and Clarke knows it's now or never, so she leans in and gives Lexa a chaste kiss on her lips. "Thanks for tonight, Lexa." She says, and Lexa smiles.

 

"It was my pleasure, Clarke. See you soon." Lexa says. Clarke smiles at her before turning around with the most geeky wave ever.

 

She's definitely sunk now.

 

* * *

 

The week after the night at her house is one if the nicer ones Lexa has had in a long time. It's full of afternoons on the beach with Clarke, stolen kisses under starry skies and Lexa's been extremely powerless to resist Clarke's undeniable charm.

 

Earlier in the day, Clarke had asked Lexa if she wanted to come over to her house in the evening to join her friends in smoking and watching movies. Lexa had agreed, though she'd much rather it just be her and Clarke. They had decided not to put a label on whatever it was they were doing (which really was just hanging out and occasionally kissing or holding hands) and also waiting to tell anyone about whatever was going on until they understood it fully.

 

When she gets to Clarke's house, she's greeted by a very enthusiastic Raven who practically drags her through the house and on to the back porch, where Clarke, Bellamy, Octavia and Monty are sitting. She wonders briefly where Lincoln is and Octavia seems to pick up on it because she tells Lexa he got called in to work for an hour with an emergent patient.

 

Clarke calls out to her and Lexa takes a seat beside her. Lexa's not nearly as practiced at smoking as Clarke and her friends are, because she still coughs after the first several hits she takes. She's eventually able to take one without coughing, and at that point she decides she'll only take one more. She doesn't want to overdo it and try and keep up with Clarke's friends, and no one questions it. After a while, once the fuzziness of the high sets in, they talk about everything. From physics to cartoons and everything in between. Lexa's starting to finally feel a part of them as she contributes random facts and ideas to certain parts of the conversation. Clarke smiles at her with every word she says and it's getting increasingly harder not to kiss her. She's thankful when people start to head into the house to watch the movie and Clarke whispers for her to stay outside a bit longer with her. Once the last of her friends is inside, she grabs her hand and drags her off down the stairs of the porch into the yard.

 

She drops her hand and sits down on the ground, patting the space next to her. "C'mon." She says, "We're gonna stargaze." The explanation is good enough for her, and she moves to sit down next to Clarke who shuffles closer to her and grabs her hand again, leaning her head on Lexa's shoulder like the other night.

 

"Do you know anything about the constellations?" She asks, because she may know a lot of things but how to identify constellations is not one of them.

 

"My dad taught me about them, so yeah." She says quietly. "Those three," she says, pointing to a particularly bright set of three stars, "That's Orion's belt. I used to be able to tell what the rest of Orion was, but I don't remember any more." She's smiling and her smile truly rivals the stars in it's brightness. "You see that shape, it's kind of like a pot with a bent handle?" She asks, and Lexa follows the motion of Clarke's hand before turning to nod at her. She knows that's the big dipper, but she loves the way Clarke lights up talking about the stars so she lets her continue. "It's the big dipper. And that kinda dusty looking bit over there with a lof of stars? That's the milky way." She explains, and she's so happy and beautiful and bright that Lexa's like a moth drawn to flame and can't resist leaning in to kiss her. Clarke smiles into the kiss and for whatever reason, Lexa giggles.

 

"Did you just giggle?" Clarke asks incredulously, to which Lexa just snorts and starts laughing again. "Oh my god, Lexa." She says, but Lexa still can't stop laughing. "First you vomit, now you laugh? You're really doing a number on my ego here." Clarke jokes, and Lexa tries to calm her laughter enough to explain.

 

"Oh god, no. Sorry, I just can't stop laughing." She manages to get out, before laughing again at the thought of how many times their kisses (or even almost kisses) have been interrupted.

 

"You're one of those people who finds everything funny when they're high, aren't you? Of course." Clarke sighs. "Well, since we're not gonna be doing anymore kissing, because I can't take the humiliation of you laughing during it, we should go inside and join the others before they start to get suspicious." Clarke says, standing up and extending her hand to Lexa who is still laughing. She takes it and stands, taking several deep breaths which seem to stall the laughter. Clarke lets her hand go and starts to walk off towards the porch stairs and up them into the house, quickly followed by Lexa who very much misses the feeling of Clarke's hand in hers. Once they're inside, Clarke gasps, and Lexa looks at her to try and figure out what could've startled her.

 

"You guys picked Beauty and the Beast? And started _without me_?" Clarke asks. Lexa would be more confused if she didn't know this was one of Clarke's favorites.

 

"We weren't gonna wait all night to start the movie. Besides it's like fifteen minutes in or something. You'll be fine. Come on!" Octavia calls, and Clarke nods her head in the direction of the living room, where they both have to sit on the ground with their backs up against the couch.

 

It's a pretty cute movie, Lexa will give it that much. The music is relatively fun, and there are some pretty great quips from the talking furniture. Truthfully, though, she's not paying very much attention to the movie. Most of her attention, in fact, is directed at Clarke who is singing along to every word of every song and smiling each time Belle and the Beast interact.

 

There's one song, which Lexa believes to be called "Something There" which really sticks with her. It's a scene where the Beast and Belle realize perhaps there's more to their relationship than they thought before. It reminds her a bit of herself and Clarke, actually, which makes her nervous to think too much about, so she tries to just focus on the song, the characters and specifically the singing teapot to distract herself from her own thoughts. In the middle of the song, Clarke puts her hand over Lexa's with as much subtlety as possible, but Lexa's breath catches nonetheless.

 

In the end of the movie, when Belle lays crying over the Beast, Lexa is horrified to feel a tear fall. Horrified mostly because, were she not high, that's something that would never happen, of that she's sure. But it's happened and she tries to wipe it off her face before Clarke can notice. Her attempt it without success, however, as Clarke notices her rub at her cheek and chuckles before whispering, "Lexa, are you crying?"

 

"No. That would be ridiculous. Something is making my eyes water." She hisses, and she sees Clarke bite back a smile.

 

"Whatever you say." Clarke sighs, before whispering even more quietly, "Sap."

 

Lexa nudges her shoulder in annoyance, and Clarke laughs.

 

Hopefully she can retain any semblance of dignity for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

Lexa manages to hold in any drug-induced emotional outbursts for the remainder of the evening, and thankfully Clarke doesn't bring it up again. She does walk her home, however and occasionally stops to tell her more things about the stars, and with each stop, Lexa can't help but kiss her. Each kiss is short and sweet but full of all the things Lexa wants to tell Clarke about how endearing her love for the stars is, or how she wonders if it's possible that Clarke herself is made from stardust.

 

When she gets home, Clarke kisses her goodnight before leaving and throwing the word "Sap!" over her shoulder. Lexa doesn't argue. She thinks it's probably starting to be true.

 

When she gets in, however, she feels the urge to talk. There's a lot of thoughts and feeling running through her mind and she needs to talk to someone who will ground her. She pulls out her phone and goes to her favorites and selects Anya's number. It rings three times before she answers.

 

"Lexa it is two AM, what could you possibly need from me at this hour?" Anya groans, and Lexa can almost picture the expressionless annoyance in her voice.

 

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't realize what time it was." Lexa apologizes, feeling guilty for waking Anya.

 

"What do you need?" Anya asks, and Lexa's not really sure anymore. There's about a hundred things she could talk about. She could talk about Clarke and her beautiful smile and eyes made from the sky, or her own feelings, but she settles for the one fear she has that overshadows everything else.

 

"I think I'm forgetting Costia." She says, and she waits for Anya's response. She hears a quiet sigh from Anya's side and some rustling before she hears her speak again.

 

"You are not. There are many things in life you will manage to forget but Costia is not one." Anya assures her, but Lexa still feels painfully unnerved.

 

"I've started caring for a girl. My neighbor. The closer I get to her, the further I feel from Costia." Lexa explains, and it feels good to say aloud what she tried so hard not to acknowledge in her head.

 

"You know you will always have her with you. As for your neighbor, don't limit yourself because of an old love. If you care for this girl, that means something. You should not try to avoid it." Anya tells her. She's right and Lexa knows it. "You needed to stop pretending you don't care about anything. Now, I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Lexa." Anya says, and before she can respond she hears the phone beep, signifying that Anya's hung up.

 

"Goodnight." She says to no one in particular, before shuffling off towards her bedroom.

 

Maybe Anya's right. Maybe it really is time she stopped pretending not to care.


	7. ??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> updates

Hey guys! So here's the deal; originally I was going to try and finish this whole story before I leave for camp this summer, but that didn't really happen. I kind of lost inspiration too so hopefully the summer will get me back in the Clexa writing mood. I also considered doing a rush job of a last chapter but that felt untrue to the story and also unfair to all of you, SO I'm gonna be going on a hiatus for a while. I leave on the 18th and don't come back until the 22/29th of August (I know, I know, that's a long hiatus) I also have a week off in the middle where I wanna try and update once. BUT when I get back I will get right back to writing. Thanks for being patient, and feel free to send me asks or anything about this or my life or whatever on tumblr (clarkeofthebikru.tumblr.com). Hopefully I'll be able to get on there pretty often and I still wanna be thinking about it always. You all are great and I can't wait to get back to writing this. :) Have a great summer, friends!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll obviously delete this chapter when i get home from camp. seriously, come chat with me about this story on tumblr!


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